Absolute garbage. Personally, when I'm not hating things with a… MoreAbsolute garbage. Personally, when I'm not hating things with a passion, I can see 101 things of beauty in one day. There are beautiful things happening all over the place. Talented story tellers know this and the good ones can express this in the median of their choice. There are many great films that show beauty in the simplest of things, the really clever ones show us beauty where you generally don't expect it. In Noel, Chazz Palminteri (of all people) tries to show beauty in all sorts of nonsensical situations, most of which are ridiculous, unbelievable and down right stupid. He slips up loads of times too, continuity goes right out the window but then that's just me being a moody bum-humbug fool that doesn't believe in fairy-tales. I don't believe in reincarnation, I don't believe in coma-ghosts, I don't believe those with Alzheimer's secretly know exactly what is going on and that they're all just pretending, I don't believe hospitals can keep you against your will, I don't believe Christmas eve lasts 48 hours, I don't believe shops are open until 2am, I don't believe stories of dead babies can be classed as 'Comedy', I don't believe that insulting homosexuals really helps the anti-homophobic message, I don't believe that all poor people live in green apartments, I don't believe Home decorators work late on Christmas eve and are all homosexual, I don't believe anyone is proud with their involvement in this film and I don't believe it was a mistake that Robin William's name was missing from the credits. Oh, and I don't believe in Santa either. Stupid me, what an ass I am.
A sugar-free 'Police Academy' style film set in a Submarine. A nice… MoreA sugar-free 'Police Academy' style film set in a Submarine. A nice idea but unfortunately it totally forgets to be funny. In fact, it gets fairly serious towards the end and any amount of slap-stick would have got in the way as you genuinely want them to succeed in their mission and the way in which they do is actually rather intelligent. Boo, we don't want intelligent, we want stupid!! It's fairly harmless though, I actually watched it thinking it was the other film that came out around the same time, McHale's Navy. I only wanted to see that because Bruce Campbell is in it. I need to get out more.
Funny old film Gravity. It made me feel dizzy and a little bit sick… MoreFunny old film Gravity. It made me feel dizzy and a little bit sick but in this one and only instance, that was a positive thing. I can find no fault with it, although as much as I love Sandra Bullock and I thought she and George Clooney were great, if I had made the film I would have cast completely different people. In fact I would have made quite a few changes and yet I consider it faultless. What the heck? Maybe the whole blockbuster/indie crossover confused me. In that sense it really is a new kind of film, yes the visuals are amazing, the intensity and drama are exhilarating, and yet the quiet moments are not what we have come to expect from a blockbuster but more from an indie. Alfonso Cuarón started as an indie director and has shown that he can do both and do them well. He has also sold me the concept of 3D filming, I was skeptical before but he has shown the way forward. Thrilling throughout, an amazing cinema experience and pretty much faultless.
The first job I had out of Uni was working for Sega. They were real… MoreThe first job I had out of Uni was working for Sega. They were real a-holes so it is nice to see nice people going it alone and succeeding for a change. However, unless you're into gaming and programming this film will have limited appeal. Yes, it is nice to see people rewarded for hard work but I'm really not sure I care. The games did look fun, working for Sega pretty much killed my enjoyment of video games and I've hardly touched a control pad since (and that was 13 years ago) but I can't help but think playing a game for a couple of hours may have been a little more interesting. It was nice to see the creative process though and was helpful to a degree with my own creative ventures. Needless to say, this is compulsory viewing for all budding programmers and game nuts.
It's hard to take The Wild Geese seriously, it is instead purely… MoreIt's hard to take The Wild Geese seriously, it is instead purely enjoyed as both a nostalgia trip and an example of 'it shouldn't be half as fun as it is'. I say that because of the obvious attempt at trying to give an anti-racist message, making the film acceptable when it is in fact not just racist but homophobic and sexist too. It's a sign of the times for sure. It is both fun and completely ridiculous to watch these aged men act like what have to be the worst mercenaries the world has ever seen. They do a really crap job of it as well, it's pretty laughable throughout even considering its age. It does have some cracking lines in it;
Faulkner: I'm dry when I work.
Sir Edward Matherson: Yes, so I've heard.
Faulkner: There's a separate clause in my contract that says my liver is to be buried separately with honors.
Sir Edward Matherson: I'm not a very humorous man.
Faulkner: So I've noticed.
It would have been a much better film had they just taken it all a little less seriously.
Thor: The Dark World improves on the original vastly, as it needed to… MoreThor: The Dark World improves on the original vastly, as it needed to do. I still don't like Natalie Portman's character much but I can live with it. Apart from there not being enough Jaimie 'Should have been cast as Wonder Woman' Alexander screen time, it was pretty much spot on. The character has really captured the essence of the comic and has improved on it. The final showdown was intelligent and breathtaking, not since the grand finale of Superman 2 have I been more thrilled at the end of a Superhero film. Marvel really are on a roll, I'm a DC man myself and I'm hoping my team will sort themselves out and give them a run for their money (but out of passion rather than financial one-upmanship. Loved that Cameo!
These are my people. I'm a huge Comic geek and attend all the… MoreThese are my people. I'm a huge Comic geek and attend all the conventions. The cosplay is fun, I don't take part in all that and half the time I have no idea what people are doing, talking about or dressed as but, I do love comics and there I can talk to my people and buy stuff I need to complete and keep my happy in my small life. Spurlock captures exactly what the Cons are like and who attends them, Comic-Con is the biggest and ugliest of the lot, I tend to go to smaller ones and ones that are more specific but they're all essentially the same. It's a sad truth about them not being about comics anymore though, something I have found more and more frustrating over the years. It's nice to see a film about something I'm passionate about!
Guarding Tess is labelled a comedy, the problem is that it's not very… MoreGuarding Tess is labelled a comedy, the problem is that it's not very funny. There are funny people in it though which makes this all the more annoying. I was unaware that Austin Pendleton was in it before viewing, so that was a nice surprise, everything else however was rather a disappointment. There wasn't enough character development and not enough time passed for us to really believe in the relationships, making the conclusion a bit half-hearted and everything beforehand a bit tiresome.
The most outrageous, over the top and under-praised musical of all… MoreThe most outrageous, over the top and under-praised musical of all time. It is 1970's British Rock and Roll in a film, as flamboyant as you'd expect from Ken Russell (a genius) and musically brilliant as you'd expect from the Who (plus all other supporting talents). Most films have one or two memorable scenes, this has about ten. Kieth Moon 'Fiddling about', Elton John's Pinball Wizard in 7ft tall DM Boots, Ann-Margret swimming around her bedroom in baked beans, Tina Turner as a Acid-trip prostitute. Honestly, what have I listed that isn't to like? It's amazing and one of the best Musicals/British films of all time.
I was going to start my review by making comment that Betty Grable… MoreI was going to start my review by making comment that Betty Grable brings the comedy, Marilyn Monroe brings the beauty and that Lauren Bacall brings the performance but that really wouldn't be fair. All three are beautiful, all three bring brilliant performances and all three are funny, albeit in three very different ways. The script is witty and sharp, only heightened by the brilliant delivery. It's a classic, a bit dated but still fantastic.