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Name Jordan Lowe
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Here are movie reviews, straight from the Asylum.

Unbiased. Unedited. Unsolicited.

And remember, it's a sliding scale here. I don't judge "Chinatown" on the same merits as "Big Trouble in Little China," even though I give them the same number of stars. My main criteria is this: does the movie accomplish what it is trying to do? Now on to the reviews, and let the debates begin.
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Jordan's Favorite Movies

The Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai) 1. The Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai) Unrated 5.0 Stars
The greatest film ever made. Period. Even clocking in at just under 4 hours, it is perfectly paced. There isn't a single minute that feels extraneous. The cinematography adds an epic beauty and even the sound is mixed in a way to create tension and drama. The acting is equal parts subdued and explosive. Toshiro Mifune is a force of nature at his best here, turning on a dime from harmless clown to sulking wannabe to merciless warrior. Humor and sadness. Victory and defeat. War and peace. Life and death. "The Seven Samurai" embodies it all, unsurpassed as the highest achievement in film history.
Planet of the Apes 2. Planet of the Apes PG 5.0 Stars
The best sci-fi has always been allegorical, using fantasy to say something about our society. And make no mistake, this is the best sci-fi ever put on film. Completely timeless, its take on politics, religion, technology, class structure and human rights are as poignant today as they were in 1968. Add that depth to the terrific makeup and costumes, Charlton Heston at his grizzled, misanthropic best, some of the most quotable lines ever written and a Rod Serling twist... and you get one of my favorite movies of all time.
Taxi Driver 3. Taxi Driver R 5.0 Stars
"...partly truth, partly fiction. A walking contradiction." I can't honestly put into words why this movie is so powerful. It goes beyond words, into a primal sense of loneliness and isolation. The suffocating disconnect felt between modern man and his surroundings has never been more convincingly explored. Ignore the idiot frat boys with posters of Travis and his guns. This film doesn't celebrate violence. It is about "God's lonely man," where the inevitable bloodbath is a sad, scary and ultimately pathetic last grasp at control of a wasted life. A film masterpiece I never get tired of watching.
Fight Club 4. Fight Club R 5.0 Stars
Saying that this is the most important film of my generation feels like I'm overstating it a bit. But I can't think of anything that more perfectly captures who we are as a society at the turn of the new century like "Fight Club" does. Shocking violence, naked abs and a switcheroo twist ending distract lazy viewers from the movie's real message. Or it's just a hard pill to swallow in our self-improvement-obsessed culture, where every self-help guru and ad agency does its best to make you feel incomplete so it can sell you something to fill what's missing. "Fight Club" spits in their face and says "never be complete. Stop being perfect. Let's evolve, let the chips fall where they may." And I say amen.
Bottle Rocket 5. Bottle Rocket R 5.0 Stars
Is it possible that the funniest film ever made doesn't have a single punchline? Don't expect big jokes or broad situations. This is a movie of the highest subtlety and the most nuanced of character. As such, it only improves the more times you view it. Wes Anderson's eye for detail and the brilliant, true-to-life performances of the actors involved mesh to create a comedy masterpiece.
Tremors 6. Tremors PG-13 5.0 Stars
I make no apologies. This is one of my favorite films of all time. It is a flawless monster movie, immanently quotable, with a terrific ensemble cast and a sense of humor. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward play the bickering, reluctant heroes to perfection and Michael Gross gives a tour de force as right-wing gun nut Burt. I watched this almost daily as a kid and still can't change the channel when I see it on. It taught me that no disagreement is so serious that it can't be solved with rock, paper, scissors and no matter what, "stay on them residual boulders!"

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