My Favorite Movies

A fitting and thrilling end to a master trilogy. The biggest and undoubtably the best in the series. An absolute masterpiece. Is also better than Harry Potter.

Justins Best Bit: Saurons defeat!!

This movie is in my prestigiouse faves, excellent directing and plenty of blood. The characters are fantastic and the acting is superb. Also possesing the three essential G's for a movie, Guns, Girls and Gore.

A powerfully gritty action movie, not for the faint of heart.

Justins Best Bit: Howards Saints just desserts.

Marvelouse, a spectacle of epic proportions.

Watching this movie was officially the hardest ive ever laughed. Ever. At anything. Its a very intimidating movie and is not for the meek. Those with the gall to sit through it are rewarded with THE MOST hilariouse and stupid things your ever likely to witness.

Justins Best Bit: The entire movie

Increadibly stylish, brilliant. Nothing short of a masterpiece. The tale of the brave 300 is one of the most exciting and awe inspiring ever told.

Justins Best Bit: The fire and passion, the raw talent and perserverance of each and every greek soldier.

This movie is about sheer, raw, fire and passion, about whats truly right, about freedom. William Wallace fights and lives for one reason and one reason alone. To make Scotland free. Politics? Bah. Truce? Not a chance. Wallace sits confortably in the hall of patriots, alongside the likes of other great honourable men like Leonidas.

Justins Best Bit: FREEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Realism. That is the defining factor that makes up Saving Private Ryan. Everything you see, from the beach assault to the bridge battle is created so well that you will feel the bullets whiz past your own head. Fubar.

Justins Best Bit: The entire movie

An instant classic, not a frame wasted, fave bit is the mighty minigun.

No review i can write does this movie or Tony Jaa justice. This is spectacular. Dont mess with the Muay Tai master!

Justins Best Bit: The tournament in which the warrior bashes the snot out of three highly trained fighters. To hell with computer graphics and wires!

The Matrix was such a monumental and succesful film acheivement because it presented us with asuch an entertainingly origional plot that completely shattered the boundaries of reality.

The very idea that our entire universe is just a computer program just overshadows most other movies, because they are still trapped in "The Matrix".

There really are not words good enough to describe the coolness levels of this movie. It just oozes cool.

It takes a good deal of understanding, its not simple by any means. But perhaps the biggest question is, why the shit doesent anything like this ever happen to ME?!

Justins Best Bit: The brutal ball busting bullet ballet of the lobby scene

Gladiator sits confidently in the top three sword and sandle movies of all time. 300. Braveheart. Gladiator. Gladiator is a stylish and emotive movie while still retaining its manly hack and slash elements.

Justins Best Bit: Finally sticking it to that dorky murdering emperor type bastard.

The first real cinematic outing for the creators of south park remains their funniest by a country mile. The type of humor found here is totally unique and memorable.

Justins Best Bit: Too many to count

Now THIS is the half of the Grindhouse feature your gonna want to see. Rose McGowan is incredibly sexy, (even with one leg) and oddly funny. The characters are fun and enjoyable with plenty of stupid and sickening special effects.As for all that homage nonsense, you might actually grasp the concept when you watch it, unlike the painful Death Proof. Also unlike Death Proof, Planet Terror is packed with gun battles, gore, zombies and other totally awesome shit often enough to actually entertain, rather than bore the balls off you. Planet Terror has downed a bottle of steroids, snorted 10 lines of coke and been unleashed upon the movie universe in a sweet, insane, frothing frenzy.

Justins Best Bit: So many I cant be bothered to type them all.

This is brilliant movie making. Even though it is nearly impossible to reference to people about which one the bad guy is. The whole concept of a terrorist and an FBI agent switching faces and lives is great to watch. Seeing how the both cope living on the other side, and then facing eachother on either side of a mirror is just great. Also sporting an emotive and ironic ending, with loads upon loads of kick ass explosions, gun battles and personality.

Justins Best Bit: The showdown on the harbour.

One of the most iconic movies of its time, and easily the best Alien movie made to date. This is the home turf for all those quotes you hear like "How do I get outta this chicken shit outfit?? and "game over man, game over". The PC game Starcraft even lifted a handful of lines from this movie. ("Rough air ahead, we're in for some chop" "We're in the pipe, five by five")

The slien queen is a haunting doppleganger of puppet mastery that burns an image of its terryfying fram into your mind.

