| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| District 9 - R |
Hollywood, hang your head in shame. After seeing this film last night, I could imagine all the American studio bosses lining up the usual suspects (step forward Michael Bay, McG, Rob Cohen, Paul Anderson) and running one slap across all their faces. Neil Blomkamp achieves more with his relatively modest-budget sci-fi feast, District 9, than Terminator: Salvation and Transformers 2 could have even if they combined their creative and financial 'efforts'. District 9, despite it's numerous similarities to Alien Nation, is an original story, in a South African setting the average viewer is new to, with special effects that actually ENHANCE (that's right, I'll say it again... ENHANCE) the action on screen. District 9 is a breath of fresh air and a real treat in every respect. Our pen-pushing hero, Sharlto Copley, convinces us thoroughly of his inanity during the preliminary documentary scenes. He's not a hero at all. The side parting, his attention to beaurocratic detail and his tank top/tie combo all sell him as a wuss. He's not Vin Diesel. He's not Mark Wahlberg. He's David Brent. With the latest splattering of Hollywood 6-pack heroes, I'm sold already. He's a real underdog. We're not sure in what way, but right from the off when he is assigned to head into District 9 to execute eviction orders, we know something bad is heading his way. And it's the fact he's not a muscle-bound, military-trained cat-walk model that has you gripped. "How the hell can THIS guy get out of this?" That is a question I stopped having to ask myself a long time ago when it came to Hollywood actioners. Like I said, a breath of fresh air. Or should I say nostalgic air? Remember scrawny Kyle Reese against the bulk of Arnie? Those were the days... I digress. Back to the film. The mixture of elements in the South African setting only add to the tension and barbarity of the film. A stinking slum filled with aliens hacking at whatever meat they can find, all under the burning Johannesburg sun. Nigerian gangsters muscling in on the extra-terrestrial inhabitants, exploiting their weaknesses and needs (in this case an addictive like need for cat food) and maintaining their illegal stranglehold with barbarism and violence. You'll notice that thus far all the uglier sides of the story are as a result of human activity, not alien. We put them in the camps. We let the warlords run their own show. We do not provide for them and force them to live as squatters. Which is what they soon become seen as. Squatters that need to leave. It is after his attempted eviction of the alien race that the story begins. Our hero, Wikus, finds himself inextricably involved with the alien race when coming into contact with an alien artefact. After his exposure, he is seen by the corporation behind the alien settlement as a biological resource and is hunted down, whilst he has made himself no friends in alien quarters either. He is alone, and we feel for him, but the best part is you never quite pity him... because he's still a bit of a twat! He does come across a particular pair of aliens with goals similar to his and an uneasy alliance is formed. One that is tested more than once. The rest of the film is a feast of action and special effects, but they never get boring, gratuitous or become disconnected from the story itself. You are hooked right until the very end and I have to say the film is a real joy to watch. Michael Bay et al, will have walked out of their studio telling off knowing that they have been truly beaten. Let's hope they, and Hollywood Studios, learn the lesson and up their game. |
September 8, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Inglourious Basterds - R |
Let me start by saying that some Quentin Tarantino films I do like. Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown... I enjoyed these films. What I don't like, nor believe, is the inexplicable tag this man has garnered for himself: Quentin Tarantino the 'amazing film-maker'. The average cinema-goer loves this man. He cuts a blokes ear off - brilliant! He turned Sam Jackson into the baddest motherfucker - superb! He even got De Niro turning tricks - what a guy! My opinion, is that he is a nothing more than an unoriginal movie geek who's had the good fortune of having millions of dollars to spend on remaking his favourite films bit by bit. It's painful. Which brings me on to Inglorious Basterds. 'Why even go to see this if you don't like him?' That would be a reasonable question to ask right about now, and the answer is simple: It looked good. It looked like a fun, slick, violent romp through Nazi-occupied France that was something finally just a bit different from what he normally churns out. I also hoped that being set in WWII, it would be impossible for the film to be chock full of movie references from 70's/80's cinema - that at last I would see a Tarantino film rather than a collection of conversations about other people's. I was oh so very wrong. Instead of modern cinema, we know see endless references to European cinema from the time of WWII and much of the plot surrounding filmmakers and a cinema. Unfortunate, but fine. This I could handle, on with the romp... Oh, but wait... If you go to see this film, quite understandably, based on the idea that it is about a crack team of Nazi-killing Jewish bloodhounds, you are going to be disappointed. Not only is the film not about these soldiers, I'm not even sure it knows what it IS supposed to be about. Yes, there's a plot, an endgame, but you have no idea who the main character is or who the story belongs too. Once again, Tarantino has to tell a story divided into chapters and sub-stories. As a result, there is very little narrative cohesion; the tone of the film is all over the place and by the end of it you might come out of the screen wondering what the hell you just watched. Like with all Tarantino films, there are good moments. The opening spaghetti-western scene is wonderfully tense, and Christoph Waltz as the aptly titled 'Jew Hunter' is superb. However, by making it so obviously a spaghetti-western homage it is impossible to miss the fact that QT has once again ripped off some other film he saw growing up and changed a few words around. There are other good scenes too. The Brit officer finding himself in a 'pickle' with a German SS officer is also a very good scene, full of tension and humour (one mix that QT admittedly does have a knack for capturing), but in the grand scheme of the plot, ultimately, pointless. And long. Again, his work here seems more like a collection of ideas, of scenes from other movies passed, all spliced together under the Nazi flag rather than a cohesive, narrative unit. More surprising, and frustrating, when knowing that this film has been in the making for years and years. At least long before Eli Roth gave us the splatter-fest 'Hostel'. Which brings me on to Roth himself. His presence in this film only proves that all Tarantino can do is reference other people's work. As a film geek myself, this was very entertaining to me at first, but now it's getting old. I was hoping it was something he would get out of his system after getting a few films under his belt, but no. In fact it's got worse. He's now referencing his contemporaries in people like Roth. Basterds promised to be Tarantino's own splatterfest at Nazi expense, so what better coat tails to hang on to than that of Roth - the new splatter king. Whilst also clinging to Robert Rodriguez for dear life, QT will soon be running out of hands and may even find himself in the extraordinarily desperate situation of having to... wait for it... make something original. Heaven forbid. My apologies for this turning into a diatribe about Tarantino, rather than the film. I think the average cinema-goer will enjoy it. They will leave laughing at all the cool lines, the scalping and the violence. They will ignore all of it's flaws and I have no doubt that Tarantino, a man so desperate to be seen as cool it's getting quite sad, will remain spectacularly cool in the eyes of the film fans who simply love seeing people get fucked up to cool music. Cool. But, just so not to finish on a downer... Christop Waltz is fantastic. The cinematography sucks you right in, very good and it's great to see so many talented and unknown European actors play key roles in a Hollywood film. Other than this I'm not sure what else to write, so I'll leave it there and await any disagreements with relish. |
