AmyRawr08

No new reviews. Rate some more movies.

• 
  I recommend you see...

  Dance of the Dead

  by Creep

  I don't know about you, but sometimes when watching a ridiculously bad, stupid movie I get this weird feeling of embarrassment. Dance of the Dead was one of those movies.
  
  I didn't laugh once. I didn't even chuckle. This movie was ridiculously unfunny and lame. The script is an embarrassment. It's like a script I would have written in English class in the 5th grade. It would have been funny to me back then, but at age 10, like all kids my age, my humor was quite silly and extremely dry. Of course back then kids my age have always found me funny, but as I grew up I stopped telling "knock-knock" jokes and slipping whoopee cushions under my friend's couch. That's what Dance of the Dead feels like. It feels it was written by a guy who had never grown up, the kind of guy who would find much humor in movies such as "Date Movie", "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie". This is the kind of horror movie in which a great sense of humor was desperately needed to save it from falling apart. The acting was horrible, yes, but with some really funny dialogue that could have been overlooked. Who cares about some silly acting if you're laughing your ass off?? That's the thing with horror films, you can get away with murder. Plot holes, pitiful performances, cheap production value, bad script, etc...These can all be forgivable, but you need some material of good substance to balance that out. I understand Dance of the Dead had some really good direction(camera wise), but in every direction there is a story to tell. In the story we see the visuals take action, hear what characters have to say, and pass most of our judgment. Yes, cinematography and shot choices are definitely a plus, and I give Dance of the Dead pointers in that department, but other than that it failed to tell a funny story(which was it's main focus). It failed to be smart or even unique(I see that it tried...but it still failed!). It just failed on every fu*king level to be entertaining. I understand this movie was suppose to be silly, outrageous and over the top. But so what? Plenty of horror films are good when they're silly. Dance of the Dead wasn't one of them. I get what they were trying to do, they just sucked at doing it. This is the kind of horror movie I would show to my little baby cousins. They would definitely find Dance of the Dead very funny.
  
  For the people who just love gore in their horror films, and nothing else, you might actually dig this movie. But for the people who look for a little more in their horror films...I don't think you'll find it here.

  creepfreak

  I say skip this joke. I thought this movie sucked. Not my kind of humor, but I don't know, maybe you still want to give it a shot.

  posted 15 hours ago
• 
  viking48

  Hey - try this quiz and see how we compare
  
  Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone Quiz (October 12, 2008) 74th Quiz!

  posted 4 days ago
• 
  I recommend you see...

  Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

  by Kelly

  The story is about a 3 star (for horror), but the production effects are so great that I HAD to give this four stars.
  
  This is a FUN creature feature with some wicked awesome monsters and an interesting protagonist who is not annoyingly cocky, but instead empathetically emotional. This is a fun get smashed Friday night movie for gore freaks, and it would scare the crap out of a kid or lightweight. I imagine if I saw this before I developed my scare immunities, I wouldn't sleep comfortably for a few days - that's how great the makeup is.
  
  I'm a huge proponent of practical effects, which is probably why I like this movie so much. The first two acts are mostly exposition, and then the concluding twenty-five minutes is all monster fighting. During the fight, Jack does some foolish things like discard his weapons constantly, then when the next monster attacks him, has to struggle to find another makeshift weapon (and this gag is pulled at least three times). I thought compared to earlier outbursts, the actor didn't showcase Jack's rage when it came to fighting the monsters, and it's not just because the monsters dwarf his aggression with their growls. I think the actor was trying to inject some fear into Jack, but it just came off as Jack wasn't in his uncontrollable anger mode.
  
  I'm definitely looking forward to the sequel and hope they don't lapse into using loads of CGI, as the practical makeup/fx was the meat of the movie. I like how bits of the creatures' anatomy mimics the aesthetic of plumbing and pipes, which is Jack's porfession (in particular, their blood looks like dirty pipe sludge).
  
  Also worth mentioning is Robert Englund's performance. He does a great eccentric professor. Once his character is affected by the monster heart, his body language is just astounding as if I was watching a person actually possessed.

  Stinger839

  This goes out to my horror horde (sorry to my serious cinema crowd to pollute your board with this silliness). I predict that CreepFreak will love this movie and soon be sending out another rec for it.

  posted 6 days ago
• 
  ElectroBoy

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  Which Star Wars Hero are you?

  posted 8 days ago
• 
  I recommend you see...