Its a fleshy, slimy, utterly enjoyable sci fi thriller and you cannot have a dvd collection without it.

Justins Best Bit: "Get away from here you bitch!!"

Unleashed is a martial arts movie with a difference. It has a heart and soul. Its a brilliantly told story, that doesent focus on mindless violence in every scene, in fact, most of it focuses on the rediscovering of the slaves humanity.

Its a sad and desperate atmosphere, but that makes the eventual warmth and happyness that much sweeter and really makes you bond with danny the dog in a surreal, almost Tim Burton kind of way.

The action scenes themselves, particularly the gladiator arena, are amazing. The bad guys really look like they are trying to hurt him, and are not just waiting for their cue.

But the real success of Unleashed lies in watching Danny reclaim his stolen humanity, from a particularly awesome loan shark Bob Hoskins, by using his memory of music, his mother, and the love and generosity given by an ever brilliant Morgan Freeman and relative newcomer Kelly Condon.

Unleashed is a real gem of a movie. It takes a personal discover story, and simply brutal martial arts and throws them in a blender to produce this entertaining and touching movie. Buy it. Even if you have not seen it.

Justins Best Bit: Hoskins clicks off the collar and snarls "Get 'em".

Dog Soldiers just goes to show that you dont need a massive budget and bombastic special effects to make a purely enjoyable movie (does'nt it Micheal Bay?) This is honestly the best werewolf movie out there, second maybe only to Underworld, but to tell you the truth I enjoyed this just as much, maybe more.

The werewolf effects are entirely anamatronic and done with suits and pupeteers, but as with alien, it adds that effect of them not being CG. They are really there, in the frame with the actors trying to eat them alive. The werewolves are tall, scruffy and lanky, they kinda look a little shaky, but the camera isnt ever focused on them for very long, making fast paced and frightening action sequences.

Dog Soldiers also features top notch british humor, with dozens and dozens of fantastic funny one liners and comments peppering the carnage. But what is so great about them is that as enjoyable as they are, and as much as you get to like the characters, it never ever takes away from the grizzly atmosphere of being stalked and hunted by bloodthirsty lycanthropes. This sort of combination between humor and horror has never really been accomplished as well as Dog Soldiers. Take The Mummy for example. While its still enjoyable, its too scary to be funny, and too funny to be scary. Not the case here. Neither the horror, nor the humor ever conflicts badly enough to make it hollow and too weird to enjoy.

Be warned, this is a gory one. Not outlandish sick-for-the-sake-of-being-sick gore, but well done and effective violence. Another thing it does well is actually makes you give a shit about the characters. Giving them genuine personality instead of just obviouse attempts at giving them quirks designed to make you feel pity makes it that much better.

This is truly a great werewolf movie, and I reccommend it to fans of british humor, army humor, monster movie lovers, werewolf movie lovers, gore heads movie enthusiasts and everyone inbetween. Except, you know, for kids and wussy people.

Justins Best Bit: Sean Pertwee as Sarge delivers most of the best lines. "We are now, up against, live, hostile targets. So, should little red riding hood show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude I expect you to tune the bitch." Also, the sequence of Spoon vs werewolf is absolutely awesome. How many guys take on a werewolf bare knuckled and beat the living snot out of it? Spoon is one of my all time favorite heroes for that. Champion.

We certainly have come a long way from Adam West and the days of Zing! Blamph! and Pow! havent we?

The Dark Knight, thank Jesus, lives up to its hype. Then steps over its hype, squishes its hype, and kicks all its expectations to the curb. This is, by far, the best comic book movie ever made and rightfully the number one film to see this year. So lets run through just what makes this film such a massive success....

First, the supporting actors. The choice to cast Micheal Cain as Alfred is a great one. Cain has the British charm to make him likeable, the discipline and experience as an actor to be beleivable, and enough youth left in him to not seem as though he's just a useless doddering old butler. The same can be said for Morgan Freeman, one of the best and most enjoyable to watch actors I've ever seen. He comes off as intelligent and useful, his likeable personality and genuine charm make him an asset to both Batman and the movie on a whole.

