All Ratings for Andy Siems (apostleX)

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2730 ratings
186 reviews
3.03 average
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Movie Rating Review Date   Your Rating Match
The Heartbreak Kid - R It's hard to find much "comedy" in this comedy. The role of Lyla was obviously written for Cameron Diaz and they just abused poor Malin Akerman as a surrogate. Anytime that Jerry Stiller and Carlos Mencia are on screen you want to bash your head with a frying pan. It had some fun moments, but very few. Michelle Monaghan is wonderful, as she always seems to be... but she's sadly wasted in this tepid affair. The only shinning moments were true "gross-out" Ferrelly Brother moments, which felt strangely out of place in this mainstream romantic comedy mess. Pretty lame effort all around. June 7, 2008  
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Dan in Real Life - PG-13 Middle of the road dramady. Just Fine. OK. No big whoop, but not bad either. I always enjoy Steve Carrell, and here he gets to be a normal guy for a change. Very predictable, by the numbers. June 7, 2008  
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Vantage Point - PG-13 DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB !!!!
Goes waaaaay over the the top into sillyness when a certain agent goes... ROGUE. Head Slap stupid, eye roll dumb. This director should be kicked in the nuts for trying to be Tony Scott all the way to a rip-off Harry Gregson-Williams score. This breaks down at the script stage for trying to be an entire season of 24 in 90 minutes. B-A-D!
June 6, 2008  
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The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - PG Didn't have the heart of the first film, but the battles were simply fantastic in this one. Liked it.. didnt love it, but was much more engrossing than I thought it would be. Tilda Swinton's brief cameo as the White Witch was fantastic. I look forward to this series continuing. June 2, 2008  
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Semi-Pro - R Good, honest laughs here. It gets the Will Ferrell pass. I enjoyed it. June 1, 2008  
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Jumper - PG-13 Suprise. I kinda dug this. Its all surface chase, but for that kinda thing it's done well and kept me interested. The film obviously leaves everything open so more of the holes can be filled later in sequels. Its always risky to make a part 1 of a series that may or may not get sequel status. I certainly would like those holes filled in with more info. about Jumpers and Paladins, but who knows if we will ever see that. As a single film it feels incomplete but still interesting good sci-fi. May 28, 2008  
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National Treasure: Book of Secrets - PG A fun ride destroyed by totally absurdity. The Lost City of Gold inside of Mount....? You gotta be freaking kidding me. HAs potential but after a few head slap silly moments it starts to wear on you. Sadly though.. BETTER than Indy 4. May 26, 2008  
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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG-13 It breaks my heart to say this but I really hated this sequel. I LOVE Indiana Jones, but this silly farce was boring, pointless and sadly moronic at many turns. Surviving over Huge waterfalls , fighting monkeys and CGI Ants took all the wind out of any possible joy that can be had. I could go on and on.. but I just want to ignore it all together. NEVER HAPPENED. May 23, 2008  
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Iron Man - PG-13 The Strongest Marvel Property since Spiderman 2 and probably one of the strongest Superhero movies Ive seen in a long time. DOwny Jr. is fantastic and perfect as Tony Stark. He plays him with charm, wit and passion. Fantastic and virtually seamless CGI. It feels a little rushed sometimes and has trouble at giving you a sense of time passage, but thats a minor issue. This is a great Popcorn Summertime romp. Why don't all summer seasons start this promising. Fun stuff!! May 18, 2008  
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The Midnight Meat Train - R May 18, 2008  
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Speed Racer - PG OH HEEELLLLLLZZZ YES !!!!!!!
A lot of people are NOT gonna like this movie.. not me. I LOVED IT !!! It made me feel like I was 10 years old riding the biggest, baddest rollercoaster on planet SATURN. Strap in, relax and Enjoy the adrenaline pump. This is pure action thrill ride fun !!
May 9, 2008  
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Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - R May 4, 2008  
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What Happens in Vegas - PG-13 May 4, 2008  
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Made of Honor - PG-13 May 4, 2008  
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Son of Rambow - PG-13 May 4, 2008  
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13 Going on 30 (Suddenly 30) - PG-13 This dumb and predictable chick flick reminded me of how much I love Jennifer Garner. It's a sweet little romp but really just the chick version of BIG and it really only lives from Garner's charm and appeal. I miss you SYDNEY BRISTOW!! April 26, 2008  
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Diary of the Dead - R Eye roll, head slap MORONIC. One of the worst Zombie films made in history. IS Romero allowed to make anything except for Zombie films anymore? PLEASE make anything but this SLOG again. Some of the worst dialouge and acting I've seen in a very long time. April 26, 2008  
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Jacob - Unrated April 23, 2008  
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88 Minutes - R April 21, 2008  
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Street Kings - R April 21, 2008  
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Prom Night - PG-13 April 21, 2008  
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Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay - R April 21, 2008  
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I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With - Unrated Meh. I had a few laughs and felt for the main character, but in the end it just felt kinda hollow. Did I miss something? April 21, 2008  
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The Year of the Yao - PG Fantastic Doc. on a great subject. Seeing Yao Ming's first season in the NBA and in America is fascinating. The cultural shifts that plagued him in the beginning eventually gave way as he become a Worldwide phenom and "unofficial" Ambassador between the West and China. The most interesting part of the doc. is the relationship between Yao's young/rookie interpretor, Colin Pine, and himself. Setting up 2 young rookie's together was either a stroke of genius or a divine accident, either way it is the heart of the film. OF COURSE, it doesn't at all hurt that I live in Houston. I think this film works so well that it would even be of interest to Non NBA fans as well. Very Nice. YAO! April 16, 2008  
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Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope - PG April 15, 2008  
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