| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Eraserhead - Unrated |
DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE, unless you're a BIG David Lynch fan. For those who remember your dreams this movie will be a frightening experience of the most potent psychedelic features in the darkest corners of your mind. For those with no recollection of your dreams this movie is a short reminder of what causes the cold sweats, setting your mind into a state of depressive consciousness. For those looking for answers, or reasoning behind your dreams, than the answer may lie here. Eraserhead is an emotionally frightening nightmare to say the least. It's a dream simply recorded on film, just as bleak and cold as any nightmare you may really have. It's a shattering, lonely, and sometimes repulsive exercise for our subconscious thinking. Before the creation of Eraserhead, David Lynch had a dream. This is what his dream was.
I guess it's safe to say we all share at least one thing in common. If not for our personality, religion, or upbringing...than what about our dreams? Any interpretation of this film is correct. It relies on our own personal perceivability. What do our inner demons tell us? Is there life in fantasy, and does it really matter? Are there living, breating people, with a pulse and a heartbeat in our dream state? And when we wake up does someone, like our character Eraserhead, impatiently wait for us to return? This movie is weird, yes. But what dreams aren't? Believe what you will, and make sense of what you want. Eraserhead is a movie in a cold, and scary world. A dimension of improbable madness. A parallel universe of distortion and paranoia...but it's a world we might all share. It's a morbid, strangely beautiful, landscape of horror. It has the texture of death itself, but yet it's still very much alive. It's a work of pure genius. Dream while awake. Watch Eraserhead! 
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November 7, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Orphan - R |
The horror genre is really at it's rise again. Let's just hope it stays this way and grow as it did in the mid 90's, before it fell apart partially due to that PG-13 crap that was help started by The Sixth Sense. Starting from a little more than a year ago, horror's making a comeback in a major way, simply for the fact that it's sticking to it's traditional rules again. And for the sayers who complain consistently saying that "you don't need "gore" to be scary", well, I couldn't agree with you more. No argument there, this debate is tossed out the window. Shit, you don't even need a drop of blood to be scary. But come on people! This is one subject I'll debate with you till the day I die. And "Orphan" being a great example, along with many other great horror films, one good mention being "The Shining", we need "R" ratings for this type of genre, period. In order to be scared you need to be convinced first, and how so if no one such as uses the "F" word one single time. No realism in the dialogue? Not even a "fuck" or "shit" word? Hell, I feel safe now! No boundaries can be pushed to extremes, not even the hope of so, knowing it's already a PG-13 horror film. And because of no fearing "realism", ALL worries to the side...Get what I'm saying? This is real life people. And life is scary. To make a horror film scary, or even slightly intense, it needs to be "real" as well.
"It's one of the most disgusting developments in the last few years; the whole notion of a PG-13 horror movie to me is a contradiction in terms. It's like having a XXX Disney picture. It doesn't work. To me, you don't have to throw blood around in every scene, but there has to be a sense, and this is not my quote, it's Wes Craven's quote. Wes says that, When you go into a horror movie, you need to feel that you're in the hands of a madman. Now what madman makes a PG-13 picture, right? Your horror-movie madman doesn't neaten up all the edges and make it all nice for mommy. They [studios] do it because they want to bring in younger audiences and make more money. But they don't make better movies." - Clive Barker Back to the Orphan. What a fantastic horror film this was! The tension never let's up, and the scenes keep getting better and better, almost like having 25 short, separate, tense horror films. What I love about Jaume Collet-Serra, director of the very much underrated "House of Wax", is he knows how to build up his characters, so much, that we pertain to a level of understating so strong of he or she's underlying emotions. Think about it. It took about 45 minutes for House of Wax to start unraveling it's wrath of terror. And why? Because Jaume Collet-Serra lets us study his characters first, and equants them to us on a certain level where we can make the right judgment when their emotions matter most. Same here with the Orphan. And that's what I call "good filmaking" my friends. Character development first...the obsticals later. Orphan is smart, witty, intense, and occasionally funny. A horror movie that's done right! We're even treated with a great, original twist in the end, one you probably won't see coming. It's a fun thrill ride, and Esther, flawlessly and strongly performed by the young, and undenyingly talented Isabelle Fuhrman, will probably go down as one of the most psychopathic, crazy bithes in horror movie history. I highly recommend the Orphan! 