Maggie Gyllanhall makes for such a better Rachel Dawes than the annoyingly amatureish acting and child like looks of Katie Holmes. Where Holmes was blank and stale, Gyllanhall glows with emotion and heartfelt reaility. Such a good choice to switch them, if they hadnt been, this would have only gotten 4 1/2 stars. Lastly, Gary Oldman. Before Batman, I never really thought that much of him. I had'nt seen many of his movies (Fifth Element anyone?) and to me he was just another one of those "successful but not really interested in" actors. After The Dark Knight I have a newfound respect for his talent and just how good it was to cast him in that role.

Now, here we go, the main course. Aaron Eckhart. Harvey Dent. Ive seen him in one pathetic romantic comedy and forgot about him soon after, but he seemed like the kind of guy who would do well in the right role. Harvey Dent is the right role. He's a nice guy, but only to nice people. Full of just causes and bearing a kind heart. Hes a man with a tough skin, but if that skin is broken, it will twist him to insanity. Eckhart portrays all this so well and its tough to think of anyone else with that perfect blend of "Nice but only takes a certain amount of shit"

As for Christian Bale as Bats, he has only improved. His deep and menacing "bat-voice" is such a marked improvement from the awefulness of George "stuck up his own arse" Cloony and Val "Shit" Kilmer. My only gripe is that, at times, he sounds a little too menacing for the things he is saying, but thats pretty minor. All in all he is without doubt the best Batman there has ever been. Whether Adam West and his tin of shark repellant is loved by all or not.

And now for the part youve been really waiting for. The clown, the laughing schitzo, The Joker. As far as I am concerned, Heath Ledger was not anywhere to be seen in this movie. There is no Heath to be found. Heath is not the Joker. The Joker is himself, and himself alone. A scary, dangerous, sadisticly malevolant basket case. It truly is The Joker you are watching and not an actor portaying him. He is one of the most unnerving characters of all time and I have never seen anything that even comes close to him. He is nuts, but he's smart. He is violent and rutheless, but indescrimenate. He has no motive, no real goals, no method, and no mind. He will probably go down in history as one of the best on screen characters of history. Rightly so. A joy and a spook to watch at the same time. Brilliant.

The Dark Knight excells in all other areas. The action and mayhem scenes were very well orchestrated. The films pace was superb, Putting the character focus, scene setting, action scenes and suprisingly excellent suspense scenes all in the right moments to keep you entertained the entire way though, which is a hard thing to do indeed.

In conclusion, you know the hype. Beleive it. Because this is one film that would be insane to miss. And if you dont want to see it, then why so serious?

Justins Best Bit: Its criminal to single out one scene as better than the others, but the "pencil dissapearance trick" will always have a special place in my heart.

BUTTERS: "How am I ser'posed to git home?"
MAYOR: "Oh, well, all you need to do is click your heels together three times" BUTTERS: "Wow, really?"
MAYOR: "No you f*cking dipshit! that was a joke!"

South Park has never, ever, ONCE, in all it's seasons, failed to make me laugh. Truly, Imaginationalnd is a real jewel on the South Park crown. It's got everything that makes South Park great. It's got vile, twisted humor, it's got the sharp, witty pokes at society and the government, it's got the "I've learned something today" speeches that speak volumes about the world we live in, it even has the diobolical Christmas Critters and even ManBearPig in the flesh! No matter how much the DVD shop charges for it, buy this or Season 11 (season 11 includes all three Imaginationland episodes) because it will be well worth your money.

It all begins with a bet between Kyle and Cartman. The both of them agreeing that if Cartman could prove leaprochauns exist then Kyle would suck his balls. If not, Cartman owes Kyle $10. As it turns out, Cartman was right, they encounter a Leaprechaun and Cartman begins an obsessive vendetta to force Kyle to suck his balls, no matter the cost. But the leaprechaun had come from Imaginationland to warn of a terrorist attack, a fact the boy's discover when the Imaginationland mayor whisks them off in a balloon to his world. In the attack, all the boys except Butters manage to escape. Butters then witnesses the terrorist blow up the barrier that keeps the evil of Imaginationland at bay, causing our imaginations to start running wild! The rest of the story concerns the struggle for the preservation of Imaginationland and Cartmans quest to make Kyle suck his balls.

