Rick's Talk

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Two Legged Horse

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

1. The White Ribbon - a gripping whodunnit (maybe?) from Michael Haneke. Its a film, like all of Haneke's, that simmers on the surface, boils underneath, and begs more quetions than it answers. This beautifully shot alegorical picture has more than meets the eye.

2. Ballast - a very, very low key film from Lance Hammer in a great debut. It's performances are pure, its story is poignant and touching. An all around great film, full of artistic authenticity.

3. Sin Nombre - another brilliant debut, this time From Cary Fukanaga, whom I've been in touch with a few times. Very much looking forward to his future work. Sin Nombre is a brutal depiction of the struggles of getting to America. It's an excellent companion to another great South American migration story, El Norte.

4. Le Silence de Lorna - another brilliant, soul searching essay of a film from the Dardenne brothers, who seem incapable of making a bad film.

5. Fantastic Mr Fox - Wes Anderson's first, and I'm guessing not last, foray into animation. The stop animation he uses calls back on history, and allows for the story to take front and centre. I loved it.

6. A Prophet - a gripping and gritty French prison drama. Within its small confines it reaches somehow for epic and achieves it. Powerful, powerful stuff.

7. Inglorious Basterds - Well Mr Tarantino, we've waited and you have given (unlike Mr James "chock a block special effects" Cameron). The Basterds were for some reason blasted at Cannes, but I thought it was an excellent and vibrantly told retelling of history. It's light fare, but that's Tarantino's bag, and for my money this is without a doubt his best work along with Pulp Fiction.

8. You, the living - a delightfully deadpan bit of absurdism from the master modern surrealist, Roy Andersson.

9. Antichrist - an uncomfortable, sometimes excessive but always artful bit of reverse theology. It's a movie with something to say (I think) that will leave most turned off. You better be ready for this one.

10. The Hurt Locker - the first great film about the Iraq War. It's a nail biting thriller, taking an objective position among the soldiers themselves. War is a drug, the film tells us, and we can see why for some people.

11. Bad Lieutenant - Is this a great work of art like Aguirre or Stroszek? Nah, but I'll be damned if it's not only of the most delightfully deranged movies of the year. It also doesn't hurt that Herzog creates a couple of the greatest scenes in recent memory (here's looking at you iguanas and dancing souls).

12. Two legged Horse - rom Samira Makhmalbaf, daughter of Mohsen Makhmalbaf, the great Iranian filmmaker. Its a tale of a well to do man who hires a boy, mentally handicapped boy to carry around his son who lost his legs in a landmine exlosion. The wealthier boy dominates his "two legged horse," selling rides on him, feeding him straw and more or less turning him into a horse. It's a tough film and certainly not meant as entertainment, but it's powerful and meaningful.

13. Goodbye Solo - another great film from Ramin Bahrani, this time about an immigrant cab driver who befriends an older man who hires him to drive him to a place where he will commit suicide

14. Big River Man - in a year where we've had to do without any pseudo documentaries from Werner Herzog, Big River Man will suffice. It chronicles the journy of Martin Strel of Slovenia as he swims the Amazon River. Heres a guy who's swam the Mississippi and the Yangtze. He must be in peak shape, but he's not. He's in his 50s, he's overweight, and may or may not (likely the former) have a drinking problem. The documentary I assume is aiming for ecstatic truth as Herzog puts it, but nevertheless chronicles a healthy dose of insanity. Great stuff.

15. Broken Embraces - another great collaboration between Pedro Almolvodar and his muse Penolope Cruz. What a rich and vibrant looking piece of work this is.



A few other films I really admired/enjoyed this year:

Crazy Heart - a great film about the archetypal fallen country and western singer trying to get his life back together. Great performance from Jeff Bridges in particular.

Precious - a film that has earned itself heaps of praise, and attached itself some big names AFTER it was made and released. Sure Oprah and Tyler Perry are "producers" but only have Lee Daniels and crew completed the film and had it released. They have nothing to do with the movie itself other than promotion. Nevertheless, a very strong film with very strong performances from its two leads (particularly Mo'nique).

