| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Iron Man - PG-13 | May 6, 2008 | N/A | ||||
| Into the Wild - R |
This story is based on the true adventure and tragedy of Chris McCandless, who took on Nature without really recognizing its brutality and mercilessness. He paid the price for his romanticism after he hitchhiked to the wilds of Alaska with naught but a bag of rice, a gun and limited bullets, a book about local plant life, and books for reading. He found an abandoned bus in the wilderness and lived in that for over two months. Soon his view of Nature as warm, fluffy and friendly wore off when he found that he had no more food, and no more bullets.
This movie clocks in at 2.5 hours, which was totally unnecessary. This seems to be because director Sean Penn continually adds lingering (and lovely) shots of nature and of his subject, Chris (Emile Hirsch) against a backdrop of nature. About the fifth time this occurs, I was like, "OKAY! I GET IT! Nature is pretty! Chris likes nature! Enough already!" Sadly, Emile Hirsch does not make Chris very likable. I did not connect to this character (although I REALLY wanted to) and so it was hard to sympathize with him. Hirsch mostly played Chris as dull and robotic, with the occasional bursts of over-acting. A scene in the wilderness where Chris acts out a traumatic occurence from his childhood, complete with him playing the parts of his mom, his dad, and himself as a kid, is excruciatingly awkward to watch as well as somewhat comical. Hirsch tried to play this scene as emotional and compelling, but it just ended up looking silly. I watched this movie with my best friend, and we both agreed that it was hard to like the character of Chris mainly due to his treatment of his family. He despised his parents but had a close relationship with his sister; yet, when he took off for the Wild, he never let any of them know where he was going; he just vanished for over two years. He never contacted them on his journey, and the movie implies that this was done to hurt his parents. Imagine the hell his family was put through! And why would he do this to his sister? In the end, this shutting out of his family sealed his doom, because if they had only known his destination of Alaska - if he had only updated them occasionaly on his whereabouts - he might have had a search party looking for him. Instead, he paid a horrible, horrible price for his thoughtless, naive cruelty. It's a fascinating story, even if told in a meandering, pretentious fashion. And the cinematography is beautiful, even if Sean Penn beats us over the head with all the landscape shots. Rather than bothering with this movie, I'd recommend just researching Christopher McCandless on the 'net and reading his fascinating story for yourself. |
March 7, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Hard Candy - R |
A truly disturbing movie! This may be the best acting you will EVER see by anyone in Hollywood. Ellen Page is truly terrifying as the cute-but-psychopathic 14-year-old Hayley. And Patrick Wilson, who plays Jeff, has you convinced you're watching someone in genuine pain and terror.
A reviewer I read said this movie made him feel dirty, because it had him feeling sympathetic towards a pedophile. And I have to agree with him! It bothered me to no end that I felt sorry for Jeff as he was subjected to Hayley's various methods of torture. Who's the real monster here? I would say that both Jeff AND Hayley are monsters, though in different ways. And what really got to me about this movie was Hayley feeling it was ok, even righteous, to repay evil with evil. I couldn't disagree more. This is a film that will stay in your mind long after you watch it...and will spark many conversations with friends, should they watch it with you! |
March 4, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Kung Pow! Enter the Fist - PG-13 |
Stupid. Ridiculous. Moronic. Immature. HILARIOUS!!! - and now one of my favourite movies EVER. Kung Pow has a guy that fights with gopher-chuks and a girl who wails "weee-oooo! weeee-oooo!" after every sentence. Not to mention a bad guy named "Betty", a gorgeous woman with only one boob sticking out of the center of her chest, and more! To deprive yourself of the chance to see this movie would be tantamount to cutting off your big toe ("That's tender! Oooh, that's tender!"). Remember, "we don't want to lose any more toes here!" So get off your butt and rent this dvd!
If you thought Kung Fu Hustle was funny, then you'll most likely find this funny too. |
February 1, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Cloverfield - PG-13 |
"Cloverfield" mixes the good with the bad. The filmmakers had a great production concept, and the movie boasted marvelous filming. It was shot with a hand-held camera by one person (same as Blair Witch Project), and it held my interest the entire time. The characters were interesting, although I found that they were never quite developed enough for me to really care about them. About halfway through the film, the storyline becomes a little incoherent (if you watch it, you'll see what I mean)...and the ending was a real letdown.
My biggest complaint is that the monster just didn't seem that scary, or that destructive. What REALLY annoyed me is that NO EXPLANATION IS EVER GIVEN as to what the monster IS, or where it came from. Is it an alien? A government science project gone wrong? An ancient creature sleeping at the bottom of the ocean, now awakened and ready to wreak havoc? WHAT?!?!?! I had to pay $9.50 to see this movie, and although I liked it (I just didn't LOVE it), I wish I had gone on Tuesday night where I would have paid only $4.50). It's just not worth paying nearly ten bucks to see, although I recommend seeing it on the big screen rather than waiting for it to come out on DVD. Just...don't pay full price at the theatre for this dazzling, yet disappointing movie. |
January 20, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Beowulf - PG-13 |
I really wish I had seen this in 3-D. It was just incredible to watch, although I liked the first half of the film better than the second half. The effects are unbelievable, and it's a bit disconcerting to see well-known actors rendered into CG characters who remain completely recognizable.