August 20, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Max Payne - PG-13 |
Despite some very good, noirish, visuals with some stunning imagery of ghouls and demons... this film was dire. Based on a big-selling computer game, Max Payne is the story of the titular detective's search for revenge after the murder of his wife and baby. His former partner discovers a link between their deaths and that of a recent killing and so Payne's journey to the truth and payback begins. That's about as complicated as it gets. Same old, same old, same old. Only worse. The second Beau Bridges (why they dusted him off I have no idea) appeared on screen as the 'best friend' it was so painfully obvious what was to come that one wonders how this idea was pitched with a straight face. They must have thought, well Jeff did it in Ironman - why not Beau? Mila Kunis was onscreen for combined total of about 5 minutes and served no purpose whatsoever other than to make Payne get back on his feet after taking a break to bleed a bit during the final shoot out. Ludicris was, ahem, ludicrous. A little man with a big opinion of himself and very, very obviously NOT an actor! Even Nelly Furtado shows up in here somewhere just to confirm this film as a video game/movie/music commercial piece of trash. As said before, the only real saving grace of this film is its cinematography, which with the constant snowfall in 'New York' did often have similarities to Sin City. So essentially, this film was a pretty piece of shit. Watch at your peril. |
January 13, 2009 | N/A | |||
| City of Ember - PG |
This is one I was looking forward to. Any kids fantasy film that can get Bill Murray on board is one that I had to see, especially after hearing him enthuse about the costumes and sets. Sadly, only the sets delivered. CoE is the story of an underground city, purposefully built 200 years previous so that the people within could avoid the disastrous fate of the world above. Powered by a great generator meant to last the 200 years until the people return to the surface, a sinister Mayor (Murray) has no intention of letting it's people leave and keeps the possibility of exit a closely guarded secret. Two young Ember-lings suss that something is amiss and look to save the people before Ember plunges into darkness forever. It's a good idea, and I am sure the novel on which this movie is based explores every aspect of it, but this is a poor adaptation. There is something about The Goonies to this film, especially throughout the finale. Young kids trying to save their families by following old clues and parchment, not knowing what to expect, and in the meantime being pursued by nefarious adults. Unfortunately, the adults here really don't provide much threat to the young adventurers and their progress is all relatively easy and straight-forward. Unfortuantely this lack of dramatic conflict or threat leaves us with only the charcters to depend upon, and whilst our two leads are competent, they deliver lines as straight as an arrow and so become equally as uninteresting. And so on to Murray. An actor in a league of his own, full of character and subtleties that make him a joy to watch in almost every film, especially in the last 10 years or so. Here he has precious little screentime, and when he is on screen, he is wasted. There is very little in the way of dialouge to sink his teeth into. What was a films biggest selling point to me, becomes it's biggest disappointment. The one pleasant surprise I took from this film was Martin Landau, a very sweet actor who was more of a joy to watch when he was often asleep than when Murray was awake. I'm sure kids will enjoy this film to a point, but sadly this is not one where the adults can get in on the fun. |
January 13, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Speed Racer - PG |
When I saw the trailer for this film, I wasn't sure what to expect. The lavish CGI-fest had my instincts expecting the worse, but I was pleasantly surprised by what I eventually saw. Speed Racer, Emile Hirsch, is a racing fanatic (a huge understatement) making a name for himself on the professional race track. His success has brought him out from the shadow of his elder brother - another racer killed years earlier - and into the attentions of a major racing team. Switching to the multi-billion dollar, corrupt outfit does not tempt Hirsch to leave the family business with his Pop, John Goodman - but no is not an answer the billionaire boss will accept as he proceeds to make their lives a misery. The only way out is offered by Racer X, Matthew Fox, who needs Hirsch to race in and win a dangerous cross country event. Victory will guarantee another racer's testimony against the company and a chance for Hirsch to clear his family name. Speed Racer is based on a 60's Japanese cartoon for kids, that had no where near as much plot as what has just been described. It was gloriously colourful, mindless Saturday morning fun. The Wachowski's here have kept that over-the-top sense of colour, action and style whilst injecting more depth into the characters and to the world in which they race. Of course, there is not THAT much more depth, but certainly enough to keep people entertained for 2 hours. The CGI used here is the kind I like, the kind that knows what it is. It's not there to replace certain effects whilst obviously being fake and snapping the audience out of the moment to realise that. There is an entire world here and a spectacular (if ridiculous) style of racing that involves jumping cars, ever-changing landscapes and crazy vehicles. There are some parts (mostly invloving the youngest brother and his monkey) that are as stupid as I was fearing - I was expecting some Spy Kids-style kids acting - but for the most part the characters are all very well played. Susan Sarandon brings quality to her role as Hirsch's mother and Christina Ricci's indefinable qualities are right at home in this crazy world. All in all I would say the Wachowski's accomplished what they set out to make - a visually-arresting piece of popcorn fun. Good stuff. |
October 16, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Arena - PG-13 |
Ah, the 80's - my favourite arena for finding little, low-budget gems such as this. Arena is the story of a human man on a space-station filled with all manner of other-worldly creatures, all just trying to get by. An intergalactic fighting tournament is the main source of entertainment, but historically it's not a competition that humans fare too well in. That is until Paul Satterfield comes to town. He's big, blonde and looks so much like Christopher Reeves is spooky. He also needs cash to save his 4-armed friend from a mobster so chases down Claudia Christian, a fighter manager, to give him a shot at being the next human contender. You have to give kudos to the film-makers for putting something like this together on what must have been a fairly low-budget. Whilst the sets, actors and dialogue are all pretty poor the make-up and special effects are all pretty impressive. These days a low-budget will get you a tense, dramatic film about paedophilia, drug abuse or something equally disturbing. Back in the 80's the sky was the limit. It's that nostalgic charm that Arena has that makes it still watchable today. It's clearly not very good, but it gave it it's best shot. This is definitely the kind of film that would be ripe for a bigger budget remake. In fact this is just the kind of film that should be remade, not classic titles such as Psycho and the Italian Job - a film that had a potentially great story but not the financial means to pull it off. Until the day this one is perhaps picked up for a re-telling, this original version will do just fine on a Saturday night with a couple of mates and a few beers. Good effort. |
