|
The Matrix Revolutions - R
|
|
Please read my review for The Matrix Reloaded because it applies directly to Revolutions. The Wachowski Brothers took a great idea and couldn't improve upon it. They weren't even in the same ballpark. What was up with the ending of this movie by the way? You mean to tell me Neo was a machine? WTF?
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
The Matrix Reloaded - R
|
|
The two Matrix sequels were monumental disappointments to say the least. Why? Well, let's face it, the sequels were following one of the most original and innovative films of all time. The Matrix is an all-time iconic movie. Then there was this LITTLE problem that faced the Wachowski Brothers and their writing team. You see, the brothers lifted, heavily, the primary idea and storyline for the original Matrix film from a woman's novel (A 1981 literary masterpiece called The Third Eye by Sophia Stewart to be precise). This book, which was also ripped off by James Cameron for the original Terminator film plot, revolves around a dark futuristic world run by artificial intelligent machines and a superhuman "Chosen One" leading the human race out of slavery. Mind you, this book came out 18 years before the Matrix was released so the argument that the woman ripped off Warner Brothers has no merit whatsoever. Anyhoo, because this novel ended essentially with this Chosen One ending the war between the humans and machines, there was NO MORE STORY TO LIFT FROM. Soooooo, the Wachowski Brothers (and producer Joel Silver) were left with the arduous chore of continuing a brilliant story for the subsequent sequels--The Matrix Reloaded being the first. They failed. Miserably. The lack of additional story from the novel coupled with the brothers inability to come up with as high a caliber continuation story arc was the basis of the failure of the two sequels. It explains why the two Matrix sequels, really, have nothing to do with the original. If you watch them closely, both actually contradict the original film. The best they could come up with was Neo's fight with 10,000 Agent Smiths, which after the first 15 minutes became sensual overkill. Ironically, that sums up the sequels perfectly. Too much stimulation exhausted the moviegoers. (Ms. Stewart consequently won her seven-figure lawsuit against Warner Brothers. Cha-ching for her not so much for Warner Brothers because the Matrix sequels combined almost didn't top the original's box office take. Nice business strategy there, guys).
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Superman II - PG
|
|
After seeing Richard Donner's original vision for the movie on his recent director's cut DVD, I hate the released cinematic version now. The movie house essentially raped the original version of Superman II, which led to Donner leaving the film. It's never a good thing when a movie house and a producer is left to finish a movie. Donner's Director's Cut version is MUCH MUCH MUCH better and renders the original Superman II obsolete. Who wanted to watch Superman become a punching bag to a redneck in a diner? Not me. But for some reason the movie producers thought that's a great thing. That's not even in the director's cut.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Rambo III - R
|
|
Not bad when it first premiered. You found yourself rooting against the evil Soviets and for the local Afghanistanians, the very same Afghanistanians who are now, The Taliban. Nice going, Sly.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Deep Impact - PG-13
|
|
This is what I liked about this movie: everything goes to hell. This what I disliked about this movie: Elijah Wood outrunning a monster flood on his bike by driving into West Virginia. Morgan Freeman's pretentious president (stick with the Shawshank roles man), the fact that this was, essentially, a Paramount's answer to Universal's Armageddon, which also sucked. Why do movie houses compete with each other by copying their movies? They're too stupid to realize that all they're doing is canceling each other out and handing more power to independent filmmakers who aren't as greedy.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
La Mariée était en Noir (The Bride Wore Black) - Unrated
|
|
Francois Truffaut was a respected and talented director, but there's only one Hitchcock. Call me a homer. I don't care. Of course, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and Truffaut was most certainly meaning this to be a tribute to the filmmaking master. But Truffaut falls short in his effort to mimic Hitchcock. I found this kind of pretentious and boring. A Hitchcock movie always left me gripping my chair.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
The Cell - R
|
|
I generally dislike J-Lo with a passion and I still do even when watching this movie. But damn, this thing is twisted. Kind of a cross between an acid trip that went horribly horribly wrong and Tron, only the bad guy isn't some computer, but a tripped out Vincent D'Onfrio as a serial killer. What the hell was up with the hooks in the back? That's some heavy S&M, Vince.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Dude, Where's My Car? - PG-13
|
|
The reason why I want to punch Ashton in the face (other than being married to Demi Moore). This movie was so retarded it made Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure seem like On the Waterfront. Biodome had more brain power than this stupid mess.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Fast Times At Ridgemont High - R
|
|
I was 10 when it came out so it's not quite for my generation, but still brings back lots of memories. I remember the Spicolis and all the girls who dressed like Pat Benatar. An iconic movie of the 1980s and a must-watch if you went to high school around that time.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Bambi II - Unrated
|
|
Oh look, Disney raped its own brand again and made a sequel to a classic. Greedy MFers.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
When a Stranger Calls - PG-13
|
|
I rented this one night not long ago. One inherent problem, there is nothing supernatural about this and there is nothing remarkable about the cast other than they're cute. Why they added Clark Gregg, who I detest from The New Adventures of Old Christine on CBS, doesn't even things out. I wasn't scared and wasn't impressed with the plot twist. Maybe that's why it made less than a taco stand on a Thursday night.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Spaceballs - PG
|
|
Mel Brooks was merciless on Star Wars, the Wizard of Oz and all fantasy movies in this one, which is proving to be probably the last great comedy he made (I don't count Robin Hood Men in Tights because it SUCKED). A fantastic comedic cast, including John Candy and Joan Rivers. I still quote this movie often. Hard to believe it's been over 20 years since it came out.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
The Wedding Singer - PG-13
|
|
Adam Sandler's best comedy in that it's the smartest comedy he's done. Abandoning the adorable, but annoying screaming nutjob (i.e. Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Little Nicky) and just doing a funny, but vulnerable character made this movie what it is. He also has dynamite chemistry with Drew Barrymore. A very good comedy.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
