| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Hottie and the Nottie - PG-13 | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Southland Tales - R |
"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." -Macbeth, Act V, Scene V. As always, the Bard puts it better than I ever could, but that isn't really enough for me. You know I can't just give a one line summation of any movie I see, even a really bad movie must receive a small essay from me, so here we go again... With Richard Kelly's debut cult hit, Donnie Darko, he juxtaposed the mundane with the fantastical and nightmarish to create something jarring but also familiar, an almost dream-like state of being. The end of the universe, time travel, ghosts from the future intertwined with suburban banality, middle class family dysfunction and teen angst. The opening sequence of Southland Tales illicits a similar feeling, the mundane and the nightmarish; a home video at a backyard birthday party, everything is seemingly normal, average but pleasant - a white flash - all eyes turn to the horizon, a mushroom cloud rises up. A chilling and powerful image, evoking all the right feelings of dread in the viewer and had this scene existed in a different movie it would be a potent sign of things to come, unfortunately this movie descends into a cartoonish, slapdash mess almost immediately after, squandering any good will generated by the preliminary minutes of the film. A montage begins detailing the events of WW3 with stills likely taken from Richard Kelly's Southland Tales prequel graphic novels, apparently vital in understanding the film. I can't comment on that, personally, but I found the use of comic art pretty cheap and lazy, and I also believe that if you are required to do research beyond the realm of the film in order to fully understand the piece then the writer and director have failed (Richard Kelly being both in this case). If you cannot communicate your ideas and establish a universe for the film to exist in within the film, then you have made a bad film. Supplemental material should complement the existing material, add depth and flavour to it, it should not be a necessity. I digress, and we rightfully return to the film itself. Justin Timberlake (a far cry from his rather entertaining and likable performance in Alpha Dog) narrates, telling us about the retaliatory nuclear strikes against the middle-east and North Korea, the struggle for oil, alternative fuel sources becoming a lucrative commodity in this bleak war-torn future. The Republicans win the '08 election. It is clear this is a movie with something to say, it strives to be the war cry of a generation, the great movie that defined the dissenting voice of our times. This generations Dr Strangelove, by way of Philip K Dick and David Lynch. Bold ambitions, but ambition does not equal quality. There is little point in explaining the story here, there is not much to comment on and simply putting it into words wouldn't make any sense. The scenes are all disjointed, characters arrive and instantly spout inane dialogue that feigns profundity or they just don't say anything interesting at all. Every scene is a Russian roulette of gibberish and banality. This is the case throughout every scene of the film, there is no break from it, it simply tries too hard to be weird and cryptic and profound and surreal. It just doesn't work. Lynch and Dick at their weirdest knew to keep the characters grounded in some level of reality, a sense of familiarity where you could believe that these characters could live in such a world. There is nothing like that here, none of the characters behave like real people, they are merely cyphers for Kelly's pseudo-intellectual ramblings, much like every single character encountered in the Matrix sequels. If I were to describe one scene from this film, you would ask yourself, "What kind of story could this possibly belong to?", and you would have to wonder at the kind of genius work where it could belong and could make sense and could be entertaining and you could buy into it entirely... This is not that movie. These scenes do not work. I get what he was trying to do, so it is not a case of me "not getting it" (a shield the film's baffling number of defenders will no doubt wield often), there is simply precious little to "get" and even less to find interesting about what is eventually "got." Or "gotten," I don't know. The storyline was a mess, while at its core there is an easy to understand storyline it is simply too ludicrous and ham-fisted to really find compelling and this petty, silly central storyline is surrounded by events and ideas and dialogue that all fail to make any sense on a quite monumental level. Richard Kelly seems like a man with grand ambitions and a vision that errs on the fantastic (fantastic in terms of tone and scope, not quality, as evidenced in this film) but he lacks the fundamentals necessary to put those ideas together into a coherent form, or to even structure those strong, sometimes confusing ideas within an entertaining experience; see Twelve Monkeys to see it done well. Richard Kelly can clearly shoot a great scene, he has a keen eye for a striking visual and the opening sequence is evidence of that and there are other examples throughout. Richard Kelly can also write good solid dialogue, but you will not see any of that here, see Donnie Darko for that. Richard Kelly can also work with actors, this is the man that turned Jake Gylenhaal into a movie star. He takes unconventional casting choices and squeezes out brave and interesting performances from them; The Rock (fuck what he says, he'll always be The Rock to me and there's nothing wrong with that!) and Sarah Michelle Gellar both give their best performances to date, not that this is saying much considering