August 7, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Dark Knight - PG-13 |
There have only been a few times in my life when I have been truly excited about a particular film finally making it to the big screen. This one blows them all out of the water. The Dark Knight is, for lack of a better word, superb. With Batman crushing the mob and new District Attorney Harvey Dent throwing scumbags in jail by the truckload, Gotham looks like it is finally on the road to recovery. A road that may no longer need the caped crusader. That is until the emergence of a new class of criminal; The Joker. Uniting all the mob families and unleashing an unprecedented and unforgiving siege on the people of Gotham in search of Batman, things soon become worse than ever. Batman, Dent and Lt. Gordon do all they can to stem the chaotic tide sweeping through the Gotham streets. The first thing noticable about The Dark Knight is how different it is from Batman Begins. Christopher Nolan's first turn in the Batman franchise was wonderful, yet obvious a comic book movie. The CGI-manipulated and yellow tinted gothic Gotham has been replaced here with a real city and harsh blue tones. Something that likens this film to Michael Mann's 'Heat', which is this movie's greatest strength - it is not simply a comic book movie, it is a real FILM. A breath-taking piece of cinema. A very well-written one at that. Realising that all of Batman's origins have been explored in the previous film, there was room to move his character somewhat into the background for this second outing. This made it possible for the characters of Dent and Joker to really flourish and thus add so much weight to the rest of the story. With a 2.5 hour run-time, we are really given the time to explore and care about each of the major players in what is largely an ensemble piece. Much will be said about Heath Ledger for obvious reasons, but his turn here is the definitive Joker. Cruel, funny, malevolent, violent and unstoppable. At the same time I do feel for Eckhart who may go largely overlooked here. Dent plays a much larger part than I was expecting here and his journey has the sharpest and most tragic turn from light to dark. Eckhart is also very, very good as the white knight of Gotham and, for me, the real surprise package of the film. Dent and Joker provide such rich counter-parts to the Batman, it's impossible not to be sucked in to the story. Instead of a big budget action film with mundane dialogue and plot propellers that creak under the weight of the wonderful special effects set pieces they are interlaced with, we are spoiled rotten here. You can really feel the 2.5 hours after the film ends, but not because it drags out. You are gripped from the first frame to the last, enthralled by the journey of each of the three main players and blown away by the perfectly executed action scenes that have a ferocity equal only to the malicious inventiveness or the sheer force of will of their creators. It is the best cinematic experience I have ever had and the best film I have seen in a very, very long time. The bar in Hollywood has been significantly raised, and not just for the comic book franchise movies. It's not too often a popular franchise such as this has so much intelligence and intensity, and whilst I sincerely hope it is not the last, it's going to take something special to beat this. |
July 25, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Forbidden Kingdom - PG-13 |
Sadly, the meeting of two martial arts movie titans turned out to be quite as forgettable as the rest of this Kung-Fu adventure. Jackie Chan is a drunken immortal who stumbles across a young American boy from the future who has found himself sent back in time to return an ancient weapon to the Monkey King... And you're not given much more than that by way of plot explanation for the duration. Jet Li is a rival Kung-Fu master who wants to train the boy himself to fight the evil warlord that imprisoned to the Monkey King and ruled the empire ever since. Michael Angarano of Sky High, is the 21st century kid obsessed with Hong Kong cinema that's whisked back to see out this great adventure. First of all, this adventure isn't that great. All hope for the good guys is supposed to rest on young Angarano's shoulders but it's not really clear why. There is talk of the customary prophecy, but the boy himself really does instigate nor accomplish anything in the grand scheme of things. Secondly, it could have been pretty entertaining having a kung-fu movie geek thrust back in time to the real thing, but it's played way too straight here. There is one crack about the boy having heard of something his teachers talk about from playing Virtua Fighter II - but that's about it. There needed a lot more of this kind of referential humour if such a daft plot was going to be insisted upon. Instead we are expected to really want the Monkey King freed and the warlord defeated - something we might be interested in more if our characters had really entertained us for the hour leading up to the climax. In Michael Angarano and Jackie Chan they had two funny actors that could have pulled off something much more enjoyable, but sadly the most entertaining part here is seeing Jet Li piss on Jackie Chan. This is the depths they sank to to get a laugh! The costumes are good and there are some good special effects and impressive landscapes, but unfortuantely this one is a product of style over substance. Not bad for the kids, for which a film like this is obviously intended, but for those hoping to see more of a meeting between martial art cinema's most famous J's it gets quite tedious, pretty quick. Still, credit to Chan who is getting up in years but can still impress with his own stunts - and even Angarano has picked up a few moves too. |
June 9, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Beowulf - PG-13 |
Having recently watched the director's cut of this CGI telling of the famous English poem, I have to admit I was left pretty stunned. Although I certainly enjoyed it. Ray Winstone voices the Geats warrior Beowulf, who comes to Anthony Hopkins land to rid them of a terrible monster called Grendel who has been savaging their people. Right from the off it's made clear we're not in the pleasant Pixar paradise with cute characters and stories. Oh no... now where are in medieval Denmark where a hideous monster is tearing men limb from limb when he's not chewing their heads off - men who were previously getting drunk and bonking women! You even see one chap licking on a woman's breasts and another literally diving face-first between another woman's legs. The Grendel shows up as the ultimate medieval party-pooper and slaughters pretty much everyone, a sight we a treated to in spectacular detail! The characters are visually comparable to the actors providing them their voice - all except Ray Winstone of course. Particular care seems to have gone into Brendan Gleesons character, Beowulf's loyal lieutenant, where every mannerism seen by him in other movie roles have been perfectly captured here. Angelina Jolie, as Grendel's mother, is also animated superbly and somewhat explicitly too. But for strategically placed gold plating, her incredibly lifelike demon is essentially naked in all her scenes. So with everything else in mind, this is certainly not the typical kid-friendly fare that CGI movies traditionally offer. And for that reason I found Beowulf to be very refreshing viewing. Yes, the story is fairly predictable in places, but it's still a good romp through the debauched times of the Dark Ages. Shrek wouldn't last 5 seconds in this place! |
June 6, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG-13 |
Like every other 'Indy' fan, I waited and waited for May 22nd with childlike wonderment and enthusiasm.