  The Midnight Meat Train

  by Creep

  I was loving this movie in the beginning. Everything, from the great acting to the dark, dreaded atmosphere, grabbed a sudden hold of me. It wasn't even the gore that excited me really. The gore(the blood actually) looked too animated and stylized, and it did't much impress me. It's not that CGI gore is lame to me, it's just that the feel of The Midnight Meat Train, at least to me, was quite realistic. I give all credit to the acting for making me feel that way, which is a good thing. Perhaps the use of more latex or more actual blood syrup would have had a bigger affect on me. What I'm saying is, the use of more realism in the kills would have shocked me more. All in all, the gore was pretty cool, just not the main highlight for me in this particular film. And also, the thing about The Midnight Meat Train being "insanely gory", I have to disagree on that one. I can't see why people are saying this is so frigging gory. It's not really that much of a bloodbath at all. Good use of violence, but definitely not the continuous, non-stop gore that I've been reading about. Graphic, but not too graphic...still, not a big deal.
  
  Back to the beginning, as I was saying about the great atmosphere and terrific acting, and also along with an intriguing storyline and some nifty camera work, The Midnight Meat Train definitely had my eyes glued. I loved Ryuhei Kitamura's Azumi, so I sort of had this feeling that I wouldn't be let down from the very beginning. Great style he uses in all his films.
  
  Okay, here's the bad part...
  
  About 30-40 minutes into the film everything fu*king fell apart. The acting became weak and the characters became emotionless. I know it sounds insane, but I kid you not. The acting went from great, to fu*king sleepy and boring. It's like the actors weren't even trying to act like the "original" characters anymore, and I don't know if it's because the script started getting bad or what, but the dialogue started getting silly and pretty corny. Almost like the director wasn't telling the actors exactly what to do anymore. I swear, it was freaking weird. Everything just became weak, at least in comparison to the whole fu*king beginning of the film. And like I said, the dialogue became pretty corny. The responses the characters were giving in scenes just became too typical, simple, and very predictable. Why?? The dialogue seemed so sharp and intelligent in the beginning. Did the director loose the last 60 pages of the script or something?(sarcasm of course) Even the two main characters who are dating, suddenly and completely loose their chemistry. They have this one scene when the main photographer has an emotional meltdown with his girlfriend about taking pictures of "happy" things. It was such a disgrace. What a ridiculous scene. At first I was convinced they truly loved each other, and then at that particular scene they "acted" like they loved each other. Yes people, there is a big difference. Bad performances come from actors who look like their trying so damn hard to act good. It becomes obvious to the point where it's laughable. In that scene in The Midnight Meat Train, they were trying soooooooooo hard to be torn by their issues and show their love for each other, that it became way too silly. Their acting skills went out the fu*king window and it looked more like they were auditioning for a bad high school soap opera. I only point out this one scene because that's the exact point, if I remember correctly, that the movie started to go down hill. I have no problem with bad acting in horror films, trust me, that's not the real issue. It's just that it didn't fit the film...at all. Everything in Midnight Meat Train was going at a certain pace, and great acting was part of that. And then BAMN!...you suddenly get bad acting in the middle(and continuing the whole time from there) and now you get a whole new movie. Just didn't fit well.
  
  Things get worse...
  
  Scenes started to drag out for a long time. My mind started drifting off to other things at those points. I was no longer focused on the movie. It was like the director finished the whole film, realized that it was too short, then went back for reshoots to fill in some more running time(I'm sure that didn't happen, but I swear I wouldn't be surprised if it did).
  
  The camera work started to get a bit sloppy. And I'll say this again, only in comparison to the beginning of the film, is why I complaining about this. The filmmaking was top notch in the beginning, Slick and wise angles, shot choices and camera movements, as well as nice cinematography. Then later on, everything kind of became flat. It just didn't feel like the same movie. It all got a little dull and sloppy. Nothing fit well to me!(at least in my eyes) Did the DP take a bottle of sleeping pills? Maybe. Or maybe the whole damn crew just fell asleep on the set. Again, if you read my other reviews, sloppy movies don't turn me off DEPENDING on the film's overall tone. The Midnight Meat Train did not start like this, and I can pretty much bet they didn't want a half-ass horror film. Ryuhei Kitamura is known for using unique and amazing styles in his movies. I just don't know what happened! And this is actually a great way to explain the whole thing!...It felt like, and I seriously mean this, it felt like they simply ran out of money in the middle of filming. Like lots and lots of money. Everything after a certain point just felt cheap and rushed into.
  