Up in the Air - another gem from Jason Reitman

Vincere/Sweet Rush - two very admirable and very vibrant films from aging legends of the screen. Vincere is Marco Bellochio's story of Mussolini and his secret lover. Sweet Rush is a highly admirable film from aging Polish great Andrei Wadza that resonates with more experimentation and creativity than the great majority of young filmmakers today. Neither film is the directors best work, but both are admirable for their youthful vigor and granduer. Sweet Rush features moving monologues from Krystyna Janda recalling the real life death of her husband and frequent Wajda collaborator Edward Klosinski that are worth the price of admission alone.

Knowing - a movie that got crapped on by nearly every critic out there (minus Ebert who gave it 4 stars). I was skeptical but must admit that I throrougly enjoyed the film and found it to be very well done for the most part (minus Rose Byrne who seems only to know how to shriek terribly). I found it effective, and you gotta call a spade a spade!

Un prophète (A Prophet)

1. The White Ribbon - a gripping whodunnit (maybe?) from Michael Haneke. Its a film, like all of Haneke's, that simmers on the surface, boils underneath, and begs more quetions than it answers. This beautifully shot alegorical picture has more than meets the eye.

2. Ballast - a very, very low key film from Lance Hammer in a great debut. It's performances are pure, its story is poignant and touching. An all around great film, full of artistic authenticity.

3. Sin Nombre - another brilliant debut, this time From Cary Fukanaga, whom I've been in touch with a few times. Very much looking forward to his future work. Sin Nombre is a brutal depiction of the struggles of getting to America. It's an excellent companion to another great South American migration story, El Norte.

4. Le Silence de Lorna - another brilliant, soul searching essay of a film from the Dardenne brothers, who seem incapable of making a bad film.

5. Fantastic Mr Fox - Wes Anderson's first, and I'm guessing not last, foray into animation. The stop animation he uses calls back on history, and allows for the story to take front and centre. I loved it.

6. A Prophet - a gripping and gritty French prison drama. Within its small confines it reaches somehow for epic and achieves it. Powerful, powerful stuff.

7. Inglorious Basterds - Well Mr Tarantino, we've waited and you have given (unlike Mr James "chock a block special effects" Cameron). The Basterds were for some reason blasted at Cannes, but I thought it was an excellent and vibrantly told retelling of history. It's light fare, but that's Tarantino's bag, and for my money this is without a doubt his best work along with Pulp Fiction.

8. You, the living - a delightfully deadpan bit of absurdism from the master modern surrealist, Roy Andersson.

9. Antichrist - an uncomfortable, sometimes excessive but always artful bit of reverse theology. It's a movie with something to say (I think) that will leave most turned off. You better be ready for this one.

10. The Hurt Locker - the first great film about the Iraq War. It's a nail biting thriller, taking an objective position among the soldiers themselves. War is a drug, the film tells us, and we can see why for some people.

11. Bad Lieutenant - Is this a great work of art like Aguirre or Stroszek? Nah, but I'll be damned if it's not only of the most delightfully deranged movies of the year. It also doesn't hurt that Herzog creates a couple of the greatest scenes in recent memory (here's looking at you iguanas and dancing souls).

12. Two legged Horse - a painful and uncomfortable allegory from Samira Makhmalbaf, daughter of Mohsen Makhmalbaf, the great Iranian filmmaker. Its a tale of a well to do man who hires a boy, mentally handicapped boy to carry around his son who lost his legs in a landmine exlosion. Though there are scenes occasionally where the two almost bond, the wealthier boy dominates his "two legged horse," selling rides on him, feeding him straw and more or less turning him into a horse. It's a tough film and certainly not meant as entertainment, but it's powerful and meaningful.

13. Goodbye Solo - another great film from Ramin Bahrani, this time about an immigrant cab driver who befriends an older man who hires him to drive him to a place where he will commit suicide. It moves in ways you dont' necessarily see coming, but ones that make sense anyway.

14. Big River Man - in a year where we've had to do without any pseudo documentaries from Werner Herzog, Big River Man will suffice. It chronicles the journy of Martin Strel of Slovenia as he swims the Amazon River. Heres a guy who's swam the Mississippi and the Yangtze. He must be in peak shape, but he's not. He's in his 50s, he's overweight, and may or may not (likely the former) have a drinking problem. The documentary I assume is aiming for ecstatic truth as Herzog puts it, but nevertheless chronicles a healthy dose of insanity. Great stuff.