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October 28, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Saw VI - R |
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October 12, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering - Unrated |
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October 10, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Paranormal Activity - R | Horrifying movie. Absolutely horrifying. This movie scared me silly. | October 9, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Trick 'r Treat - R |
This movie is brilliant. Simply brilliant! Trick 'r Treat is my new favorite Halloween themed horror movie, tied with Halloween (1978), although both are two very different movies. Trick 'r Treat is perfect. The best thing to happen to the horror genre in quite some time. I loved it. It's a must see for any true horror fan. It has everything about the "Halloween" tradition to offer, and everything a horror fan could crave. Excellent film! Great atmospheric, spooky fun.
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October 8, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Wolfman - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Descent 2 - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Cabin in the Woods - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Night of the Demons - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Piranha 3-D - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Children - R | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| [Rec] 2 - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Babysitter Wanted - R | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead - Unrated | August 22, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Mum & Dad - Unrated |
Sickening and repulsive low budget horror film. Silly at times, but always disturbing. Takes you deep into the filth and dark corridors in the life of a true psychopathic family. It's sad to imagine that this is how some crazy people really live. Mum & Dad may be a hard movie to stomach, but I loved it! I highly recommend this to true hardcore horror fans.
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August 19, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Dead Snow (Død snø) - Unrated |
Talk about some mean ass zombies! These stenches were pissed, ugly, ferocious and ready to do battle. Amazing makeup jobs on these bastards too. Pretty creepy stuff.
Dead Snow is very smart. I say this because it has the one true ingredient that calls for a very good time. The concept isn't too original, and the script lacks any true wit, with too many misses in the humor department(and by that I mean from dialogue). What carried the film so well, and tickled the funny bone most, was it's excessive use of carnage. Without the gore this film wouldn't be much of anything else. But thank God for that cause it worked in it's favor, and in the end we have ourselves a little bloody masterpiece...well almost. What brings it down a notch or two is the unnecessary use of CGI. Believe me, I have seen worse, but no matter how little it still never tends to intrigue me, in fact CGI has ruined lots of horror films with some serious potential. Dead Snow, thankfully, is a film that hasn't been destroyed by the modern Reaper of technology, which we call computer-generated imagery. The blood, which came off too cartoonish at times, were thrown into quick cuts, or jump cuts, not lingering enough on it's cheap setbacks, feeding us the latex junk-food just in time to satisfy our icky urges. Is it over the top? Yes it is. If it were anything less than that it might've been a dud. As far as performances go, well you won't get the best here if that's what you're looking for, but it's not that bad either. It's pretty much what you'd expect from your average gore flick...with zombies...who are Nazis...eating intestines while snow skiing. Jeeze, and that's pretty much how you sum this up too! lol, Still, it sounds like great fun to me. The script like I said before is nothing special, and story wise, not too original either(maybe in some areas, just not overall). The cinematography is bad ass in this film. This wasn't an "ultra" low budget movie, the film stock is 35 and everything looks so dark and eerie, especially at night...in the dark snow. But when daylight hits, BAMN! Time to paint the snow red! Blood and guts everywhere. You'll love it, just keep an open mind. Even with all it's flaws it never fails to entertain. And isn't that the point? And although not the greatest horror film, not even close, it still deserves a highly dedicated, large audience of horror fans everywhere. And to me that means just enough. As silly and goofy as it is, I still highly recommend this film! 
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July 10, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan - R | July 8, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Laid to Rest - R |
Robert Hall, director of Laid to Rest, sure worked wonders with a budget of this kind. Even for being shot on digital, the cinematography was tight. The lighting was top-notch, everything so dark, and atmospherically creepy. I'm not sure if this film was blown to 16mm in post, but in many aspects it sure as hell looked that way, and even 35 in some parts(especially near the end inside the grocery store). I was also a fan of Robert Hall's previous film, "Lightning Bug", which is completely different from Laid to Rest, but it seems his budget decreased immensely this time around, and although Lightning Bug was low budget as well, production value just seemed to be lacking in comparison. And that's no complaint on my part at all, but someone please give this guy a chunk of change quickly! I'm sure any production company would be in good hands with a man as quite as talented as this.