  Now...The worst thing about The Midnight Meat Train was the whole ending! The whole 15 minute crappy ending that capped it all off. Just when I thought it wouldn't get any worse. I always said Clive Barker came up with some truly amazing stories...I guess now I can also say some crappy ass endings. The film went from being a serious, intense horror thriller, to a movie about a heroic man jumping on trains like superman and fighting supernatural goblins in a tunnel. Yes, that might sound cool...but it just didn't fit well. The movie seemed to have gotten lost in it's own story, got tangled in a mess, and spun out of control. It was like a horror movie with manic disorders. Constantly up and down and all over the place. I seriously was so psyched about seeing this movie too. What a huge disappointment. My rating on The Midnight Meat Train is for the beginning part of the film only. I give it credit for having a good and interesting start.
  
  Just my opinion. Many people do like this movie, and you might as well. You might want to give it a look.

  creepfreak

  Wasn't really a fan of this at all. Very disappointed. But you still might want to give it a try.

  posted 8 days ago
• 
  Come see this movie with me...

  Feast II: Sloppy Seconds

  by Creep

  I'm not missing the point with Feast 2. I get it completely. John Gulager directed Feast 2 bad purposely, with plenty of outrageous raunchiness, loads of cheap gore, and silly little kid toilet humor. The fact is he failed at being stupid. There are many good horror films that don't take themselves seriously, most on a shoestring budget, but plenty of them still don't fail to entertain. The trick to a silly cheap B horror movie, in which nothing is taken seriously, is to actually be funny. If you're going to tell a joke, make sure it's a funny joke. Same with this, in terms of filmmaking, especially with cheap horror films. If the movie is meant to be a joke, than the movie should be fu*king funny. Nothing about Feast 2 was the least bit funny. It was like a 12 year old had written the script, and was the only one who was amused by his jokes. Now that I mentioned this, and also looking back on the film, that's exactly what it was like. The film seemed to be just one long "inside" joke, that was personal to the director, or maybe even some of his filming buddies. Too bad I wasn't hanging with them to laugh also, then maybe I would've enjoyed the film better. So I correct myself...I really didn't get the point of this film, because I just didn't get the joke.
  
  It's to bad too, cause Feast 1 was a great little horror film. Feast 1 was also produced by some big names who are truly familiar with the horror genre, one being Wes Craven, who had nothing to do at all with Feast 2. It's starting to make me think how much pull Craven actually had the first time around. Think about it...Maybe him and a few other professionals stopped most from falling into John Gulager's hands, saving Feast 1 from becoming a complete disaster. Where are your buddies when you really need them, huh? Oh well...let's wait and see if his upcoming film Feast 3: The Happy Finish can tell a better joke. Perhaps John Gulager isn't such a hack after all...but highly doubt it.
  
  On the plus side, the one good thing about this movie were the closing credits. Just skip to that part and save some time!
  
  Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds...sloppy movie...sloppy everything.

  creepfreak

  Not funny in the "good" sense...actually it's not funny in any sense. It's just pretty stupid in the stupid sense.

  posted 8 days ago
• 
  Come see this movie with me...

  Mirrors

  by Creep

  A huge disappointment, and a huge sloppy mess in filmmaking. Does not feel like a Alexandre Aja film at all. As I figured, it was more just like a stupid "Grudge" film with 2 lame gory scenes thrown into the mix. Nothing about this film was even remotely scary. Just tame, silly, and boring. Without the blood, Mirrors is just like another crappy PG-13 horror movie. Such a shame, this could have been something special. I pray that Alexandre Aja comes back hard with his next horror film. Up until now he was one of my new favorite horror directors. It just seemed like he was trying to prove something with this film. As if he was trying to show people that he can tackle any kind of formula in the horror department and make something good of it. Well he can't! Alexandre needs to stick to what he's good at...and that would be the sick shit. The vile and disgusting display of violence he always portrayed that put his name on top of the genre in first place. I'm not saying that a horror movie without the graphic blood is bad, and if done right Mirrors could have been great, but this element really just isn't Alexandre's cup of tea. He proved that once with Mirrors, I'm just hoping he doesn't prove that again.