their respective career choices but they show the potential each actor possesses if they would just choose their acting gigs more wisely. Unfortunately despite great performances I still would struggle to call this one of those wise choice. Gellar is wonderful as porn star turned media icon, Krysta Now. Of all the characters and all the satirical barbs this film has to offer, hers is the most successful. It may be the only thing about the movie that works. Her character and her place in the world and what that says about society is close to the bone and therefore it is one of the few things that really succeeds in this film as a satire, or indeed as anything. I loved every scene she was in, it's probably her best role since Buffy. Unfortunately the film is full of these great little ideas and moments loaded with potential, the real problem is that these ideas are lost in a sea of other ideas. Ideas that just don't connect or don't feel complete or don't - fucking - work. As a result the good ideas simply cannot touch and are just floating around with the bad ideas. Richard Kelly has tried to do too much in one film and it falls flat. It's like he feared he was told he could only make one more film and he just rushed all the ideas in his head into one screenplay with no filter for quality control or relevance. Example: One of the most pointless and jarring sequences in the movie, the 'musical number' where Justin Timberlake mouths along to The Killers "All These Things That I Done" has absolutely no place in the movie, I fail to see how it fits in with the rest of the film thematically or even tonally. I am sure blood splattered, scarred Justin Timberlake mouthing along to a Killers song seemed really edgy and subversive at the time but that doesn't mean it should be in a film. Yet it is actually one of the least bizarre and most entertaining scenes in the film because on it's own merits, on some level, it makes sense. It just doesn't make sense in this movie. Nothing makes sense in this movie. All things considered: I still cannot wait to see Kelly's next project, The Box, based on a 1980s Twilight Zone episode "Button, Button". A linear, focused narrative is just what he needs right now because this movie is a clear sign of a rookie director who got drunk on his own hype. Nobody will let him have this much freedom again for a while, and I think for the time being that is probably a good thing, because I can't think of a director who hasn't totally fucked up before after being given too much freedom. If nothing else this film will be a strong lesson for Kelly to use his talents more sparingly. I can't imagine what a clusterfuck the original edit was that got booed at Cannes, but I can see Kelly has wasted way too much time and money trying to fix this absolute disaster. I'm just glad he has finally finished tooling around in the engine room of the Titanic because the man is clearly very talented, he has a great eye as a director and can write good dialogue, but there was just no saving Southland Tales. He tried something different and it didn't work, for that alone I admire him but it is hard to support the guy after wasting so much time, energy and resources on something that fails to work on almost every level. Donnie Darko, the theatrical cut, was more of a mood piece than an actual movie with solid, compelling ideas. It was a cinematic rorschach test. You watched it and took something personal away from it. Every person I spoke to would have a different sense of what the film was about and what it all meant, and that was the movies success, the sly, suggestive but witty and grounded dialogue and keen eye of the writer/director helped. Listening to the director commentary for Donnie Darko, Kelly struggled to articulate what the movie meant, he struggled to explain the details. Richard Kelly did not understand his own film, and as a result the Director's Cut was a monumental disaster. He attempted to explain something he didn't understand and as a result he struggled to put these ideas into the film in a way that was both logical and entertaining. It didn't work. The film feels much like that but lacking that heart, charm and sense of focus that Donnie Darko ultimately had. Despite the convoluted nature of its science fiction elements, it was a movie with a strong sense of direction and it arrived at its intended destination. Southland Tales feels like a movie with too much going on and not enough of it works to make the destination worth arriving at; there is a good, logical but weird movie hiding inside here somewhere but it's merely a slither. It's not enough to save with a director's cut, Kelly has had enough chances to re-cut this film and as my father would say, "You can't polish a turd," you can try but you'll just make a mess. The version of Southland Tales we find ourselves with is that mess. |
December 13, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Room - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - PG | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Royal Tenenbaums - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Hotel Chevalier - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Rushmore - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Bottle Rocket - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Fantastic Mr. Fox - PG | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Terminator 2: Judgment Day - R | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (Piranha II: Flying Killers) - R | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Aliens - R |