It's really a brilliantly constructed story and one of South Parks finest hours. Hearing the defence force issuing a statement about an imaginary terrorist attack, then turning to Mel Gibson for help, is just priceless. There are loads of evil and good imaginary characters for the keen eye to spot and it's nice to see Butters finally having a bit of good luck thrown his way. Do yourself a favor and watch this, because whether your a South Park fan or not, you will find alot to enjoy.

MEL GIBSON: "UUUUUGGGHHHRR my nipples they hurt!!!!!!!"

Justins Best Bit: This is one of those occasions where the entire event itself is a best bit. It's more like one of lifes best bits.

NARRATOR: "I started asking myself, what kind of living room suite defines me as a person"

As I write these first few words of this mammoth review, I feel that no matter what I write I am not going to paint an accurate picture of Fight Club for the unfortunate few who have not seen it. So bear with me and make up your own mind but trust me when I cock tell you that this is a movie that you have to see before you die. No exceptions.

Part of me doesent even want to give away how it pans out, because if your anything like me you would sit down to this expecting a mature kind of "Karate-Kid" that sets up one whole fight to be the resolution of everyones problems and thats just not the case at all. In Fight Club, the fighting means so little, and yet it is the core of everything. It's like the fuel on the fire. The fighting is the heart and soul of what drives this movie, but like any other heart and soul, it is rarely seen, it's just completely overshadowed by the effect it has on it's surroundings.

Edward Nortan's nameless characters is a sad, but accurate commentary on the way far too many of us are living our lives. He's a complete blank canvas. He's bored and he doesent even know it. Brainwashed by society cock into beleiving that paying his bills on time, wearing the right tie to work and watchting sit-coms every night is the greatest goal anyone can acheive in their life. He's a man who "has it all". A nice apartmant with gimmicky furniture, a paying job and a nice steady routine he can get bogged down in until he's so old that the best thing he can hope for is not suffering the embaressment of soiling himself infront of his attractive caretaker nurse. But he doesent know he is bored and miserable, so he develops insomnia, which miraculously leads him to his own self awakening nuzzled in the huge, sweaty man-tit's of a former steroid abuser in a prostate cancer self help group. Still what you expected? So he leapfrogs from help group to help group, deriving his own meaning of existence from having cancer one night and heart disease the next. Having people listen and care unquestioningly is something we would all like isnt it?

It could be argued that if we all lived our lives the way Nortans character does (many do) then people would become mechanisms, and the world a perpetual, useless machine. Enter Tyler Durden. The virus, the bug in the system who could make it all come crashing down. He is handsome, smart, charismatic and capable of doing anything he sets his mind to. Brad Pitt does a fantastic job of portraying this beautifully unconventional individual. His grin looks charming and warm, but all you can see is his malicious intent shining through his teeth.

Fight Club is all about boundaries, and breaking through them. This includes breaking the fourth wall. In one scene, both the narrator and Tyler talk to you as if they are completely aware of the fact that you are sitting there watching them, which is refreshing and a little scary at the same time cock.

The performances of the characters were all round impressive, and they needed to be for this calibre of movie. Each characters is perfectly suited to their role. The wirey, exaushted, drugged out look of Helena Bonham Carter as Marla Singer. The depressed, bored, weedy little suttlebug of Edward Nortan as the Narrator. And the charming yet menacing persona of Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden are personalities that will pop up in your head when you come across certain social situations.

To sum this movie up in one word......PRIMAL. It is very very raw. The violence it quite brutal, the humor is dark and satyrical, and the entire experience presents you with an uncomfortable truth, a radical alternative, and one hell of a twist that will make you blurt out "No way!" regardless of whoever is around. Fight Club is comparable to walking up to a dwarf who prefers to be called 'little person', smacking him in the face and telling him to live with being a midget. It's the harsh truth. But in Fight Club, the truth is established at the beginning, the rest of the movie is a simple, systematic dismantlement of our lives. And I loved every second of it. cock

Justins Best Bit: The final half hour will blow you away. This is stellar, polished, movie brass that many others could never hope to hold a candle to.

Yes. Five stars. I gave this movie five stars. And I do it again. I dont care if my entire neighborhood lynch-mobs me, I'll always give this movie five stars.

You've heard of South Park right? Well a few fans of that show may remember a certain returning character known as "Towlie". Towlie, to put it simply, is a talking towel who likes to get high. And everyone loves him. Why? Because he makes no sense. And the creators openly admit him as being "The worst character ever".