This morning, the final resting place of that childhood has been discovered empty; robbed by the evil incarnation of the heroic whip-cracker it was stirring from its slumber to see. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is awful. And it's not even the age of our beloved professor-cum-treasure-hunter that is the issue here. The script is lazy, the film is a CGI-feast (despite promises) and the whole thing just seems rushed. Let's start with the script. Both story and dialogue are woeful. Indiana Jones with aliens and flying saucers? What sane, intelligent person could hear THAT pitch and say, "Beautiful! Here's $100m!" What added to the charm and magic of the original films was the way Indy would lead us across the treacherous tightrope of belief/disbelief over religious myths and biblical legends. The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail - two artefacts steeped in mystery but so imbedded into our history that if they were true, it was damn sure going to be our Jones that found them! "Aliens in Peru!" Cried out George Lucas' wife's second cousin's best mate, or whoever made it onto the production team. Despite this blindingly obvious departure from successful roots, The Beard was somehow sold. Fine. In that case, perhaps the story could be saved with some well-written characters and some great interplay between our impressive cast members? Nope, that's asking for too much. The money needed for that particular writer was spent on creating a CGI-gopher. Cate Blanchett - an incredible actress whose Transylvanian accent here shifts back to Australian before she finishes each sentence. Ray Winstone - a wonderful and intense character actor beaten down to ensure he's never in danger of out-performing the greying Ford and gagged with dialogue Dick Van Dyke would cringe at. And then there is Shia Lebouf. I am a big fan of Lebouf - he has a kinetic energy about him and a delivery so organic and natural that it's hard to believe you are not just witnessing his natural reaction to any situation. Spielberg had the chance here to put a very entertaining and able successor to the Jones franchise in the shop window...and doesn't seem to remember that until the last shot of the film. In this film, Lebouf is kept on a very tight leash. His lines are delivered so uncharacteristically heavy-handed that it was not worth casting him at all. He is wasted here. It seems a team of amazing actors were brought together only to curb their talent to make way for the main brand, sorry man, himself. I was immediately reminded of the story that came out about the young actor who was all but stoned by Spielberg for releasing script details to his local paper. Now I know why. If people knew how shit this story was that these actors had to work with people might not have turned out in their millions to see their childhood hero. I know I wouldn't have. With Hollywood almost having it's own religion and Spielberg as it's high priest, it's a shame the act of heresy shown by this young mortal stirred more vengeful wrath and passion in The Beard than the making of this movie. Then there is the sadly predictable CGI. What was wonderful about the 1980's was that as good as special effects had become, they were not advanced enough to create 'anything' that would pop into a filmmakers head. It meant that writers and filmmakers were forced to come up with spectacular stunts and action sequences, but ones that were achievable in the real world! This was perfect for the Indy films of old. It meant that Jones had to find an intelligent, and often lucky, way of getting out of a jam. Not now - we have a legion of man-eating ants and monkey's that teach Lebouf in seconds how to swing like Tarzan and catch up with two speeding jeeps. Before this though, we cut to a scene from the new Indiana Jones computer game where Lebouf has one foot on each of the said jeeps, besting Blanchett's swordplay having practiced with a flick-knife growing up. Did I mention that through most of this, Marion Ravenwood disappears in her own jeep, only just to show up 10 minutes later with nobody wondering where she has been? The action here has not been thought through, is uninventive and lazily executed. In fairness though, the escape from the Area 51 warehouse is OK. The editing is also sloppy in places, which makes the continuity suffer and infuriates the keen observer even more. In short, the entire experience of this film can be captured in the opening 25 seconds. You see the familiar old Paramount logo appear, which immediately takes you back to the gold old days and sets you up for a warm, nostalgic romp with an old friend - then a CGI abomination eats it's way out from the inside of that idyllic notion and leaves a gaping hole. This does nothing more than cash-in on the childhood of a lot of people, topping up the retirement funds of Lucas, Spielberg and Ford. Pay the Indiana Jones you knew and loved the proper respect. Stay away from this film and remember him the way he was the last time you saw him. |
May 23, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Kingdom - R |
This was better than I was expecting from Peter Berg - a lot better. Jamie Foxx leads a team of FBI invesigators to the scene of a bombing at a US facility in Saudi. They are unwelcome and are often hindered in their enquiries but for the assistance of the police chief attached to protect them. Slowly but surely the team makes progress leading to a climactic end. This film, in particular the set-pieces at the beginning and the end, is superbly executed by Peter Berg - something I was not expecting from the man who brought us the Rundown. Not that that is a bad film, but it's a big jump from tropical comedy caper to topical action thriller and Berg lands firmly on both feet here. Although with Michael Mann producing, I'm sure he had some good advice here and there. Jamie Foxx, through no fault of his own, is the weak link here. His character seemed somewhat of a 'square peg, round hole'. He seemed too young for his elevated role and once the team arrived in Saudi he had no real skills to contribute. The underused Chris Cooper was the veteran bomb technician, Jennifer Garner was the medical examiner and Jason Bateman was the techy. They could have even written Foxx's character out entirely and have the gruff Chris Cooper lead the group, at the same time affording more screen time and characterization between the 3 remaining team members. All this, however, is a minor quibble as everyone still performs well here. The surprise of the film for me was Ashraf Barhom, portraying the Saudi officer attached to protect the group. That he was given so much screen time and in many places more of a hero than Foxx, was very refreshing. The biggest relief is that the film was not all pro-American. In fact the film asks a lot of questions regarding their presence in Saudi and their relationship with the people there - something which Berg does not shy away from. It's a very good film that is tense and entertaining from start to finish. Definitely worth watching. |