The acting here was as good as it could've been. And I'm surprised the cast took this movie as seriously as they did. This could have easily been another cheap hack job, given it's budget and predictable storyline, but on the contrary everything was handled very professionally. The director must have been very passionate about his work, and good performances only come from good direction, which most certainly shows in the outcome. Not to say that the performances were fantastic, far from it actually, but it wasn't unbearable, in fact, it was fun and delightful. Not flawless of course, and like most horror films, done on a more cheesy level, but keeps your eyes peeled and not sighing with utter disbelieve. It was decent all round, but given the material that was laid on the table, they did a fantastic job at it. The gore in this movie is ridiculous. Laid to Rest is a bloodbath, with some insanely inventive kills. It was also refreshing to see that they didn't use much CGI at all. They kept this shit old school. My type of horror movie! The only part to my recollection where CG was used full throttle was the scene in the grocery store where oxygen like fluids were pumped into a guy's skull, making his head explode. Sounds delicious doesn't it? Well it is. One CG boo-boo, but no big deal. It looked good enough and this movie was a blood filled, fun, all-out gore fest. The killer himself was badass and I really dug his chrome skull mask. He was unapologetic, smart, quick and violent. I can see them making his character as part of a franchise. Although it was later explained he had some sort of reasoning to his madness, a full motive and back-story were never really offered, and I wish it would have been. Even still, he was one evil maniac. Maybe a few sequels to follow will acquaint us more with this psychopath. I sure hope so, cause I really dug this movie. Even with all it's flaws, it's still fun as hell! I highly recommend Laid to Rest to all die hard horror fans. 
"Laid to Rest is a fast paced, gore drenched slasher that exists solely to show off some truly impressive death effects. God bless it for that." - Upcoming Horror Movies "While Laid to Rest does have it's flaws, it's a horror film that is very entertaining and does have it's fare share of scares and plenty of blood, guts and gore. I had a fun time watching it and I think the majority of horror fans will enjoy this one as well." - The Horror Review "With Laid to Rest he's delivered a movie that is a masterpiece of mayhem and carnage. It's wall-to-wall blood, grue, and good times! Highly recommended!" - Dread Central "Hall pulls out all the stops on what has got to be one of the most violent slasher films in decades. Make no mistakes about it; if you?re looking for cutting edge (literally) brutality then look no further than Rob Hall and his team at Almost Human. These guys are killing it on screen. I almost needed a shower after I was done watching every blood soaked frame of this film." - Bloody-Disgusting "Even if the slightly artsy stuff doesn't thrill you, you can take comfort in the fact that Laid to Rest is actually pretty creepy. And quite impressively gory." - FEARnet "Laid to Rest is a wild ride from start to finish. Delivering more than enough gore to satisfy genre fans and with Hall continuing to show a real talent behind the camera, it represents the kind of visceral thrills which have sadly only too often been missing in horror films of recent years." - Beyond Hollywood |
June 15, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Drag Me to Hell - PG-13 |
Talk about having a fun time at the movies! Drag me to Hell is downright creepy and hilarious. What a fun, scary, and gooey horror flick. This is one of Sam Raimi's best. I seriously hope he continues down the horror route again. I'm sure he's got plenty more tricks up his sleeve. I haven't jumped this much during a movie in quite some time. I highly recommend this film to all true horror fans out there! Great stuff.
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June 10, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Rage - R |
I wonder how much help Robert Kurtzman had while making Wishmaster. I wonder if he even made any decisions while on set at all, and how many Adderalls he had to take to stay awake. It seems this man has a sleeping disorder because it's obvious he fell asleep on set while filming The Rage. Wishmaster was a pretty damn good horror flick, what the hell happened to this guy? It's alright when a director slacks off and makes some bad horror films, but my God, The Rage is unforgivingly atrocious. It's main problem was that it even fails at being cheesy. I like cheese too. But I like the kind that makes me chuckle from silliness, even if it is unintentional. Reason why The Rage was so unfunny, not only because of the childishly dry humor, but because the actors looked ASHAMED! I swear to Christ, watch their eye contact, listen to their lines, and follow their body chemistry. They're fu*king embarrassed to be acting in this pile of horsesh*t. At least if they loosened up more, woke the director up from a slumber, and told him the script really isn't as funny as he thinks it is, the movie might have had a chance. This director doesn't know what "funny" is. No one had ever told him. He's probably a guy who laughs before a joke is even told, and people stare at him like he's nuts. He's in a dimension of lost thoughts and confuzzlement. A real psychopath!