  creepfreak

  I hope Alexandre Aja was just joking with this film...or maybe he was just sick with the flu.

  posted 8 days ago
• 
  sukhpalsidhu31

  hiyaaa, how u doing, im fyne thanx, well hows ur week going, hope ur ok, its gettin colder n xmas is getting closer again ohh time to re-mortgage the house again lol, j,k, well u been ok, chat soon
  sukhy
  xx

  posted 9 days ago
• 
  sukhpalsidhu31

  hiyaaa, how u doing, im fyne thanx, well hows ur week going, hope ur ok, its gettin colder n xmas is getting closer again ohh time to re-mortgage the house again lol, j,k, well u been ok, chat soon
  sukhy
  xx

  posted 9 days ago
• 
  viking48

  Hey - try this quiz and see how we compare
  
  South Park Quiz 3 (October 5, 2008) 73rd Quiz!

  posted 11 days ago
• 
  I recommend you see...

  The Midnight Meat Train

  by Kelly

  First screening: this is a plain thrilling goregasm.
  
  Vinnie Jones - or as I know him from Gervais' and Merchant's "Extras", that footballer bloke who just acts hard though Ross Kemp reckons he could definitely beat him up - does a great butcher. He's a naturally mean looking man and a large solid physique that dwarfs his victims and equals one buff and tough wrestler-like guy who ends up as another meal. Jones has the dead stare nailed down!
  
  I want to read Clive Barker's original story before I comment on plot elements and the script (as I watched crapfest 'Insanitarium' to get a taste of Jeff Buhler's screenwriting skills, and because this is an adaptation, I can't fairly appraise or praise until I've read the source material.
  
  I now see what Barker was talking about when it came to fighting to keep this film uncensored, and it's generally fucked that the production and distribution systems clash so much (but that's a whole blog post unto itself I'll save for ImpRaVinG).
  
  There's not much holding back on the blood and gore fans will be in heaven throughout the final reel. I think there were some anticipatory censorship issues with nudity of the corpses on hooks as I saw a few too many unrealistic bodies: obvious simplistic crash dummies next to a more detailed model that had a penis that defied gravity.
  
  Still any wide shots of the corpses displayed in rows on the train cars, drawn and hung like cattle, are sickening sublime.
  
  The (primary) murder weapon is just plain cool, from finish to design, it's an iconic horror movie weapon.
  
  I did dislike how the beginning of the movie has some bits realistic-striving avant-garde stuff but then splats that against action-geared fights; basically, sometimes the film is playing out like a noir with lingering atmospheric shots, then it kicks into action movie mode of quick cutting and I found that conflict of moods was the biggest detriment.
  
  I know now that I will watch this movie a few more times, one or two for serious screening, and loads for the sheer fun of it.

  Stinger839

  This rec is mostly aimed at my fellow gore and horror fans - this is a real treat. Imagine if CHUD had been done right and then smash it together with a big smattering of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, set it mostly in a bleak subway, and you've got MMT.

  posted 11 days ago
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  emonicdevil053

  Hey - try this personality test and see how we compare
  
  What Guitar Hero game are you?

  posted 13 days ago
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  ElectroBoy

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  Christian Bale: The Official Balehead Quiz

  posted 16 days ago
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  viking48

  Hey - try this quiz and see how we compare
  
  Sports Quiz 3 (September 28, 2008) 72nd Quiz / o /

  posted 18 days ago
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  Come see this movie with me...

  Kids

  by Creep

  creepfreak

  Check out this video I just made and tell me what you think. All the clips are from Larry Clark films, the master of displaying youth gone wrong. One of my favorite directors. Check it out. Enjoy.
  
  Just copy and paste this...
  
  http://www.flixster.com/conversations/1110888

  posted 23 days ago
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  amolsal

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  ElectroBoy

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  Name that Christian Bale movie

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  ErikGuzicz

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  ErikGuzicz

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  posted 30 days ago

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