15. Broken Embraces - another great collaboration between Pedro Almolvodar and his muse Penolope Cruz. What a rich and vibrant looking piece of work this is.



A few other films I really admired/enjoyed this year:

Crazy Heart - a great film about the archetypal fallen country and western singer trying to get his life back together. Great performance from Jeff Bridges in particular.

Precious - a film that has earned itself heaps of praise, and attached itself some big names AFTER it was made and released. Sure Oprah and Tyler Perry are "producers" but only have Lee Daniels and crew completed the film and had it released. They have nothing to do with the movie itself other than promotion. Nevertheless, a very strong film with very strong performances from its two leads (particularly Mo'nique).

Up in the Air - another gem from Jason Reitman

Vincere/Sweet Rush - two very admirable and very vibrant films from aging legends of the screen. Vincere is Marco Bellochio's story of Mussolini and his secret lover. Sweet Rush is a highly admirable film from aging Polish great Andrei Wadza that resonates with more experimentation and creativity than the great majority of young filmmakers today. Neither film is the directors best work, but both are admirable for their youthful vigor and granduer. Sweet Rush features moving monologues from Krystyna Janda recalling the real life death of her husband and frequent Wajda collaborator Edward Klosinski that are worth the price of admission alone.

Knowing - a movie that got crapped on by nearly every critic out there (minus Ebert who gave it 4 stars). I was skeptical but must admit that I throrougly enjoyed the film and found it to be very well done for the most part (minus Rose Byrne who seems only to know how to shriek terribly). I found it effective, and you gotta call a spade a spade!

Toy Tiger - a boxing documentary on one of the greatest fighters to never get a shot at the title, Art Hafey. Now I'm a bit biased, I know Art well as he's a neighbor and worked at my high school when I was there. He was once ranked number 1 by all the top boxing magazines and ranking systems, even ahead of the champion in his weight class. Toy Tiger is a very indepth portrait of Art's career and the corruption of the boxing world in the 70s.

The White Ribbon (Das weiße Band)

Michael Haneke returns to his German roots in The White Ribbon, a beautifully made allegorical film. Set in the year leading into the breakout of World War I, it tells the story of tragic and violent events that take place in a small village. Haneke is telling a parable here, a sociological examination of how Germany was able to engulfed in Fascism.
The film is narrated by the village's school teacher, years later. He, as an outsider, is a witness to the strange events. It all begins with the village doctor's riding accident. As he returns home, his horse trips over a rope tied between trees. His injuries remove will remove him from the first half of the film. Soon the entire village seems enraptured by the accident. There is a large and diverse cast of villagers. The doctors son and daughter, his nurse and mistress, and her son, a boy with down syndrome. The village Baron - a man not well liked but respected, and the employer of half the village - and his wife and son, Sigi. They have a nanny, Eva; she too is an outsider, like the doctor. And there is the local pastor's family. Of their many children, two are central characters - a teenage boy, Martin, and daughter, Clara. The pastor is a fundamentalist, stern and harsh. There is also another family who have just had a new son, and the tenant farmer and his sons.
The doctor's accident is forgotten in a few days after another more tragic event occurs. The tenant farmers wife has died in an accident at the Baron's mill. The eldest son is enraged, and wants justice to be done as he blames the baron himself. The father is also angry, but refuses to blame the Baron, or at least take any actions. He too works for him, and knows he cannot cross the Baron if he wishes to have food on the table.
Other events occur in due time throughout the film - the Baron's son goes missing and is found tied up and beaten; a barn is set ablaze, and a suicide. Notes left point to someone carrying out ritualistic punishments. The film is in some ways an engaging whodunnit. Haneke is too mature a director to actually give us the answers. We suspect, and probably know, who the perpetrators are early on in the film. And the school teacher comes to the same conclusion himself, but Haneke never actually confirms or denies. There is also the storyline between the teacher and the nanny. He courts her, and eventually goes to her father to ask his permission, only to be told he must wait one year.
Haneke's direction is superb. He never makes a wrong step. The film is shot in stunning black and white. It's impossible to imagine the film in colour - it would have just been too distracting. The film also benefits from all around excellent performances. After the critical disappointment of Americanizing his Funny Games, Haneke is back on terra firma. The film has so far been lauded and took home the prestigious Palm D'Or at this years Cannes Film Festival. And rightfully so. It would be a crime if The White Ribbon doesn't take home the Best Foreign Film Oscar, but a lot of crime goes on at the Oscars. Of the films so far released this year, The White Ribbon is undoubtedly the best I've seen.
The White Ribbon is a rich and complex film, it layers and layers its story. The title refers to the Pastor tying a white ribbon to his two eldest children, Martin and Clara, to remind them of innocence and purity. The film is also subtitled however, and it is that title that really resonates: A German Children's Tale (roughly translated). The children of the film are the future pillars of German Fascism, but the adults of The White Ribbon are the foundation upon which they stand.