Crispin Glover should receive some kind of award for his portrayal of Grendel - he was spine-chilling. He managed to convey soooo much for a character who communicated mostly with screams, grunts, moans, and the like. To be honest, when Grendel was no longer in the picture I just wasn't as interested, although the movie was still fantastic. I wonder if this type of film (CG rendering of actors) will be made again? I think it's likely. |
December 19, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Stardust - PG-13 | Very entertaining, well-made film. The cast was just superb. Definately worth watching! | December 19, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Enchanted - PG |
Everything about this movie kicks ass! I can't wait to see it again when it comes out on video.
I never thought it would be so hilarious to watch the antics of two cartoon Disney characters dropped into real life (turned into humans, of course). I highly recommend this movie. |
December 19, 2007 | N/A | |||
| MirrorMask - PG |
I used to collect Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN graphic novels, so I was looking forward to seeing the combo of Gaiman's writing and Dave McKean's visual craziness put together in movie form. "Mirrormask" did not disappoint! The visuals, the story, and the characters were all fantastic. I ended up watching it three times.
And NOW I have a huge crush on Valentine...as well as a fear of meeting a cat with a human face. I better always keep a book handy... |
October 25, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Shaun of the Dead - R |
This is such a great blending of comedy and horror. It's hilarious and totally engaging. There are also some true horror-movie gross-out parts, as well as some stuff that I didn't expect.
There were a couple of spots where they threw in some totally unnecessary raunchy lines, but the comedic genius of the movie made up for that. BTW...Simon Pegg is sexy. |
October 21, 2007 | N/A | |||
| 1408 - PG-13 |
The first half-hour is great. Problem is, there is such a HUGE build-up to the part when John Cusack's character actually stays in the room 1408, that you're on the edge of your seat expecting to see Satan himself in there! To my great disappointment, the movie goes downhill from about 5 minutes after Mike Enslin (Cusack) enters 1408 - simply because there's NO WAY the "evil f**king room" can live up to the buildup that has already been established! Thank goodness for John Cusack, who is so entirely watchable AND believable. He's the only reason I didn't turn this movie off halfway through. Samuel L. Jackson has a small role, and actually manages NOT to annoy me, which is saying a LOT. (Speaking of which, I bet Mace Windu could have Jedi'ed his way outta that room...No window-diving for him.)
I thought "1408" was going to reach levels of scariness along the lines of "Event Horizon"...I guess I should be thankful, then, because "Event Horizon" was horrifying and images from it stayed in my mind for days afterward. "1408" didn't go the route of a gory horror movie, which I definitely appreciate. If you have nothing better to do and this movie happens to be lying around, I recommend watching it for John Cusack's performance alone. And of course, you may just like this movie a whole lot better than I did. |
October 4, 2007 | N/A | |||
| A History of Violence - R |
If you want to see human faces smashed into bloody pools of splintered bone, then this is the movie for you. There is also the INSANELY graphic sex scenes, which are right out of your average porn movie. I didn't know Viggo Mortenson, Ed Harris, and William Hurt would ever agree to star in something like this.
Grotesque violence and sex scenes aside, this movie has an interesting plotline that has a promising start, but falls flat a little over halfway through the movie. Viggo does the most wooden acting I think I've ever seen - next to Hayden Christensen's portrayal of Anakin Skywalker, and Samantha Morton's mind-numbing "acting" of Morvern Callar. Honestly, Viggo's facial expression doesn't change, EVER - whether having sex with his wife, gunning people down, being threatened by mobsters, or serving coffee in his diner. The only passable acting here, IMHO, is that of Ed Harris, who can't help but put on a great performance. William hurt is extremely disappointing as a hammy, cheesy, annoying doofus of a gangster. You can practically SEE him wincing as he tries to make the fake Philly accent work with the idiotic "mobster" lines he was given. The whole thing spirals down into a retarded ending. I wouldn't recommend this mess to ANYONE - unless, of course, you like to see smashed-in, bloody human faces paired with porn. Oh - and this film gets two-and-a-half stars because in all technical aspects, it was well done. Great filming, great cinematography, etc. Too bad it was wasted on such a crappy script. |
September 21, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Island - PG-13 |
I really, really like this movie, even it does go into cheese territory occasionally. It deals with the idea of human cloning, and what direction that could go in if it were to become a reality. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson are very believable in their roles. I LOVED the scenes in the Institute (where the clones reside). And yes, this is a Michael Bay film, so that means LOTS of chase scenes and lots of things blowing up. These are not elements I look for in a movie, but they seemed to work in The Island.