Now "Zombie Strippers" is the Towlie equivelent of zombie movies. Because like Towlie, It is completely, efoortlessly shameless, but thats what makes it a wonderful thing.

This looks to be the only existing case in cinema history (that I am aware of) where completely giving up on a movies credibility, has made it so much better than all it's peers. "Day of the Dead"? "Plane Dead"? They were cool in a dumb way but were just completely shit when you got down to it. In fact, any zombie movie with the exception of 2004's "Dawn of the Dead" and any classic works of Romero has been gory, and kinda fun, but just lame.

Enter "Zombie Strippers". It really is an R18+ posing as an MA15+. Sure to be a cult hit amongst horror fans, it is loaded with fake boobs, sparkly g-strings, full frontal female nudity, brutally sadistic gore, and sinks to such incredible lows that you will not f*cking beleive it. Having said that, the zombie effects on the girls all look awesome, easily outdoing any other zombie movie you care to think of.

Yes. "Zombie Strippers" is completely and utterly retarded. But rather than question why it exists, just enjoy it for what it is. Look boobs! Strippers! And now theres zombies! Gore! Boobs! Gore! Dancing corpse babes! Jenna Jameson! Robert Englund! If your honestly going to critique a movie called "Zombie Strippers" then you know not a damn thing about cinema. Or fun for that matter.

Justins Best Bit: Er.....everything. But the scene with the billiard balls, oh my freaking lord.........

The less this is analysed the better. What you get from it is what you get from it. Cant ask for more than that.

How have I seen this? I shamefully watched the cam ripped version. Shaky quality and no subtitles. But thats ok, because not only do I already know the basic storyline from watching the original series, I'm also going to support the creators by buying the Blu-Ray at my first given opportunity. Twice.

Evangelion 2.0 is the second in a series of four movies that retells the events of the television anime "Neo Genesis Evangelion", a story of giant humanoid mecha, piloted by teenagers who are charged with defeating strange beings known as 'Angels'. Each movie chronicals approximately 6-8 episodes and while remaining strikingly similar, take creative liverties where necassary. They really are a compliment to the original works and even surpass it in many ways.

If you are not all beefed up on your Evangelion lore, than this movie is going to be little more than a gorgeous looking mind-rape. We all know how bizzare anime can be, and the EVA series is no exception, so if you pick this up out of sheer curiosity be prepared to sit there and say " Wait.......what?" I would reccommend spending a little downtime getting familiar with the series if you have any interest in these high quality remakes. It's worth it. Despite the first glance sillyness, its a very intelligent anime that helps to bridge a bit of the culture gap with excellent characters, maticulous attention to detail, and a genuinely intruiging storyline. All done on a massive, and highly atmospheric scale.

It's on this massive scale that 2.0 really shines. It's like a Micheal Bay movie, except animated and with a much better plot. Well, a plot at all. The EVA's are all rendered in glorious 3D, and the Angels are like nothing you've ever seen. They cannot even be described because they dont look like anything you've ever witnessed before. Added to that, an amazingly emotive and enthralling musical score, which complements the massive scale of the movie perfectly.

The creative liberties taken by 2.0 make the experience all the better as far as I am concerned. When the studio Gainax was making the original series, they often ran out of money during critical development periods (but still managed to create awesome episodes), and a few things here and there were rushed, left unfinished or not thought out as well as they might have been if cash was not a problem. Here, cash is most definately not a problem, and as a result, Hideaki Anno, the director, has vividly brought to life one of the most surreal and awe-inspiring pieces of anime that is likely to remain unrivalled for the entire time between its release and its sequal.

As far as the character development and and emotional side of things are concerned, I cannot say for sure how well it is handled here because I had no subtitles to assist me. But from what I know about the characters already, and the high quality, professional handling of Evangelion 1.0, I am confident that it will explore the farthest corner of the human soul just as the series and 1.0 have done. In particular, 1.0 was especially good at creating an amazing atmosphere, which complemented every characters situation.

This is something you really should check out. Whether you just want to see gorgeouse battle scenes between weird monsters and robots, or are wanting to see what will be new about the Evangelion universe, this is worth paying double for. Acquire on sight.

Justins Best Bit: Any scene with Asuka, the fiery little redhead EVA pilot with a perfectionist nature and self-indulgent bravery.