Australia

Pretty good movie who reminded me of the wizard of oz and gone with the wind. Acting performances where breathtaking and eventho im not a big fan of director Baz Luhrmann i must say that eh did an excellentj job. Except that 3 times it felted that the movie was going to end.

The Music Man

Meredith Wilson's sparkling filmization of the landmark Broadway musical about a traveling con artist salesman and the small town he dupes. Rousing Americana's best asset is Robert Preston's memorable performance as Professor Harold Hill. His sunny portrayal brightens every scene he's in. Virtually one musical number after another, there are moments of the sublime ("Seventy-Six Trombones", "Till There Was You") and the expendable ("Gary, Indiana"). The latter contributes to film's almost unbearable 151 minute running time. A bit of editing and perhaps a less stagebound production would have made this a near-perfect adaptation. Nevertheless those minor infractions are far outweighed by the joyous singing and dancing that is on display in this most appealing musical.

Public Enemies

This was an excellent gangster drama, lead by Johnny Depp as John Dillinger with an outstanding supporting cast of fellow gangsters and desperadoes, but what really made the film work were the "G" Men pursuing Dillinger. Christian Bale was perfectly cast as "G" Man Melvin Purvis, who ran the Chicago Office of the FBI. Billy Crudup was also great as J. Edgar Hoover, portrayed as a ruthless administrator willing to stoop to any depth to catch Dillinger, including rounding up family members and deporting friends of Dillinger unless they were willing to cooperate. None of the Oliver Stone fantasies about Hoover in a dress, but the Hoover who ran the Department with an iron fist.
Michael Mann deserves an Oscar nomination for Best Director and possibly Screenplay (he co-wrote).
A great film,don't miss this one.

Julie & Julia

Sweetie and I went to see Julie and Julia. What can I say its a great movie. Its about food, love, blogging, perseverance, and loving life.
Meryl Streep steals the show in her portrayal of Julia Child. She is full of life, very animated and not ready to take no for an answer from anybody. I think that Meryl Streep could win an Oscar for this performance.
Stanley Tucci plays the perfect, patient, understanding, supportive husband. Amy Adams does a great job as the frustrated young wife and blogger who seeks to do all of Child's recipes in the course of a year. Chris Messina is the supportive, but sometimes, not so patient husband.

One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest

This movie is brilliant! It stars Jack Nicholson as McMurphy, a man that pretends to be crazy to get out of going to prison. He gets sent to a mental institution and finds out about Nurse Ratched, a strict dictator of the patients in the institution. She however, is not so happy about his new look on how things should be. McMurphy makes new friends and goes on many exciting touching, hilarious and downright amazing adventures.
This movie is a classic and will make you laugh, make you cry and keep you gripped until the very end. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest has some great acting performances from Jack Nicholson, Danny De Vito, Brad Dourif, Christopher Lloyd and Louise Fletcher.

Frankie & Johnny

Very refreshing to see Al Pacino in a romantic comedy role. He is superb!!!! Al Pacino is one of my favourite actors and being used to see him in intense and controlled roles. It is a nice change to see this different side of him in an acting role. Mr. Pacino handles it adeptly with wit and charm. The on-screen chemistry between Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer is marvelous! They work well together and their roles and actions are very believable in the film.
It is a nice change of pace to see two regular people falling in love and not having all the answers.