The only decent thing this movie had going for it was the gore. But it was all CG in the worse way possible. Way too fake. Robert Kurtzman probably edited this movie too, only when he fell asleep his head kept hitting the keyboard. I really hope he'll be okay cause this man seems out of control. He's fu*king BONKERS. Robert Kurtzman should write a sorry note to all the actors, and apologize for not knowing what anything means. Even more, he should come clean, drop the crack pipe, and admit he had nothing to do with Wishmaster. Maybe then I'll respect him more. The Rage is beyond horrible. It's not even silly in a good way. And like I said before, I like cheese...just not when it smells like sh*t! 
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June 2, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Splinter - R |
Decent horror film, but also a forgettable one. Not at all scary or intense, wasn't as gory as I hoped it would be, and not much of a back-story at all. What I liked about it were the characters and performances, and I liked the creature effects and the creature's strange abilities it had on the human body(very creative). It seems like they didn't use any CG either from what I can remember. If they used CG, then they did one hell of a job covering it up. I'm not a big fan of CG, and I like how this movie kept it old school. The movie moved along quickly as well, and it never became boring. And damn was this a short movie! But that's about it. I wish there was more. But for a low budget horror movie, I have to say, this is one of the better ones. Unfortunately though, it's really not a memorable movie either.
For me, it was good for a onetime viewing only. 
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June 2, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Reeker - Unrated |
Fun horror film, although I wish it would've been gorier. It just had the right feel to be an all out gore fest, and I was disappointed how much they shied away from some potentially creative, bad-ass kills. It did however have some standout, creepy moments and plenty of spooky atmosphere. The picture was great and everything had a dark, chilling feel to it. The performances are solid, no complaints there, and although not as smart as it could have been, the script was still creditable but on a more simple level. At times it may have moved at a slower pace, but the characters helped fill any boredom with sly humor and conversation that it never losses it's grip. There's really nothing here that'll make your jaw drop, but you'll certainly have a good time with this one. It's one horror film you shouldn't miss.
"When a lonely highway is inexplicably closed, five students sharing a ride to a party in the desert find themselves trapped at an empty motel. Refusing to let the new circumstances interfere with their fun, they settle in only to be interrupted by odd, haunting visions of severely mutilated travelers. The gruesome sightings may explain the sudden abandonment of the motel and diner, but the appearance of the retiree with a missing wife confirms their worst fears. He too has seen the dying people - victims of a killer, one that has likely taken his wife - a killer trailing a dark force of decay and rot." Dave Payne(director) has a horrible track record, which is why I'm surprised Reeker was as good as it was. It may not be the most original horror film, this theme has been done quite a few times, but not many horror films sprout originality nowadays anyway. I like to think of it this way - If 90 minutes of my evening watching a movie didn't feel like a waste of time because I was too busy having fun with it, than why complain? Being that Reeker was so simple, and at the same time very smart in choice of direction, there's not much I can blame it for in terms of being a complete suck-fest. Could it have been better? Of course they could have pushed the envelope more, improve the eye candy and raise some jolts, but the end result is still satisfying enough to please and make you accept Reeker for what it is. And what it is, is a pretty damn good horror movie. Creepy and entertainingly fun. It's a great movie to watch on a rainy night! 
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June 2, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Pontypool - PG |
The only good part of this movie were the first 10 minutes, and that's because I was sleeping. When I woke up I endured over an hour of unbearable bullshit, the kind that gives you a rash. At one point I wanted to hug the actors and tell them, "It's okay. Not many people will see this movie." I felt bad they signed up for this crap, they seemed like nice people, and I'm sure they didn't know this movie would be an abomination. Sadly I don't know them on a personal level, so I'll just have to pray for them. Maybe they were forced into signing a contract at gunpoint by the executive producer. Another thing, the actors weren't even acting, they were half asleep like I was. Or at least it looked that way. I swear to God, it didn't seem like they were even trying, they dragged themselves along and seemed sluggish, putting no amount of energy in their performances. I think the dialogue was all improv too, because the director probably replaced the script with "Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea". And this might have worked, only if the actors actually knew the camera was rolling. Even writing a review about this movie is making me depressed. I feel like I'm in a black hole. I have sunk into catatonia and I need a bath. Pontypool will do this to you. It's rough...It's mean...
It's a shit bomb. 
"What's a zombie movie without zombies? A dull zombie movie." - New York Post |
June 1, 2009 | N/A |
890 ratings
126 reviews