Arguably one of the greatest sequels ever made. While Alien set the standard for not just sci-fi horror movies, but horror movies to follow, Aliens sets the precedent for the big, badass action movie. The big guns vs. big monsters genre. If that were even a genre? and it should be. This movie expands the Alien universe, continuing that worn down, "lived in", rough around the edges aesthetic that was established in Alien. It's set further along the timeline than the original (thanks to hypersleep) and so things are a little different, a little more advanced but things still feel like they exist on the same timeline. You can see where the seeds of Alien's tech and architecture have blossomed into something different. It advances and develops the universe of the human colonists in the universe in a natural way. It also explores the hierarchy of the xenomorphs in far more detail, creating something organized, logical and chilling. It may remove some of the mystique behind the creatures, but the idea that they have such a methodical power structure makes them disturbing in a different way, the different breeds of alien are visually fascinating with the Alien Queen being the boldest and most exciting design of the film. The world of the xenomorphs becomes something epic in this movie, it expands in the same way the human world has. Most importantly, however, the aliens are still terrifying creatures. Relentless, unstoppable weapons of destruction and what better way to show this than to have them square up against a collective of mankind?s own weapons of destruction; the Colonial Marines. These guys helped define many young boys childhoods during the late 80s and early 90s, I remember during breaks in the playground of primary school, me and my friends would play "Aliens" and at the time we would all fight over who got to be Hicks. It's understandable, Michael Biehn was a poster boy for the stoic action hero figure in the 80s (he banged Sarah Connor before she got all mannish, for instance), but he wasn't the only great iconic character on display within the Marines. The older I got the more I grew to love and appreciate Bill Paxton's Hudson. This man was a realist, he saw the situation they were in and he reacted like any rational human being would: He shat his pants to bursting point. Every line of dialogue that poured out of Paxton's mouth was pure quotable gold, every character got to utter at least one memorable quote during the movies runtime but Hudson got an entire scripts worth. Apone is the quintessential hardass Sarge, he became an archetype for all future sci-fi war movies and was probably responsible for any boosts in cigar sales during the last half of the 1980s. At the end of the day, though, whichever character you were allocated in the playground re-enactments of sci-fi cinema's greatest bloodbaths, you were still playing a legendary badass with a gun so large it would make Freud do a spittake. I say this because I would sometimes be made to play Vasquez. Hey, she had the biggest gun of them all, so fuck you. The Alien series is as much about Ripley as it is about the aliens and this movie gave Ripley more depth and more heart, it expanded her character and allowed her to grow and a big contribution to that was the presence of Newt. Newt was an emotional catalyst for Ripley, she was a surrogate daughter figure for Ripley who lived her life and died whilst Ripley was in hyper sleep, and Ripley transfers all her lost feelings and all the moments she could never have with her child onto Newt. Sigourney Weaver gave a great, visceral performance and one of the real highlight of the entire series. If you don't believe me then say hello to that Oscar nomination she received for this movie. An Oscar nomination for a sci-fi action sequel. Admit it, that's impressive. Ripley loved Newt and was drawn to protect her and this maternal instinct lead us to witness one of cinemas greatest face-offs: Ripley in the Cargo Loader Exoskeleton Vs. The Alien Queen. "Get away from her, you bitch." Fuck. Yes. Incidentally one of the reasons I resent Scream 2 is because Randy (our beloved film geek extraordinaire) has the audacity to correct another film student and say the real line is "Stay away from her, you bitch" and nobody calls him out on his fallacy. Randy, you broke my heart that day, I'm glad you got stabbed to death in a van. |
December 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Titanic - PG-13 | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Hard Eight (Sydney) - R | December 10, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Blind Side - PG-13 | While it might seem cliche, the film never hits a false note, being heartfelt, uplifting but never phoney. Sandra Bullock is firing on all cylinders, capping off her big comeback year with a touching, sweet and surprisingly funny crowd pleaser. It's 'out of nowhere' success story at the box office reflects the surprise success of it's gentle giant protagonist who turned into an unstoppable juggernaut, and in both cases it's a success that is well earned. | December 9, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Jackie Brown - R | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Reservoir Dogs - R | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Pulp Fiction - R | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead - R | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Invictus - PG-13 | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| A Single Man - R | December 9, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Rolling Thunder - R | December 8, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Blue Collar - R |