Down by Law

Down by Law is a comedy about three "innocent" men breaking out of prison. The important thing is not the escape, it's the trail of situations that they leave behind as they go. Jarmusch's humor consists on portraying with amazing naturality the awkwardness of the interaction between these three inmates who may or may not like each other very much, but who are too concerned (or at least so they think) with safekeeping their privacy and getting out to give each other much thought.

Cool is a basic word. And a basic theme. Not only are these scenes written and filmed with a great sense of 'coolness', which translates as the perfect distance between the spectators and the characters, but the two American characters themselves are consistently preoccupied about remaining, at all times, cool.

Jack (John Lurie) and Zack (Tom Waits) live in New Orleans; Jack is a pimp and Zack is a DJ. Both seem to lead lives that could be very torrid, but they are, on the contrary, kind of bored with them. In a very Jarmusch style, they need a change. And they find it traveling, although not quite as they might have expected: both get accused of crimes they didn't commit. They could defend themselves, but they don't, because they just don't care, so they get sent to prison. They share a cell in which their two strong-minded personas clash over and over, until an odd Italian named Roberto -the one real criminal of the trio- gets locked in with them.

Roberto's loud, careless personality gives Jack and Zack a jolt, and puts them in a concealed state of complicity to amuse themselves with him -but not too much, of course. However, soon they find that Roberto has a plan to escape. And so they break out and start a tedious yet hilarious journey across the marshes and dirt roads of Louisiana. All the while wearing suits that read Orleans Parish Prison.

The truth is that Jack, Zack and Roberto don't appear to regard each other very much. They don't show any signs of really caring, except when they're caught up in discussions about absurd subjects. Their journey develops as they make sudden, impulsive decisions about where to go after a fight. These are the moments that can make you laugh out loud: not quite the situations, but the attitudes, their ridiculous efforts to project leadership, and how they always end up getting pulled together into disaster despite their wish to go separate ways.

Of course, by the end, there's a bond between them that many miles of disagreements couldn't possibly have prevented. But the great thing about how Jarmusch depicts this is that he never addresses it directly. It shows by the end in the way they insult each other -they couldn't just all of a sudden engage in a group hug!

Without a doubt, Down by Law has a terrific screenplay. Roberto Begnini has the funniest, most absurd lines, but Jack and Zack's characters have all the necessary bite and self-consciousness -and cool- to become equally engaging characters. However, almost the same amount of credit has to be given to Begnini, Tom Waits, and John Lurie, for their excellent facial expressions, comedic timing, and overall smoothness. Although one could probably guess Jarmusch tailored the characters especially for his friends, it isn't less true that they reciprocated the honor with their best performances.

There's a great deal of talent involved in this movie, combined -fortunately- with elegance and a clear head. John Lurie's music, Tom Waits's songs, and the brilliant cinematography make this film a stylistic gem. It's so helplessly Jarmusch. So helplessly cool. An entertaining story of human interaction, just like Stranger in Paradise, but with a slightly more cheerful, or at least defined, outlook.

An Education

Carey Mulligan gives an outstanding performance that is at times sweet and smart and other times annoying and stupid, which is exactly how someone going through the motions at such young age acts all the time. She's a natural who really makes you feel the uncertainty of her character and makes her relatable both in wise and wrong decisions.

Watchmen

Based on the Alan Moore graphic novel, Watchmen is set in an alternate reality where costumed "heroes" were created as state sanctioned vigilantes to fight the mob and who helped the US win the Vietnam war and get tricky Dicky elected for 5 successive terms as president. Another superhero movie with a difference, it sticks firmly to the moral grey areas, showing these "heroes" as human and fallible. The core of the film is provided by Rorschach's noir style investigation into the murder of fascistic black ops hero The Comedian, set to the backdrop of a skewedhistory and political situation. It all makes for very interesting viewing and tinges the usual stylized action and spectacle with a nicely grimy undercurrent. Snyder's overly stylized visuals which I found rather empty and irritating in 300 work perfectly here with some meaty characters and plot to back it all up and Rorschach makes for an interesting and charismatic anti-hero. Definitely up with the best of the modern style hero movies, Watchmen is intelligent, dark and although I wouldn't describe it as "exciting", it's perfectly paced over its 2 and a half hour length. Considered by most to be unfilmable, Snyder has managed to pull off a bit of a coup with this one and created a superhero film that ranks amongst the best.

