Donnie Darko Sequel Coming -- Unfortunately

It sounds like a prank. We would all like it to be one. But it seems to be legit.

The story comes from Screen Daily, who reports that S. Darko is being shopped around, with Fox already picking up the North American distribution rights. Touted as the sequel to the 2001 cult hit, the story picks up seven years after Donnie Darko left off. The youngest Darko, Samantha, is now 18 and abandoning her commitment to Sparkle Motion. She heads to Las Vegas with her best friend Corey, but the two are plagued with bizarre visions. I imagine they will involve a rabbit.

Richard Kelly, the original director, is in no way involved. Chris Fincher will direct instead. Daviegh Chase, who played Samantha in the original, will reprise her role. It looks like she is the only one. The movie also stars Ed Westwick, Briana Evigan, and Justin Chatwin.

As to the big looming question of why, oh God, why, Simon Crowe of UK sales company Velvet Octopus says they're thinking of the children. "I think there is a new generation of cinema-goers who will be very excited to see this film."
Which generation came of age between 2001 and 2008? Why haven't they rented Donnie Darko? I am afraid these are questions to which Crowe has no answers. But he did quip, "Donnie's not in [the new film] but there are meteorites and rabbits."

Nothing is safe from the all mighty dollar, my friends. Nothing. Even when there is a pretty conclusive ending, there can always be a sequel. I'll leave you to think about that as I go pen my script for No Country for Old Men 2.