May 20, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Strange Wilderness - R |
'Strange' is right. That would be the nicest way of describing this film. Steve Zahn is the son of a late, great wildlife documentary film-maker. His own show is going to the dogs and he's about to get the chop from the network until Joe Don Baker shows up with a map to Bigfoot's lair. Zahn assembles his crew of stoner Justin Long, gay-hick Jonah Hill, angry hippy Alan Covert, good-time girl Ashley Scott and Kevin Heffernan as the nicest, most sober alcoholic you'll ever meet, to go find Bigfoot and save their show. There is a gag at the start of this film where Zahn is about to record a segment on bears - the script he is given is not only crap, but written on the back of a bar napkin. This entire film is THAT joke. It honestly feels like they were given a story - documentary crew hunts bigfoot to save show - and then they made the rest up as they were going along. There are some funny moments. Not because of any well-written gags, but because this film does actually have a pretty good cast. Hill and Heffernan have their Superbad and Super Troopers pedigree respectively, and Zahn is no slouch at comedy himself. Unfortunately for them here, the material they are working with is, quite frankly, stupid - and not in a good way. There is even an indication in the final scene that the makers themselves know how crap this film is. It's a blooper of the guys being told everything has worked out and they are back on the air...and they all just start laughing before the credits roll. It's just bad. This film was a big disappointment, and I would imagine these talented actors will be scratching their heads over it for a long time. |
May 19, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Cutthroat Island - PG-13 |
The most expensive film of all time at the time of it's release... one of the biggest flops of all time very shortly after. Geena Davis is a swashbuckling femme fatale who is given the first of three pieces of a treasure map by her dying father - killed by his brother Frank Langella who has a second piece. A last brother has the third. Matthew Modine is the silver-tongued, latin-speaking thief she ropes in to translate the map - a rogue who looks to play both sides to get the treasure for himself. As panned as this film was, I do like it. You can really see where the money has gone in this film. Renny Harlin's offering looks wonderful, the sets and locations are superb (galleons don't grow on trees) and the set-piece action sequences are spectacular. The unfortunate thing here is that for all the films visual grandeur, it is not very well cast, performed or written. First with the cast. Frank Langella as the fearsome Uncle Dog, is brilliant. He turns up the required pantomime villainy to full but unfortunately is used too little and was not a big name draw. Matthew Modine, whilst doing his best here and doing well in places, does not have the bad-boy, charming rogue image that his character has. He is a 'nice' boy. If you've seen Memphis Belle then you know what I am talking about. A more contemporary comparison would be he is more Jack than he is Sawyer! This film needed a Sawyer. Modine was also not a big box-office draw. With all the money being spent on ships, wigs and swords, I guess the casting director didn't have much of a budget to play with at the time. Nor did said casting director have much say into the role of our lead, Geena Davis - wife to the director. Whilst she certainly looks the part, her performances in some scenes are pretty woeful (Harris Yulin blindingly outshines her as the dying father). Some fault for this can lay with the script. Dialogue is very clunky in places and the story is nowhere close to be as well executed as it is in Pirates of the Caribbean. This film is all about the visuals, and as fantastic as they are, this is it's downfall. The first half of the film is a visual feast and the story is good enough to carry us along, but it later drags as the characters and story become too hollow and superficial. It's definitely worth watching, but most will probably just watch the once. |
May 19, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Bee Movie - PG | May 12, 2008 | N/A | ||||
| Spy Game - R |
A well-directed and very intelligent thriller pairing up a screen legend with the next big thing - a match made in heaven. Brad Pitt is a CIA operative who is arrested by the Chinese while attempting a prison break and sentenced to death 24 hours later. His actions are not authorised by the US government and so a political minefield is about to be set off. Robert Redford, his mentor, is brought in to advise on Pitt's career whilst at the same time working behind the scenes to keep his protege alive. First of all, the casting of Pitt and Redford is brilliant. Much like the relationship between their characters, you can sense the enjoyment Pitt must have being taught 'the game' by one of its fields great achievers. They click perfectly. The wonderful reflection of the working relationship between actors to that of their characters is also not just a joy to behold between our leads. Stephen Dillane, playing the weasley pen-pusher who clearly has a problem with Redford from the start, enjoys a brilliant game of one-upmanship with the wyle veteran. Pitt was the next big thing when this film came out, having already garnered accolades for Fight Club and Twelve Monkeys, and you would understand Redford respected him for that - not Dillane though. Whilst I am sure that Dillane and Redford happily worked together, the recognition and respect shown by Redford to Pitt's character and not to Dillane's that could mirror real-life, only makes the performances all the more enjoyable. One piece of casting that I did find questionable however was that of Catherine McCormack. This could be down to how her character was written, but I did not find her likeable in the slightest - which makes her a tough sell when you've really enjoyed your two leads until her arrival. Especially when her role is a key one in the events of this movie. She is so unlikeable, it makes you question why Pitt does what he does, which in turns breaks you from the engaging world that had been created thus far. It is a minor quibble as she does not have significant screen-time to do anything other than cause this 'interruption', however it is a shame. Tony Scott does what he does best here, capturing the action brilliantly, as well as the emotional heart surrounding such scenes with blink and you'll miss them glances between characters. That is what makes Spy Game such an enjoyable film - great actors, intelligent and well-written story and a master action director who knows how to deliver. A great 'Saturday Night In' movie. |
May 12, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Iron Man - PG-13 |
