With a title like The Kung Fu Mummy you would expect to have some b movie fun. Well it completely fail on every level and rarely provided any laughs.
The Kung Fu Mummy simply has no salvageable plot, the closest I could gather to a story was a police officer looking for the mummy… More
With a title like The Kung Fu Mummy you would expect to have some b movie fun. Well it completely fail on every level and rarely provided any laughs.
The Kung Fu Mummy simply has no salvageable plot, the closest I could gather to a story was a police officer looking for the mummy for an unexplained reason. The movie is self aware that it's bad and that's where most of the problem comes from. For starter the plot has no focus, literally in the first minute the line "Ever had your tits boxed" is utter in a pointless dream sequence. Than a minutes later our hero clock says 11:34 and then three seconds later it changes to 12:56. The lack of quality is no surprise to be honest, especially when you watch a mummy skate boarding across town, making friend with a blind homeless person, and somehow becoming a doctor. The same can be said about the Razzie worthy dialogue. Here's some from a chase scene in a sex factory.
Talent-less leading man: "I got a riddle for you"
Pointless villain: "Shoot!"
Talent-less leading man: "What did the cannibal do, after he dumped his girlfriend"
Pointless villain: "I, I give up"
Talent-less leading man: "Wiped his butt"
Film crew laughing off screen.
Plot wise, it's simply awful. Everything is atrocious, despicable, horrendous, and just downright painful to watch. The acting is clearly bad, but the actors really push your button when there completely obnoxious and you just want them to shut up. The sounds effect are funny for like thirty seconds and become annoying. Almost everything sounds like glass breaking from a guy hitting a grassy floor to people breaking a piece of wood. The film quality is terrible and looks more terrible than a high school movie production. Everything about the movie is terrible, it's pointless plot especially. I liked it how even though the mummy friend was blind, he still notice his bad hair cut. Plus the mummy is not even in costume most of the time and even fails to live up to the DVD title.
Now it did provides some laughs, though very rare. Once fight scene in particular was hilariously bad and over the top. So two characters you have don't care about since you didn't pay attention since the movie is a boring are about to fight. So when one of the guys gets knock down he takes out an oar from his pants. Then when the same guy is knocked down again, he takes out a wooden shaolin stick from his pants. Then when the same guy gets knocked down again, he takes out a hockey stick from his pants. Just when you think it can't get weirder, the same guy takes out a chair and gets a hockey stick ram though his butt and takes it out his mouth. Despite it having Kung Fu in the title, it's simply random punching and kicking.
The Kung Fu Mummy fails to be entertaining even at b movie level and doesn't have an audience who will enjoy it for it's complete absurdity. With a budget of $500 dollars, i'm not kidding, that was the actual budget. One should avoid this this mess, or do what I did and throw the DVD case into a wood chipper to make no one else waste their time on this.