28 Days Later - R
|
|
The only real problem I have with zombie movies (other than the idiots who film them for $25) is that, really, there is not much room for originality. 28 Days Later is one of the very, very, very few zombie-esque movies that deliver a fresh idea with the rage infection. How they got those actors and actresses who got infected to act the way they did gave me cold chills for days. Most zombie movies make me laugh out loud hard and I love the carnage, but this one was entirely gripping. A top-notch cast also helped make this movie good. Cillian Murphy, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccelston and Naomi Harris are all very talented. I highly reccomend this one.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
The Big Lebowski - R
|
|
The Coen Brothers' are masters at developing odd, quirky, mirthy original characters. Their screenwriting and character generation is second to none in today's cinematic landscape. This movie is the epitome of that statement because, in all seriousness, The Big Lebowski is character-driven plot. There is no story, which makes it brilliant. Jeff Bridges' work as The Dude may be his best role and certainly has become his most iconic. I guess I related to this character more than I have any other movie character out there. I love bowling, white russians and once got into a fight with three Germans. I also dated a woman who became a porn star and have an ex-girlfriend named Maude who's an artist. I'm also a bit lazy at times. This is a fun, trippy and totally absurd movie, but damn I love it. It never gets old.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Batman Forever - PG-13
|
|
As I've said before, one of the 4 Batman movies made obsolete by Christopher Nolan's masterpieces. Of the four pre-Nolan Batman films, discounting Tim Burton's first effort with Keaton and Nicholson which had some cinematic merit, this one is maybe the most bearable in terms of watchability. Jim Carrey's Riddler was acceptable (seeing his junk in that ugly green leotard he was wearing was not). Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face looked like a cartoon character in comparison to Alan Eckart's Two Face from The Dark Knight. Val Kilmer's Bruce Wayne was dull, biut Nicole Kidman was simply stunning in this movie as the love interest so I guess it evens out. A bit. Definitely better than the abhorrently bad Batman Returns and Batman & Robin.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Kill Bill, Volume 2 - R
|
|
Though not the bloodbath of Volume I, this one was a very good movie in its own right. More cerebral in many aspects. You discover the backstory between Beatrix and Bill. You learn more about Beatrix's training. The battle between Beatrix and Elle (Darryl Hannah) is just not the best girlfight I've ever seen it's one of the best 1-on-1 fights in cinematic history. Tarentino shows off his best talents in this film because he takes away all the blood and gore and gives us an ending that is memorable. Made even more eerie with the passing of David Carradine. Watch both Volume I and 2 together.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Memoirs of a Geisha - PG-13
|
|
Surprisingly good with excellent cast and jaw-droppingly good cinematography and directoral work. One question, however. Why do they always cast Chinese actors and actresses to play Japanese characters???? Are the producers racist in thinking all Asians look a like? Because if that's the case then they're going to start a race war because the Chinese and Japanese look NOTHING alike. Or are there really no good Japanese actors and actresses out there? Either way it's kind of sad. Zhang Ziyi is a fantastic actress who has really blossomed since Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. She pulls the main character off brilliantly. Excellent supporting roles by Michelle Yeoh and the always-elegant Gong Li. Ken Watanabe may be one of the world's most underrated and overlooked actors. Excellent story and camera work. This movie is simply beautiful to look at.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
The Fast and the Furious - PG-13
|
|
I will admit the car chase/race scenes in this movie were some of the best to ever be filmed. If you can get past Vin Diesel and that no-talent hack Ja Rule trying to act and focus on the cars, Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez, then it's easier to accept this as a very good movie of the genre.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Saving Private Ryan - R
|
|
A wholheartedly powerful movie in many aspects. I was completely caught off guard by the opening D-Day landing scenes. Absolutely mind-blowing cinema. The movie slows down a bit afterward and develops its story, which is good. But then it ends with a flurry. Tom Hanks' Captain Miller says a line that still gives me goosebumps. "Earn this" The magnatude of what Miller's platoon just did to save Private Ryan sinks in and leaves you sitting there with tears in your eyes. Always a sign of excellent cinema.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Con Air - R
|
|
A fun popcorn movie that takes itself WAY too seriously. John Malkovich added some needed venom to the story and Ving Rhames is always an interesting character addition. The premise is a bit far-fetched. They don't transport prisoners this insane in a POS plane like that. The prison system may be broke, but give them a little credit for being able to spring for at least a coach-class ticket on a jet. I watched it once and that's enough.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Sleeping Beauty - G
|
|
The original Disney classic is one of my favorite old-school Disney movies because the primary villain, Mallificent, scared the living crap out of me when I was 8-years old. Of all the Disney villains this one was spared having the idiotic sidekicks. Mallificent was just plain nasty, which made this movie all the better.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
Ghost Ship - R
|
|
Boring. Boring and mashed potatoes and boring. Why did I mention mashed potatoes. Because even though mashed potatoes are delicious, I'd rather sit and watch a plate of mashed potatos sit on a table than watch this boring movie again. Should have gone straight to DVD.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
I Know What You Did Last Summer - R
|
|
The movie that unleashed Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts on the world. Scary? Not in the least bit. This movie (and it's sequel) were created for the sole purpose of watching Love Hewitt run around with V-neck sweaters and swimsuits. If you think I'm just being cynical watch them and count how many times you see her running around with her girls bouncing. That formula worked for Jayne Mansfield, Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe. Why not for Jennifer?
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
|
102 Dalmatians - G
|
|
Unnecessary sequel. Disney has raped its own brand so many times you'd think they'd be brought up on sexual assault charges.
|
November 27, 2009
|
|
|
N/A
|
8418 ratings
5234 reviews