The first in what could be the next big superhero franchise, is almost as solid as it's title might suggest. Playboy millionaire arms-dealer Downey JR takes stock of his life's work after being kidnapped by terrorists and commanded to build his most dangerous weapon for their needs. The stubborn Tony Stark instead decides to build himself a walking tank-suit to facilitate his own escape. It is the invention and motivation of his escape that leads Stark to become Iron Man - a creation that also proves to benefit his enemies. DJR is very enjoyable as the rascal 'merchant of death', a charismatic lead replacing the teen-angst or brooding rage of other superheroes - however it is the superhero part where he lets us down. His journey between blissfully ignorant war mongeror and vigilante meets with so little change in his characters personality, that you are in places doing the performance a favour by assuming that it has. He is still so cocky at the end of the film that you wonder if he really HAS realised the depth of his situation or if he is just doing what he thinks he probably should do - without fully understanding what that is. For this reason the film loses some much-needed emotional weight leading up to it's climax. A climax that has little more at stake than the life of Gwyneth Paltorw's ludicrously labelled Pepper Pots. Peter Parker loved MJ. Superman loved Louis Lane. Tony Stark MIGHT fancy a bit of Pepper - to base the climax of the film on her rescue alone also causes the film to lose some emotional clout. It is quite under-whelming. All the performances are great though, especially Jeff Bridges who brings no sense of pantomime comic book villainy to his role. He is likeable, and believable, all the way through. Terence Howard proves solid if unspectacular support as Stark's only real friend. The special effects are phenomenal and Jon Favreau has undoubtedly allayed my fears that his 'Elf' background would make this feature a kids-only affiar. It is a solid superhero film that isn't quite up there with Batman Begins or Superman Returns, but it's not far off. Very enjoyable. |
May 7, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Golden Compass - PG-13 |
A very original story that explains why the books, on which this movie was based, were so popular. However, I was left feeling that perhaps too much of the original story was left out. Lyra is a young orphan and niece of rebellious scholar, Daniel Craig. When Craig claims he has found the secret of 'Dust', a phenomenon which the governing Magistereum has refused to acknowledge for centuries, those in power seek to destroy him and his work. When the charming Nicole Kidman comes into the college and promises Lyra some adventure that her uncle has denied her, Lyra sets off into the unknown before finding herself deeper involved in a much larger plot than she realises. Throw in a cowboy, a few talking polar bears, a gypsy army and an orange monkey and you have a very original and creative tale. As such, despite titles such as Harry Potter and Lord Of The Rings to compete with, The Golden Compass holds up remarkably well. Whilst I can't find fault with the story, some of the story-telling here feels disjointed in places - leading me to believe certain parts of the book may have been left unexplained in the film. For example, the college Master just seems to give up Lyra at the start for no real reason. It was only talking to a fan of the book that I was told Kidman possessed an irresistable charm that was impossible to resist. Also, that same bandits who took Craig at the orders of Kidman, seem to be the same bandits that steal Lyra later on...only to deliver her as a gift to a sinister polar bear. Apparently the men, nor the bear, have any idea who she is, which begs the question of why was she singled out for capture in the first place? It's small details like this that leave TGC just short of Harry Potter, where even though some details from the book are left out, as someone who has not read those books I am none the wiser to any plot holes in the films. At a relatively modest running time for a fantasty of 1hr 53m, perhaps another 15-20 minutes could have been used to flesh things out a bit. Having said that though, The Golden Compass is still very good. Sam Elliott is perfectly cast as Scorsby, Ian McKellen's booming voice suits his polar bear perfectly, Eva Green is typically seductive and most importantly, young Dakota Blue is a good actress and carries her leading role well. The special effects are as good as you would expect with a big budget franchise like this. All in all in it a more than solid fantasy offering from the guy that had Jim put his bits into an American Pie and Hugh Grant murdering 'Killing Me Softly' on stage. Well done, sir. |
April 24, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) - R |
Who would have thought that one of the most richest movie character franchises could be such a poisoned chalice? Although this sequel is better than its predecessor, it seems to have left it's sci-fi realm to be so. Steve Pasquale is a badboy back in his small hometown, as is returning US soldier Reiko Aylesworth. Also arriving in town is a crash landing space ship containing face-huggers and a Pred-Alien. The townsfolk, though, are oblivious to the thunderous crashing spacecraft and the tactical warhead detonated at the crash site after the Predator begins his hunt. These people really don't stand a chance. Face huggers soon find a couple of humans to knock up, one of which is a young boy which was refreshing to see as many modern films tend to shy away from harsher ideals of violence involving children. In fact that's something that this film has in spades over the last AVP attempt. The action scenes, special effects and gratuitous violence are all very entertaining. In some places even pretty shocking, particularly a scene with some heavily pregnant women on a hospital ward. However, the film is entertaining at the sacrifice of it's roots. This film is a teenage slasher flick - something Predator or Alien were most definitely not. There may as well have been the latest Nickelback track on the soundtrack. In defence of the previous AVP offering, it did keep within the universe created by a combination of the films on which it was based - albeit with terrible writing and worse actors - but at least it tried. Here however, the Alien/Predator universe has been re-packaged for teenage kicks. As disappointing as this is however, it does mean that this film is a pretty decent, if cliched, slasher flick as opposed to a dismal sci-fi actioner. The question is what would fans of the original franchises rather see? It's a shame we are even being asked to choose. The meeting of these two movie titans should have been something a lot more spectacular than what we have beem offered. It's a shame that money wasted and lost on these two, may mean we never get to see the film we all crave and deserve. I expect the makers are having drinks with George Lucas as we speak... |
