Can somebody please be ever so kindest to tell me WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?!?!
No, please tell me what the hell was this series of moving pictures was supposed to be? I don't get it, I didn't get a single damn thing about it. It makes zip-to-no sense. I had my third wisdom… More
Can somebody please be ever so kindest to tell me WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?!?!
No, please tell me what the hell was this series of moving pictures was supposed to be? I don't get it, I didn't get a single damn thing about it. It makes zip-to-no sense. I had my third wisdom tooth pulled out the day I watched this, & even the pain I felt from waiting for the open gap to clog up didn't make this film any better. In fact, it only made it WORSE! The acting is tediously bad, the plot makes no sense, the story steals elements from other (and far superior) horror films & does nothing useful with them, it is completely inconsistent (no seriously, you'll almost forget what the point of the movie was), drops a certain subject & never brings it back up, the dialogue is so bad I laughed hardcore, the dialogue is so bad that it will make you head slap yourself so many times at once (yes, i used the dialogue again, but that's how bad it was), the soundtrack sucks, the score loses it's luster, & the script is as bad as they come. I swear I laughed at this movie so hard that I think that may have been the problem to why my open, toothless gap didn't close.
As far as the scares go, it abuses the jump-scare factor, & I mean abuses it. Almost every 5-7 minutes of the movie, the character or camera turns around & "BAM!" goes the scare. TUrning around again, & "BAM!" The scares in this movie are not there to scare, because they're not even scary (a 3-year-old wouldn't find this scary), they're there to be annoying. And boy are they annoying. It's like when your friend throws out a Magikarp during a battle with him simply to annoy the hell out of you with or when some trainer has a Pokemon that constantly uses "Protect" at the very beginning of the battle. ITS ANNOYING!!
When my friend & I went to pick up his little sister, she came out laughing her ass off from the theater room. I should have been warned. No, this movie is so bad, that I'd rather force myself to watch all of those shitty straight to DVD Disney sequels, Cars, Chicken Little, A Nightmare on Elm Street (the remake), The Grudge franchise, & even that Shutter remake than this!
The whole film consists of the main character, Molly, being traumatized, & apparently haunted by memories of her mother trying to kill her, because her mother "knows what she is". And voila, the 'plot' begins (I use the term "plot" very loosely)! That being said, the rest of the film consists of that same sentence! "I know what you are!" And you know what? Throughout no part of the movie is it explained what the hell she (Molly) really is! Is she a demon? A demonic entity? A slave of the underworld? WHAT!?!?!
The acting is hilariously bad. Each character had the same face 95% throughout the whole movie, only shifting expression & a face wrinkle on very few moments. When Molly was having her painful visions & such, she looked more like she was having an orgasm. I'm serious, Haley Benett's acting is better suited for the pornography industry than it is for the big screen.
At a certain point of the movie, the dude Molley likes(?) tells her "Let's leave together". Yup, the most formulaic piece of dialogue that has been used countless times in other films is used in here! Do you need to know more? Do you?
As one of my friends around here perfectly said, "Watching this movie is like watching monkeys masturbate." And they're correct! You do not want to watch the horrible mess you're seeing, but at the same time, it makes too much of a scene to ignore, like when a mom's young child throws a tantrum in the store when he/she doesn't get a toy.
As far as calling it a "horror" movie, that's like calling Disaster Movie a "comedy". The Haunting of Molly Hartley is better suited for the Drama/Comedy section. That's another thing that makes this movie less of a horror, not to say it was even a horror movie to begin with, it is loaded with too much teen soap/drama bull. And you know what, even the teen drama goes wrong in this movie. You'll see much better, more enjoyable teen drama in "16 & Pregnant", & "High School Musical" than you will in this movie.
Do me a favor, DO NOT watch this movie. If you want to keep your sanity, then avoid this movie like the plague. But if you want to watch a great comedy, then go on ahead & watch it, but beware! I am seriously not kidding you when I say that this movie literally messed up my entire "worst horror movies I have ever seen" list. "Pulse" (remake) used to be first on that list, now it's third, just behind this one!