| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hercules - Unrated | hugh jackman in the latest x-men is way more buff than poor old steve reeves was back in the innocent yet halycon days of 1959, but ol' stevie did have a good story and the simmering sylvia koscina as romantic heat. try to beat that! better than you think it might be, and a foreign film no less! (i'm turning in my d.a.r. membership tomorrow!) | May 30, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Thoth - Unrated | if life is meant to press all the impurities out of one until only gold remains, then presented here is a soul nearly squeezed dry and yet and still a fountain of life. 2002 academy award for best documentary short, a study for multiculturalism so true that it's perception is blinding, and a challenge to everyone of us to "step up". | May 29, 2009 | N/A | |||
| A Modern Affair - R | stilted and hung on a awkward pretext, a wee bit of charm based on the nuanced performances of the cast saves this. | May 28, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Management - R | May 28, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Dance Flick - PG-13 | May 28, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Paper Heart - PG-13 | May 26, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - PG-13 | May 26, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Young Victoria - PG | May 26, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Sherlock Holmes - PG-13 | May 26, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Angels & Demons - PG-13 | oh behave! it's ron howard, so don't have a coronary. this being said (and w/o the obligatory snide remarks about the appropriately named dan brown), an entertaining amusepark ride (thanks to mtv quick editing and music by hans zimmer!) with stops along the way to sightsee some antiquey roman architecture ("hey, that's old!"), discuss some catholic history (the rituals! the costumes! the "God says to kill you dead" violence!), and to sit enthralled while everyone onscreen waits for the yank to figure out eurohistory | May 25, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Next Day Air - R | a drug delivery goes wrong in philadelphia, whatever could happen next? ok, ok, but it's not supposed to be grade-a entertainment, only a sort of inner city character stereotype convention at best, and still worth a chuckle or two. | May 23, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Terminator Salvation - PG-13 |
yessir, this is one sweet little honey, all the bells and whistles, everything, standard. a/c, power steering, power brakes and look at that coat of paint, willya? sweet, huh? and power...? this baby almost flies. only 3 previous owners, all sweethearts, all terminators, take my word for it!
fun not included. |
May 23, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Brothers Bloom - PG-13 | May 18, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Easy Virtue - PG-13 | i like this movie every time i see it! | May 18, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Mountain of the Cannibal God (La montagna del dio cannibale) (Primitive Desires) - Unrated | deep in the jungles...you practically know the whole story with simply that beginning, eh? and this one does not disappoint. plenty of dense jungle canopies, yer animals eating animals here, yer tribal strongmen and tribal hussies, and then there's the whites, always on the lookout for some get rich quick exploitation (never happens). ursula andress (or should that be "undress")(just joking)(no i'm not) leads the excursion to points unknown and then there's those cannibals...out there...deep in the jungles. ouchy fun. | May 15, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Feast - R | May 15, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Bandidas - PG-13 | May 14, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Star Trek - PG-13 |
you know that look people get on "antique road show" when the appraiser tells them that the piece of junk they've had for years is really a collectors item worth a lot, lot more? if you grew up with this series like i did...get ready to wear that look.
if you didn't grow up with the series, so what, it's summer blockbuster time baby! |
May 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Sadko (The Magic Voyage of Sinbad) - PG |
altho made in 1952 this seems as if a silent film from the grand old age somehow made with sound and color (which makes no sense i know). magic permeates this, the magic of childhood, the perception of childhood, the perception that believes in Christmas because NOT to believe was even worst than however foolish believing made one. a russian tale of adventure innocently yet stirringly told, of a journey (doh!), a little romance, some action, etc., etc., etc.
! |
May 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - PG-13 |
i've always thought that the heart and soul of dicken's "a christmas carol" was the bit about the late night visit from 3 ghosts ("you might be a bit of undigested beef," said scrooge) and so i imagined that this film, borrowing that stardust, might merit.
i was wrong. practically the absolute opposite of x-men:origins which uses beefcake so terribly that it becomes beef frosting, this one uses cheesecake exactly to the same effect. |
May 10, 2009 | N/A | |||
| X-Men Origins - Wolverine - PG-13 | this reminds me of something, but i can't quite remember what it is. all i do remember is that instead of a story you had guys growling at each other about something that happened before...then a break...then more growling...another break...more growling...then...whammo...fight!...what movie was it? waitaminnut, that wasn't no movie, it's every WWF "event"! | May 10, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Li'l Abner - Unrated | the tradition of using hokum humor to make valid social points goes back a long way and al capp's "li'l abner" was a formidable addition, especially for a newspaper comic strip, to that interesting form. unfortunately li'l of capp's sarcasm and wit makes it to this movie version (that never happens in the movies!). tho granville owen is a dead ringer for al capp's creation (and i don't know if that's a good or bad thing), the throwaway hollywood treatment is more like a valentine than real love. buster keaton's here too. | May 8, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Film Crew: Wild Women of Wongo - Unrated | a one star movie made two stars better by the MST crew heckling in the background, natch. filmed in beautiful florida (hey! that's where they filmed "flipper" too! calm down, little johnny) this epic was simply an exploitive reason to get men and women to dress in loincloths and to run around like they were prehistoric types (they've never done THAT in hollywood before!) and to rassle one another, what joy. JUST like it was way back when... | May 7, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Super Size Me - PG-13 | it's not a real movie, simply a sensible warning presented as if it were a documentary. with occasional flashes of humor spurlock does make his point, which was obvious at the very beginning: fast food is not good for you. he does have a creative way of making his point though, and this bit of cultural phenomena enters the national conversation legitimately. | May 2, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Crank 2: High Voltage - R |
nonsensical. audacious. salacious. loud. boorish. vain. improbable.
but instant gold. imminiently rewatchable. dvd classic already. yer 14 year olds will make you burn this in your kitchen sink, but they'll get another one and still keep you up nights. i liked it. and filmed in the beautiful silverlake area of l.a., what could go wrong? |
May 1, 2009 | N/A |
2082 ratings
561 reviews