April 23, 2008 | N/A | |||
| The Spiderwick Chronicles - PG |
Another kids fantasy rolls off the Hollywood production line - and yet again I wish I could be a kid again to see this one for the first time. Bad twin, Jared, and good twin, Simon move into a new home with sister Mallory and their mother - the family home once belonging to their crazy aunt, Joan Plowright, and her father, David Strathairn, who mysteriously disappeared many years earlier. It turns out Strathairn had discovered another world right on the doorstep of our own, and was chronicling the secrets of that world into one book. When Jared finds the book in the old house, he awakes the evil ogre, Nick Nolte, who seeks it so that he can take over both worlds. It's a good story, however its key device, the book, is not used to it's full potential here. It's refreshing to see that, rather than cashing in on a new franchise, the makers of this film have adapted all the books on which this story is based into one film. However, I was left feeling that there was more to this world to see than what just one film could afford. The contents of the book are not really explored and this other world that exists, seems to only exist in the family home and garden. Within these confines however, the special effects are wonderful, and in some particular scenes quite hair-raising for younger children which helped keep older viewers like myself entertained. Thimblestack, the Brownie that lives in the house and protects the book, looks fantastic, and voiced by the wonderful Martin Short. Seth Rogan voices a strange pig-like, bird-eating creature called Hogsqueal, who despite being a peculiar character, is also wonderfully animated. Along with Martin Short, it was nice to see the faces of Mary Louise Parker and Andrew McCarthy who don't seem to make it to the big screen too often these days. And finally, Freddie Highmore, the young English actor playing American twins. Casting child actors is always a bit like Russian Roulette, but the filmmakers have found a safe chamber with this one. He is very good. As good as the CGI is, it would have been interesting to have seen a Jim Henson version of this film, but that's more of an after-thought on my part. All in all this is a film that should appeal to both kids and adults. Good stuff. |
April 14, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Vantage Point - PG-13 |
A very misleading trailer almost left me very disappointed with this multi-angle action-thriller, however Vantage Point does come good in the end. The President of the United States is addressing the world from Salamanca, Spain, before he is gunned down by a sniper. Reporters, tourists and Secret Service all frantically try to piece toegther what has happened using the different viewpoints of all those present. At least...that's what I, like many others, was expecting. It was pretty disappointing to then see that the story-telling device here is to rewind and watch the same 20 minutes through the eyes of each of the main players. This becomes very tedious, quite quickly. It is a shame that this is the route the filmmakers decided to go, because the opening and final acts are very, very good - the latter including a truly impressive car chase through the tight Spanish streets. Performance-wise the film is solid. Dennis Quaid is perfect as the bodyguard getting back in the game after taking a bullet for the President a year earlier, with himself and others questioning his ability to operate back in the line of fire. Matthew Fox is also good as his partner, and in fact, these two actors compliment each other very well. It was nice to see Sigourney Weaver again after what seems like a long absense. She commands the opening scene well but unfortunately disappears from the film shortly after as her vantage point doesn't offer much use to the story. Eduardo Noriega and Edgar Ramirez are very good in their roles and it's nice to see some fresh, foreign talent play significant roles in a Hollywood film. Forest Whitaker is also his usual very likeable self here, very sentimental, but at times asking a bit much of the audience to believe that he would involve himself as much as he does in the events of the day. Despite being similar to a microcosm of a '24' series with some of the middle episodes rearranged, Vantage Point ends very strongly and is certainly worth watching. Personally, as the trailer strongly suggested and hooked the interest of many like me, I would loved to have seen this film with linear-storytelling almost promised. |
March 28, 2008 | N/A | |||
| No Country for Old Men - R |
For the first time in a long time I have agreed with the hype surrounding a movie. This one is superb. Josh Brolin stumbles upon the grim scene of a drug deal gone bad - making off with $2 million in the process. Javier Bardem, a psycho-killer for hire, is put on his trail to recover the money and punish those he finds with it. Meanwhile, Tommy Lee Jones is the local sheriff trying to piece together the grizzly murders that link the two men. The atmospheric tension created by the Coen's here is outstanding. I can't remember the last film I saw that had such a formidable sense of forboding, a sense so tangible that you genuinely fear for some of the innocent characters in this film. This forboding is personified in the excellent Javier Bardem. His dodgy haircut and quiet demeanour do little to hide the bloodthirsty menace that lingers below the surface. All this man wants to do is kill - not for money or duty, but just for the act. He is the human equivalent of The Terminator. Josh Brolin, while not a lively character himself, is the closest thing we have to a hero in this film. He is not a cold-hearted killer, but he is a tough war veteran who matches Bardem in a game of wits that the audience watches on the edge of it's seat to see how it turns out. For me, however intentional this may have been by the Coen's, is where the film falls short of being perfect. the chase between these two men does end, but not in a way I was expecting. I leave it to the viewer to decide for themselves how they feel about it, as I would probably agree that it is open to several interpretations. Despite the mixed feelings the ending may cause though, it is a fantastic film. It's almost timeless setting helps set it apart from it's 'New Hollywood' surroundings as it has something extremely 'classic' to it. This is one no film lover should miss. |
March 27, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Never Back Down - PG-13 | March 19, 2008 | N/A | ||||
| Howard the Duck - PG |
