| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Seven Years in Tibet - PG-13 |
This is a GREAT film if you've constructed a super-size Brad Pitt shrine in your basement, so that you can simply take a trip downstairs and see his sexy, boyish smile any time you please. Because that's what this film is like. Pitt is NOT 1940's German...he reminds me more of some culture freak in European Languages class who's decided that bleaching his hair and speaking in a fake accent will help him get girls.
What I'm saying is that Pitt was made to be SO much more obviously hot than ANY other actor in this movie that it made my eyes roll out of their sockets and into the back of my skull. In a BAD way. And, like that wasn't annoying enough, you need to sit through this for like, three hours. Also, as if he wasn't flamingly gay enough, they put B.D. Wong in a dress (and ALSO made him speak in a fake accent). Props to him though for making it look natural-- that guy kills me. See it if you want, but...you've been warned. |
November 5, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Black Snake Moan - R |
This looks SO kick-assingly awesome, seriously. I saw the commercial and I was like, "Hey, finally, something that is nothing like 'The Number Twenty-Three' with Jim Carrey!!" However, upon harder searching, I found out that...bum bum bummm... JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE PLAYS IN THIS. Ick, ick, ick. Omigod, icky ew ew ew. (My valleygirl moment of the day). It was already a risk for me to even take the time to look up information on this movie. After all, I'm supposed to be in my Asian cinema stage, and this stars Christina Ricci (Italian?) and Samuel L. Jackson (American-African). But, although this movie has some pretty bad rep, being the Christina-Ricci-Eyecandy-Fest '07 and all, I still have to see it. Come on, you guys. He ties her to his radiator. His RADIATOR. That's dope. |
March 2, 2007 | N/A | |||
| 8 1/2 - Unrated | February 24, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Anaconda - PG-13 | Pfft, I saw five minutes of some middle part of it, and the snake is like, computer animated. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Superman Returns - PG-13 | Yeah, tights boiii | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| When a Stranger Calls - PG-13 | THE COMMERCIALS FUCKED ALL THE SUSPENSE UP!!!!!!! | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Emperor's New Groove - G | I heart David Spade. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Princess Bride - PG | Someone please bite my head off. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Bourne Identity - PG-13 |
MATT DAMON, HUAAAAAAH... Hey, I have a great story for you. So there was this homeless guy on the street and he was like, really, REALLY wasted on SOMETHIN', I dunno what...what was I saying? Oh yeah, and so this homeless guy was sitting next to these two students on a bench who were talking about this movie, and they were like, "Yeah, it was really thrilling and stuff, really memorable and exciting..." and then the homeless guy is like, "EXCEPT MATT DAMON HE SUUUUUUCKED...." Yeah. That never really happened. I was just letting my inner homeless man speak for all to hear...but Matt Damon really does suck, I don't care what movie he's in, he just sucks. This is an okay movie though. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Toy Story - G | February 24, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| Batman Begins - PG-13 | Kewl, darkness and stuff. I remember I loved the BatmanX series when I was younger. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Grease - PG |
I was forced to watch this a few years ago by my fine arts teacher and I don't even remember what it was about, but I do remember that I hated it because I was forced to watch it. So really, I will never be able to enjoy this movie, even if I rewatch it a million times, because my teacher cinema-raped me. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Final Destination 2 - R | February 24, 2007 | N/A | ||||
| My Girl - PG |
It said that it was 'somewhat predictable' in the synopsis. IN THE SYNOPSIS. Yeah, don't think so. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Ghost - R |
There was a really awkward moment in this. So okay, Whoopi Goldberg can like, let ghosts into her body and stuff, so this lady wants to see her husband again, right? So then the lady is like, "Lemme see my husband again," and then Whoopi is just like, "Okay," and like, there's this big long make-out scene between the lady and her husband (the movie SHOWS the husband, but I kept on thinking, 'wait, isn't he in WHOOPI's body?!') In other words, the most unintentionally awkward make-out scene in the entire history of movies. In my opinion. Actually, that's all I can remember from the last time I saw this. Go figure. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - R | So is this the second or third movie in the very dumb series? | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| I Know What You Did Last Summer - R | Wow, looks scary. The stupidity of the title and the cover of the movie is actually frightening me, seriously. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - R |