And you know....what could be better than Ewan McGregor? TWO EWAN MCGREGORS!!!! This film made me ponder as to whether I'd like to have a clone, and if I DID have one, would I like to meet her? And if I met her, would I like her? And what happens if you meet your clone and find them to be annoying or obnoxious?? Does that mean that people find YOU annoying or obnoxious?? I can just picture it now: ME: So, um, hi. Nice to meet you. ERIN CLONE: Yeah, hi. Wow. I thought I dressed better. ME: Well, you know, no job and no money will do that to you. ERIN CLONE: Well, if that's the case, I'm glad I live in a laboratory with my every need taken care of. That means I can stay on the Internet all day if I want to; or watch sci-fi films non-stop. ME: Sounds pretty good. What kind of food do they serve? ERIN CLONE: Only super-healthy stuff. ME: So I guess that means no wine, huh? ERIN CLONE: Yep. BOTH: Doesn't that suck. Me: Are there any cute guy clones? ERIN CLONE: There are...but you know us - we only attract the crazy ones. ME: So crazy guys can be cloned too, eh? ERIN CLONE: Sadly, yes. On a different note, are you staying up till 2am every night? You look like crap. ME: Yeah, well...I wasn't freshly hatched out of a jelly sac like SOME PEOPLE, was I?? ERIN CLONE: Alright, calm down already. I wanted you to know: I brought you a present. ME: Really? You shouldn't have. ERIN CLONE: Well, you are ME and all. And seeing as I know you as well as you know me, I got you something you've been wanting a LONG time...a James Franco clone!!!!! ME: You can't be serious!!! Oh my goodness, Erin Clone, this is just too much! I'm so happy! But wait a minute...did you get one for yourself? ERIN CLONE: No...I grabbed someone else. ME: Who? ERIN CLONE: A clone of young Morrissey. ME: BITCH!! |
September 12, 2007 | N/A | |||
| 8 Mile - R | September 8, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Austin Powers in Goldmember - PG-13 |
I hate this movie.
I hate this movie. I hate this movie. In "Goldmember", Mike Myers travels down the sad path that many talented, even genius, comedians have traveled before him. It is the path where, even though you are comedically BRILLIANT enough to be able to write comedy that is hilarious on every level, you choose to resort to raunchiness/gross-out humour in order to appeal to the lowest common denominator and increase ticket sales. Such a shame, because the first Austin Powers was comedy gold and will be a classic, I'm sure. The only reason I gave this rancid, landfill-heap-of-a-movie even half a star is because of Dr. Evil and The Mole. |
September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Bruce Almighty - PG-13 | Great entertainment...IMHO, the "Bruce-with-God's-powers" storyline is fantastic; the love story is weak. And this brings to mind something I've wondered for a while: WHY DOES JENNIFER ANISTON PLAY EXACTLY THE SAME CHARACTER IN EVER SINGLE MOVIE SHE'S IN?? The only character she seems capable of playing is Rachel from friends. Imagine, she's built a film career on playing the SAME CHARACTER. Anyways, I digress...because of the "love story" and Jennifer Aniston's annoying character, it only gets three stars. However, if you want to nearly have a brain hemmorhage laughing, watch the scene where Bruce messes with Evan Baxter in the newsroom. | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Save the Last Dance - PG-13 |
Synonym Time!!
Today's word will be WORTHLESS: Synonyms are: base, bogus, cheap, contemptible, counterproductive, cultus, despicable, empty, futile, good-for-nothing, ignoble, inconsequential, inferior, insignificant, inutile, meaningless, mediocre, miserable, no-account, nothing, nugatory, paltry, pointless, poor, profitless, sterile, trashy, trifling, trivial, unimportant, unprofitable, useless, valueless, waste, wretched. Those describe this worthless movie better than anything I can say. |
September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| There's Something About Mary - R | More puerile, bodily-fluid-soaked refuse. You could save money and get the same viewing pleasure by watching a nurse clean up vomit, feces, and other bodily waste at your local hospital. WHEEE! | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Notebook - PG-13 | Not too bad...but still a little too sappy for my taste. Considering that I HATE "chick flicks", though, it's kind of amazing that I like this film AT ALL. | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| 50 First Dates - PG-13 | If they had removed the gross elements from this film, I probably would have liked it more. But even as it is, it's hilarious and very sweet. | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - PG |
Total garbage, and a waste of Johnny Depp's time. Go rent the 1971 version with Gene Wilder instead.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067992/ |
September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| E.T. - The Extra-Terrestrial - PG | I was about six years old when I saw this movie and it blew my mind. I wonder, is there anyone on EARTH who doesn't like E.T.? | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl - PG-13 | One of the best movies you could ever see. Do youself a favour and SEE IT. Just make sure to avoid the crap-tastic sequels. | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Meet The Fockers - PG-13 | Extremely funny movie. Another one that can be watched repeatedly! Even funnier if you watch it with your parents! | September 8, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Sin City - R | Effects are fantastic, acting is good...storyline is hyper-violent and grotesque. | September 8, 2007 | N/A |
106 ratings
65 reviews