Here's one of those films that sums up what I love about 80's movies - the utter nonsense that was backed by big money and risks studios took when greenlighting these movies. Howard is a Duck who has been inexplicably sucked from his planet to our own. After crash landing in Cleveland, he befriends rock chick Lea Thompson and lab assistant Tim Robbins who try to figure out how to get him home. At the same time, however, an evil and powerful creature known as the Dark Overlord has also come down to Earth and has plans to destroy all mankind. It doesn't get any cheesier than this. It's also easy to see why this film flopped so terribly when it was released and why so many pissed of producers turned to George Lucas with their emptied wallets, crying 'But you made Star Wars!' Howard The Duck, on paper, is a kids film. Howard The Duck on screen, is something else entirely. Only a few minutes into the film we see duck boobs and once on Earth our hero gets a job in a hot tub/brothel and is almost molested by his new Thompson who has just found a condom in his wallet. The Dark Overlord, who is wearing Jeffrey Jones, is also less than kid-friendly with some special effects that would make the people behind John Carpenter's The Thing proud! In fact the special effects throughout this film are quite impressive, with Industrial Light & Magic working wonders for Lucas once again. There are also some pretty impressive stunts, including a hair-raising chase scene between the police and Howard flying a microlite. The performances from our human actors are as good as they can be in a picture like this, with Thompson working very well with the animatronic-headed mallard. Various actors played the diminutive role of Howard and I am sure his lines were dubbed in later so it was a relatively solo performance piece from the female lead - however, in a film as silly as this it is easy to overlook such efforts. You cannot take this film seriously for one minute, as that is the only hope you have of enjoying this for what it has become in many people's eyes - a daft cult classic. It's a fun film that in a Hollywood where studio bosses all play it safe with sequel after sequel, would never be made today. Great stuff. |
March 18, 2008 | N/A | |||
| State of Grace - R |
This is one film I wish I had seen before the gluttony of similar films that have followed since. Sean Penn is a Boston beat-cop, recruited by the NYPD to go undercover with the Irish mobster friends he grew up with. Gary Oldman is superb as his one-time best friend with whom he quickly rekindles said friendship after years of absence. Oldman is wonderful as the violent, yet oddly affectionate, muscle to the new head of the Irish mob - his older brother, Ed Harris. Harris, whilst always brilliant, is hampered by a flawed character in this film. He is in charge, but does little to command the required respect from his people to be so, which makes you wonder how this rise to power could ever have happened. With the added muscle of his right-hand man with him at all times, Harris often seems very neutered. Penn lies somewhere between the two brothers. Willing to get his hands dirty but always using his head. Yet whilst his performance is good, it's difficult to get to grips with how you feel about him. Even though the pressure of his undercover work gets to him as his loyalties become blurred, you don't see enough of the 'cop' in him or what his bosses want from him, to see where this pressure is coming from. He also loses sympathy in his treatment of Robin Wright. Wright features here as the sister to the mobster pair, and former first-love to Penn. She is the only sympathetic character in the film, as she quite accurately describes the men in her life only coming to her when they want something, then dumping her when they've got it. She has got herself a good job uptown, but somehow these men are always dragging her back down. There is something of Hamlet's Ophelia in her - her suicide at the end of the film would not have seemed too out of place! Phil Joanou has done a great job of capturing the gritty, inner-city locales of the film, providing us with an endless supply of down and dirty bars, streets and apartments. However the Morricone score does not suit the film in many places, especially the closing scenes. The score here plays out like a tragedy, except there is no one left for the audience to feel sorry for which makes you feel that Joanou may have slightly missed the mark with what he wanted the audience to feel for these people. All in all it is a good film and very watchable, with a wonderful cast. Donnie Brasco is a similar yet superior film. Arguably, though, much like the comparisons between Westies and Mafiosos, State of Grace is the raw and unpolished Irish Mob film to Brasco's fashionable and slick Mafia movie. If you liked Brasco, The Departed and We Own The Night - you should like this. |
March 18, 2008 | N/A | |||
| Black Rain - R |
My favourite film. Ridley Scott takes us on a journey through the Japanese underworld, with two New York cops as our out-of-depth guides. After chasing down a Yakuza gangster in New York, Michael Douglas and his partner Andy Garcia are charged to take him back to Japan where he is a wanted felon. A clever ploy at the airport enables the prisoner to escape and now Douglas and Garcia must help track him down once more. Michael Douglas is suberb as Nick Conklin. He is a cop under pressure as he is being investigated back home for corruption, so cannot be seen to be letting criminals go. Douglas captures the character's stubborness beautifully, as he bashes his way through this undergound world he knows nothing about. Andy Garcia is also perfectly cast as his likeable partner, Charlie, who is only too happy and loyal to help Conklin get his man. Ken Takakura is also outstanding is the Japanese officer assigned to the US pair. The fact that he is the embodiment of everything that Douglas hates - 'a suit' - feeds the tension between them well until both begin to see the merits in each others qualities. Ridley Scott's direction fits in perfectly with the landscape of the film - especially post- Bladerunner. Most shots are tight around the actors, enabling the viewer to relate to their view of a strange new place - only taking in what is immediately around them and never feeling a sense of grounding. Our leads are strangers in a dangerous world and Scott helps sustain this feeling throughout. The script is a fantastic product of the 80's, with a wonderul story structure as well as brilliant one-liners. "I usually get kissed before I get fucked," Douglas spits out at his superior. These are the kind of lines with a certain delivery that can't be copied anymore. In the 80's they worked, now they would just seemed spoofed. Hans Zimmer provides a good score and Jan De Bont some beautiful cinematography. All in all, I think this film is as closed to perfect as I've seen any cop thriller be. The fact that it is a cop thriller, and that the 80's were full of them, is much to the detriment of its reputation. As outstanding a film as it is, it is unspectacular in its story which has made it easily forgettable to most viewers over the years. Take the time to watch this one and I am sure you will quickly realise its merits and give it the credit it duly deserves. Amazing film. |
March 14, 2008 | N/A |
304 ratings
300 reviews
