| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Hills Have Eyes II (The Hills Have Eyes 2) - R |
All I really want to say is that the gore was "Lush!" I can't really think of any other reason to watch this but, then again, if you aren't into gore then this isn't the kind of film for you in the first place. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course, it's a sequel to a remake and the title makes things as confusing as hell. The original "Hills Have Eyes 2" was completely crap though so perhaps it's better to think of this as the replacement. Anyway, I loved the gore, wasn't interested in the acting or characterisation, and found the soldiery stuff to be totally unconvincing. Having said that, the action scenes were great, the jump scares worked and, yet again, although it's not scary to anybody over the age of 13, it was quite a decent try at getting the "Hills" franchise back on track. I have no idea why they filmed it in Morocco using equipment from London or why KNB only admit to doing the make-up effects rather than all the practical effects. It all looks like KNB work anyway... and it's lush! This was much better than the first remake and I'm now quite looking forward to "The Hills Have Eyes III". |
January 11, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Flock - R |
I'm going to be lenient about "The Flock". It's the kind of thing that fans of C.S.I. will get a kick out of but horror fans will just shrug at. Apart from jittery edits and the grainy look that far too many films have lately, it isn't filmed too badly. At least the camera stayed still enough for it to be watchable even if the shot framing itself sometimes also left a lot to be desired. I'm not a fan of Richard Gere though so his performance was wasted on me. He is just all wrong for the part but is slightly more suited to it than Claire Danes who doesn't really have the experience to make her role credible at all. The story is pretty lightweight too. It's more or less "Se7en" but with sex offenders instead of serial killers and social workers instead of cops. There are a couple of good moments which are reminiscent of "Dirty Harry" but the gory scenes (which I was looking forward to) are quite weak. You don't really get to see anything too visceral which is a shame. KaDee Strickland is quite good as the psychotic Viola though. She was surprisingly sexy later on too. Avril Lavigne also has a very small role which will please the kiddies but it was hardly all that memorable. The weaknesses in the script and the ludicrousness of Richard Gere's character started to grate on me after a while so I really can't rate it any higher than I have. |
January 11, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Invasion - PG-13 |
I lost my original review of this and so had to watch it again. I'm glad I did too as this wasn't a bad movie at all really. Yes, it's a PG-13 remake of a remake but I'd rather think of it as a more action packed update. People turning into plants (which I always found a bit bizarre) is hinted at later in the film but the story has changed somewhat to make the transformations more akin to a virus. Everything is filmed well and there is a good fast pace even though it's quite long at 99 minutes. I probably could have lived without the moral pontification of three specific scenes but Nicole Kidman looks incredibly beautiful in it. You'd never guess that she was 87 in real life. Her acting performance is pretty damn good as usual too. I even liked Daniel Craig in this though I loathed him as James Bond. He's growing on me as an actor. The whole thing was quite refreshing. I think I hated it the first time and fell asleep more times than Nicole Kidman tried to but, compared to the rubbish that has come out since, this was one of the better science fiction films of 2007. I do actually recommend that you see this. |
January 10, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - R |
Probably the most embarrassing thing, I've ever seen. There were no similarities to the "real" story of Sweeney Todd whatsoever other than the names and locations. This is the crappy Stephen Sondheim reworking of the urban legend with love stories and a revenge motif mixed in. It had awful singing, terrible "music", very poor acting (when there was any acting), and it all looked horrible. I hate musicals anyway but this had the kind of music that wouldn't be out of place in the improv singing section of "Whose Line is it Anyway?". It was that bad. It was extremely amateur and seemed like it was knocked together in about 30 seconds. There were no memorable songs and the lines might as well have been spoken. The dodgy "cockney" accents made a lot of the words of the songs unintelligible especially when the notes were drawn out. It's a film that definitely needs subtitles. As for the gore that some people rave about, well I've seen better in a low budget independent horror film than in this fiasco. It's not quite as cartoonish as "Kill Bill" but it is still completely unrealistic. I wish that I could give this an even lower mark than I have. It sucked! Tim Burton should be ashamed of himself. |
January 7, 2008 | N/A | |||
| 30 Days of Night - R |
After all the hype surrounding "30 Days of Night", I was expecting it to at least be scary. It wasn't. It was reasonably gory in places though so it wasn't a total waste as a horror film. But it did lack suspense. The few moments where there could have been suspense were rushed and the "vampires" didn't really have any stealthiness about them that could have been used to rectify matters in the first place. I really didn't like these animalistic vampires or their Kilingon language. They were just on the wrong side of pointless and exuded about as much menace as rabid gerbils. In fact, since most of them had severely rat like faces, they might well have actually been rabid gerbils. The middle section of this film was also far too slow. I spent most of the film looking at Melissa George's odd little nose which seems far too small for her face anyway. Has she had some work done there? She needs more. Josh Hartnett, on the other hand, seems to have blossomed as an actor. He was very watchable for once even though he also seems to share the same nose. I liked the idea of the story though and it was, although very much like "The Thing" in atmosphere, an original film. It just disappointed me by not being at all scary and having yet another "self sacrifice" message at the end. At least it was "R" rated. |