"*gasp* I thought that you would have forgotten!" "No, Ray (or whatever the main character's name is). No. You see... (big printing on movie's box-->) I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER." |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Dumbo - G |
You know what the back of the movie could've said to have gotten more people of older ages to like it? "...so Dumbo, being depressed over separation from his overweight mother, starts to trip on acid with his mouse friend, who is convinced that Dumbo can fly..." My god, I am a marketing genius. Anyway, like all Disney movies (and pre-1980 cartoons in general) reading into the script is necessary in order to live through watching this with your younger sisters. And reading into things makes them all the funnier. Make sure that you're as high as Dumbo is when you're watching this. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Hot Chick - PG-13 |
*contains spoilers* The greatest thing about this movie is that there's like, a TON of subjects that they could have focused more on, like how after the girl switched bodies her best friend fell in love with her (while she was in a male body)? So much angst could have occured, seriously. But no, it just had to be another light-hearted body switch flick. Oh well, maybe there's hope for some other director to say "Hey, this could have been GREAT!", and make an awesome moral-shaking masterpiece of cinema... Which, I suppose, it what 'The Hot Chick' *could* have been. If it had been completely different. I just found myself sitting through this movie sighing and saying, "If only Tom Brady wasn't directing this..." Just don't pay money to see it, and you're fine. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| The Devil Wears Prada - PG-13 |
Yeah, yeah, I know that it's an Anne Hathaway movie, but it's also supposed to be a "...realistic portrayal of life in fashion..." (that was a quote from some news site that I randomly went to). I'll probably never bother going to see it, since it *cough here* really doesn't look interesting. Just another Meryl Streep flick... Speaking of Meryl Streep, I've seen a lot of biblical-times movies coming out lately, maybe you should see one of those, like a good, honest Christian would? Yeah, me neither. But I just couldn't help but make an age joke on Streep. Nope, don't care, moving on. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| 8 Mile - R |
Oh my god, what was I thinking? I'm sorry to everyone who ever read my comment about rappers not being able to act, I was so wrong. This is a great story, especially because it's true. If anyone goes through generalizations, it's rappers, and I have been the most guilty of that. For my misconceptions, I apologize to Eminem fans and fans of rap and hip hop in general. Rap and hip hop are both forms of music, and like all music, can be dumb and shallow. But then there are stories like this one, that really touch people. Emotionally, you pervert. Anyway, this gave me a more open mind to the whole rap thing, and maybe made me a better person or something. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints - R | I saw the Spirit awards, and I saw some clips to the film...I'm a little shaky on how good my judgement is now, but I still want to see this. | February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Elephant - R |
Hey, you wanna see something amazingly pretentious and overhyped...? See 'Elephant'. God, seriously, this has NOTHING to do with any packaderms. Here's how the movie plays out *spoilerz*: so there's like this guy and he's like blonde and his dad is like drunk and so then they like go inside the school (the dad is still @ the car) and then the POV switches to-- --these two kids, this jock and his gf, and then they wander around for a little bit, and then the POV switches to-- this guy taking pictures and stuff...or actually this guy could have been after the blonde kid instead of the other two. I don't know. but anyway, he's like... Well you get it. The entire movie climaxes to the part where Alex Frost shoots the kid that looks like Eminem. *spoilers over* Everybody's saying that it's a beautiful film because it's a piece of shit that happened to come from Gus Van Sant, who has directed other, much better, films. This is the sort of film that a teacher would present to a class to say, "Now children, this is why we have school shooting drills!" There is no plot whatsoever, and it SCREAMS of 'Resevoir Dogs' by Tarantino. In fact, you should just see THAT movie instead of this one. Waste of two hours, could have been better, but Gus VS figured that people would like whatever feces he threw out his butt. See Resevoir Dogs instead. |
February 24, 2007 | N/A | |||
| Late Spring - G | I've heard of YO, but I never got to see any of his movies....Better start soon, this doesn't look like the kind of thing I wanna miss out on! | February 24, 2007 | N/A |
249 ratings
216 reviews