Opening with a mechanical, pounding beat - the repetetive sound of the factory line - fused with the soul of a bluesy harmonica, Blue Collar pulls us into the world of an ailing, bitter working class like we were one of so many pieces of moulded steel moving down the conveyor line. A gritty, ugly, socially and morally complex 70s drama. It could only be Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver). Filled with excellent, layered performances from Harvey Keitel, Yaphet Kotto & Richard Pryor but make no mistake, this may star a titan of laughs but it's no comedy. There are laughs to be found, the rapport between these three blue collar pals is funny, crude and naturalistic, but at it's heart Blue Collar is a violent, angry, morally-fractured tale about union corruption and economic hardship, and finds itself heading to places you wouldn't expect. One fascinating insight, delivered by none other than Patton Oswalt (whose glowing recommendation is what lead me to this film); the men of Blue Collar work in an automobile factory, building yellow taxi cabs, the very same cabs one Travis Bickle once rode through the streets of New York. Their hate and resentment and betrayal fused into the very framework of these vehicles, like they are the stablemen who tend to the horse for Death himself. A great, forgotten gem of 1970s cinema and a confident, strong directorial debut for writer Paul Schrader. |
December 8, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Rocky - PG |
The Oscar winning Rocky is a film about the loser in all of us, but speaks to the winner hidden beneath it. Rocky Balboa is a natural born failure, he's not too bright, he's not very attractive, he's got no prospects, a shitty job, and nobody respects him. Beneath all of that fail is a soul that is wise, but not eloquent enough to convey it, compassionate but not experienced enough to express it, a fighter but not good enough to be a champion. What he lacks in just about everything, he makes up for in spirit, Rocky is a man who keeps forging ahead no matter how many times the world pushes him back. This is the key to Rocky's success, as a film, it appeals to the optimist in everyone. Stallone gave, far and away, his best work as both a writer and an actor with this movie. He poured his heart and soul into it. A hungry artist will always produce their best work because that simply have to - Stallone wrote Rocky in a room with blacked out windows and barely a morsel of food to go on his plate, simply to force himself to produce something memorable. In doing so Stallone created a film that is both deeply personal but a rousing crowd pleaser because it feels personal to all of us. The script shines in it's eloquent simplicity. Rocky Balboa became an icon of cinema because it's impossible to hate him, he's one of us. We all feel like Rocky from time to time, beat down and counted out, and we don't always want to get back up again but Rocky shows us there's something to be found in never giving up. Adrian (played by the wonderful Talia Shire) is another of life's losers. Put upon by her bully of an older brother, Paulie (played by the marvellous Burt Young), she's timid and weak. She has no dreams or aspirations because she has never been allowed to have them, but she's a good soul, a kind and perceptive. Paulie is another kind of loser, bitter and domineering, he lashes out at the world because he feels it owes him. This is a trait that carries through many of the Rocky films, but we do see Paulie's softer side come through, and we see that he can be a good friend when his weak sense of character does not get the better of him. Burgess Meredith, naturally, bristles as the ever-yelling coach, Mickey. His effortless work keeps Stallone on his toes and no doubt helped bring out the best in him, even when they weren't on screen together. Carl Weathers was at his best here (other than perhaps Arrested Development) as the arrogant showboat, Apollo Creed, the polar opposite to the humble loser of Rocky Balboa. Apollo is the epitome of the American Dream, the self-made man, the success story. Pride, at the expense of humility. While he outclasses Rocky in almost every respect, he lacks the one thing Rocky has, the fighter's heart. He's a winner, so he has no urge to try harder. Rocky is a loser, and always tries. Apollo has access to the best training equipment man can buy, but his hubris keeps him from putting in the extra mile before the fight. Rocky is a poor boy from Philly and has to improvise every step of the way, bashing the hell out of racks of beef in a meat processing plant, running tirelessly through his home streets, he's the humble, proud son of Philadelphia. He doesn't stand a chance in Hell of winning, but he's going to give it all he's got anyway. That's what makes Rocky such a wonderful movie, it shows us the pride in trying. The fight scene may play out as clumsy and a little cartoon-like now, but the two warring sides imbue the fight with so much personality that you can forgive the unfathomably unrealistic lack of blocking on display (seriously, these guys take it to the face with more frequency than a gangbang porn starlet). Rocky is a film with so much heart and charm that you often forget that it ends with Rocky losing, because running the distance against a superior fighter is Rocky's real triumph. A triumph so profoundly felt in the film's beautifully realized final moments that it feels more satisfying than any KO, TKO or Decision victory could have possibly felt. It celebrates the people who try, and they are not necessarily always the ones to succeed. As a cinephile I should be resentful that a crowd pleasing, quasi-blockbuster like Rocky beat out classics such as Taxi Driver, All The President's Men and Network to the Best Picture Oscar, but in terms of just how dizzyingly wonderful this movie leaves me feeling at the end, I simply cannot argue with the Academy on this one. It's the sole defiant display of hope, against what was a tidal tidal wave of pessimism, cynicism and anger, and it stood it's ground and won. Somewhat like Rocky himself. |
December 8, 2009 | N/A |
3076 ratings
218 reviews