January 4, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Charlie Wilson's War - R | December 30, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| National Treasure: Book of Secrets - PG |
Not as good as the first one and now without the Davinci Code hype which caused it to be so popular in the first place. The whole thing was as insipid as the Tomb Raider films but without anybody attractive to look at. Not even Diane Kruger was worthwhile. The action sequences are messy and not at all exciting and the puzzles which the team figure out are even more contrived than something Dan Brown would come up. A couple of on-location scenes set in France and London amused me for their sheer incompetence. Police with guns in the UK? Not likely even in Buck House is it really? The everso friendly French gendarmes in Paris were hardly stereotypical either... although rumour has it that there are one or two helpful ones out in the French countryside. Is this a little kid's film? I've got an idea it is and that I probably shouldn't have watched it in the first place. It sucks. No, really, it more than sucks. This was one of the most unpleasant films that I have ever endured. The plot is virtually identical to the first one except this time, Ed Harris is the bad guy who tries to make good at the end with the third self-sacrifice ending that I've seen in as many days. Jon Voight and Helen Mirren take part in a very annoying subplot as Ben Gates' parents which doesn't quite work as they are probably the same age as Nicholas Cage. Just watch paint dry instead. |
December 26, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Awake - R | December 23, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Ju-on: The Grudge (Ju-on 3) - R | December 23, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Alvin and the Chipmunks - PG | December 22, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - R | December 22, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Wind Chill - R |
I watched this on the plane from London to New York and thoroughly enjoyed what I saw of it before the announcements about landing cut in and I missed the end. I still have no idea what the denouement amounted to but I liked the acting and the situation seemed credible enough even though it was yet another not very scary ghost story. The girl in it, Emily Blunt, was in "The Devil Wears Prada" but she had a bit more depth to her here and didn't just rely on her looks so much. The characterisation is really well done and the relationship that develops between the two leads is what keeps your interest since the ghosts aren't all that spooky. When I find this on DVD, I will probably give a fuller appraisal as what may be entertaining at 37,000 feet may not hold up when back on solid ground. |
December 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| P2 - R |
If you want an alternative Christmas movie this year instead of the usual "Die Hard", you may want to give this one a try. Rachel Nichols, who was the spiteful blonde in "The Woods", does a great job as the victim who is trapped by an insane car park attendant on Christmas Eve. Wes Bentley, who plays the aforementioned psychopath, also gives a good performance but somehow is not quite in the Christian Bale league to which his character aspires. Everything is done really well and, although it is very reminiscent of "made for TV" films like "Final Jeopardy" (1985), it is actually quite an original story for once with a stronger than usual female lead. It certainly has enough action and a brisk pace that keeps you from getting bored. It's not really a horror film though and isn't particularly scary. It's more of a thriller with some excellent gory moments. Rachel Nichols has some lovely cleavage on show too for those of you who appreciate such things. I know I do. |
December 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Golden Compass - PG-13 |
I watched this mainly to get away from the overheated mall shops and waste a couple of hours. I didn't completely hate it but I did manage to fall asleep in the middle and only woke up when the CGI polar bears were fighting. The story was a bit all over the place but it was nice to hear some good old English accents again even if Nicole Kidman's is obviously fake. I'm sure that the books are better than this so I might read them one day. I've seen all three in one paperback for $20 so I think I'll have that next time I go out. As for the anti-Christian stuff that I have heard rumours about, where was it? I didn't notice anything religious in this apart from the "demons" and the fact that the heroine was supposed to be from unmarried parents and went to Jordan college. I'm probably missing out on some really clever subtext but I just enjoyed it as a story not as some kind of athiestic sermon. It's all just fantasy anyway. It's no worse than Narnia but certainly isn't any better unfortunately. Also because it has a "to be continued" ending, it will indeed suck even more if they don't make the next one. |
December 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| I Am Legend - PG-13 |
When I had the choice recently to see this or "The Golden Compass" I chose the latter because I just knew this would suck with a PG-13 rating. I thought I might as well at least watch a real kids' film rather than another kiddified non-horror vampire/zombie movie. Alas I finally did watch this pile of crap as well though. It wasn't just bad compared to the two previous versions of the same story but was particularly crap in its own right. Even "The Omega Man" is better than this tedious mess! Will Smith was okay in it but everything was very below average. There were too many pointless flashbacks and not enough action to keep anyone with more than one brain cell entertained for very long. As a slightly zombified version of "Cast Away" it was equally as dull. Mercifully it was all soon over even if the pacing of the movie was so slow that it felt like I'd been watching it for a week by the time it ended. It's one to avoid. Watch "The Last Man on Earth" version instead. |
December 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| August Rush - PG | November 21, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Enchanted - PG | November 21, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Resident Evil: Extinction - R |
This was much better than the previous "Resident Evil" films and was infinitely superior to playing any of the overly long console games that inspired it. Now it may be that I just like watching Milla Jovovich even in films where she doesn't do anything much except look good. This time though she really gets into the action and more than makes up for the disappointment of "Ultraviolet". You also get to see quite a lot of her but, unfortunately, not nearly enough to really count as nudity. The special effects in this were a mix of practical and CGI but they worked well together and the zombies were genuinely nasty to look at. These zombies are a lot quicker over the ground than Romero's lurchers but there are many obvious comparisons with "Day of the Dead" that can be made from the storyline. Characterisation was also very good and there were moments of heroism along the way which really have you siding with the ragtag convoy of survivors. The action sequences were few but they were all very well done. Some of them even reached the levels of genuine excitement that you would expect from a decent zombie film rather than just another computer game adaptation. I enjoyed it but it hasn't converted me to liking the "Resident Evil" franchise. Ignore the "R" rating. Until these films start getting made for adults, rather than for little kids, they will still only ever rate as average. |
November 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Beowulf - PG-13 |
Now it's not often that I watch an animated feature, and I never expect very much of them if I do, but this was really good. CGI has certainly got more advanced in recent years and this was state-of-the-art stuff all the way. Even though it still looked pretty much like an elongated cutscene from a computer game, I really enjoyed it. Maybe it's because I was already familiar with the Beowulf story or maybe it was seeing Angelina Jolie naked, but, either way, I got thoroughly engrossed in it all and it didn't seem to matter after a while that Ray Winstone's character looked more like Sean Bean than Ray Winstone or that Anthony Hopkins was a strangely Welsh sounding Danish king. Really the only place I can fault this is with the sound. Some of it was too shouty and unintelligible. I know the Danish language bits were supposed to be but I got a bit confused at times when I couldn't even understand what was being said in English! This film also loses points with me for Angelina's fake Russian accent. I don't understand why a Danish demon should have a Russian accent. Oh well, if the king can be Welsh and Beowulf can be a Cockney then I suppose it all makes sense. I would still recommend this to anyone though as the action scenes are really impressive. |
November 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Host (Gwoemul) - R |
If you can put up with the variations in pitch of the Korean voices (and having to read subtitles) then this is really quite good for a CGI monster based comedy-horror. In many ways I'd say this does for Korea what "Night Watch" did for Russia. There are some bits which will undoubtledly lead many to love it and others to hate it. The heroes are from the poorer working class and you'll see a way of life and culture depicted in the background which is quite a bit different to how we are in the west. One major problem which I found was that it was very hard to judge acting ability as this isn't a 100% serious film. It isn't quite a comedy either but it certainly has comic moments (maybe too many). It's also really quite hard to place this in any genre apart from "cult" as it certainly felt as if it was intended for that niche. The monster of the title ("Gwoemul" just means "monster") is totally CGI. It is done very well but, as ever, it is still horrible and would be equally at home in a computer game. It's a very nasty looking thing though and is one of the most original creatures that I've seen for a while. The way it moves is quite impressive. It's a pity that the same can't be said for the messy plot. The pacing is upset as there is way too much time spent on the family members' subplots rather than the monster and the race against time to save the girl suffers as a result. It also often moves too far into obvious anti-American political satire. Having said that, it has some quite touching scenes here and there and is a film with many layers. The girl who plays the archer is very pretty too but I wish more use had been made of her. The bottom line is that I enjoyed most of it. The ending was very predictable, it needed just a little bit more action and certainly could have done with some more gore. If you like monster movies, you'll like this but don't watch if you are expecting it to be scary. |
November 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Woods - R |
This is now the best horror movie that I've seen not just this year but for many years. I don't understand why this turned out to be a straight to DVD release as it's certainly good enough for a theatrical distribution. I can't find enough good things to say about this at all. Not only does it do for witches what "Ginger Snaps" did for werewolves but everything is perfectly executed from the 1960s period setting to the outstanding acting by everyone involved. The director, Lucky McKee, was also responsible for the more lacklustre "May" but don't hold that against him. This time he really got everything right. Again, he has used a very strong lead, Agnes Bruckner, and she will definitely enchant you (pun intended) throughout. It has a sufficiently spooky atmosphere, great characterisation, a good storyline and excellent gore scenes at the end. Don't believe anyone who writes bullshit comments about this being "derivative" and "unoriginal". Yes, it does have similarilties to "Carrie", "The Initiation of Sarah" and a great many others but it does it all so much better and mixes the elements in a far more entertaining way. You'll be drawn in so much by it that you won't even notice the "clichés" that the nitpickers like to point out. The plot is indeed also similar to "Suspiria" but only in the way that "Suspiria" is the same as "Rosemary's Baby", i.e. they both have a coven of witches involved. But whereas "Suspiria" is an unwatchable boring crapfest, this is a much smoother affair and much more enjoyable in every way. Even the music is good! |
November 20, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow (Gekijô-ban Naruto: Daikatsugeki!) - Unrated | November 14, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| The Glimmer Man - R | November 9, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Saw IV - R | November 9, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| The Cradle - Unrated | November 9, 2007 | N/A |
5651 ratings
458 reviews