Die Hard

5 Reasons Die Hard Is The Best Christmas Movie Ever Made!!

#5 The Spirit of Giving
Giving and charity are the central points of the holiday, and many Christmas movies reflect that: In A Christmas Story, all Ralphie wants is a Red Ryder BB Gun. He is consumed by this desire, despite the inherent dangers of the gift, because he is only thinking of himself. Eventually his wish is granted, but it quickly turns on him, thus illustrating that selfishness is not the true meaning of the holiday.
Similarly, in Die Hard, all that our protagonist, John McClane, wants is a peaceful holiday with his estranged wife; he too is only thinking of himself. But, unlike the selfish Hans Gruber who only wants to take, McClane eventually learns that giving is its own reward? in that he bakes a lovely bullet casserole for every god damn foreigner he sees. He becomes so charitable that, by the end of the film, he even presumably gives it hard and fast to his ex-wife in the back of the limo, despite her most closely resembling an orangutan with a jerry curl.

#4 Thankfulness
In It?s a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart learns that, despite all of his economic woes, he is both loved and needed in his community. By the end of the film, Stewart finds that his life really does have meaning and importance by virtue of his worth to the community around him. Though he faces some personal trials, Stewart realizes that it?s the intangible things - love, friendship, and faith - which are truly important.
In Die Hard, John McClane faces his own trials by virtue of his fear of flying. A nearby passenger with a dim grasp on foot anatomy advises McClane to toss away his shoes in favor of ?making fists with his toes? as an antidote to the fear, and he reluctantly takes the man?s advice. After callously abandoning all footwear, McClane suddenly learns that what he?s taken for granted all his life is what he needs most?when he has to run barefoot across fucking glass!
Both It?s A Wonderful Life and Die Hard espouse the same philosophy, that you shouldn?t take things - yourself, your value to the community, shoes - for granted, it?s just that Die Hard does it in a much more effective way: With extravagant torture! A Charlie Brown Christmas doesn?t teach Charlie Brown the meaning of the holiday by putting lit cigarettes out on his face until he learns to appreciate warmth, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer doesn?t that learn that everybody is special in their own right by being thrown into Auschwitz, and The Santa Clause doesn?t teach Tim Allen that he should?ve loved his son more by skinning him alive and covering him in ants.
Die Hard is simply willing to go much further - willing to violently ream its characters in every orifice of their soul, if necessary - just to impart the true meaning of Christmas.

#3 The Importance of Family
All notions of giving and receiving aside, many movies hold that the real purpose of Christmas is to emphasize togetherness and family. We are here to appreciate our loved ones and bask in the glory of community, they say, regardless of our material possessions. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas learns this lesson when, after stealing all the presents in Whoville, still finds the Whos singing - actually singing! - and just grateful to be together on this holy day. Through the adversity of others, the Grinch learns family is most important, and his heart grows three sizes that day? at which point he immediately drops dead from an over-enlarged heart.
In Die Hard, the giant blonde terrorist, Karl, learns that all the untraceable bearer bonds in the world are not nearly as important as his dear brother. Unfortunately, he learns this after John McClane casually murders his sibling in the face until dead. Karl is so overcome by vengeance and grief at this realization that he abandons all thoughts of self-preservation and dies futilely trying to kill Bruce Willis. He was so torn apart by the loss of his family that he wasn?t thinking logically, and was killed much easier. So you see, John McClane also knows family is the most important thing; that?s why he makes sure to take them out first.

#2 All Glory Be To Christ
Christmas is, by and large, a celebration of the birth of Jesus. It is a day to give all acknowledgement and glory to the lord. Bruce Willis screams ?Jesus fuckin? Christ!? like eighty times in Die Hard. That counts. Mark that shit.

#1 Faith And Miracles
Which brings us to the final theme of the holidays: Faith. Whether that faith is in Our Lord and Fuckin? Savior, Jesus F. Christ, the goodness of human nature, or even just the existence of Santa Claus - belief in a greater force is an integral part of the Christmas experience. For example, in Miracle on 34th Street, Susan Walker learns that Santa Claus is real, because her unwavering belief in him makes him so.
Die Hard, likewise, is absolutely riddled with Christmas Miracles: Hans Gruber has absolute faith that the FBI will cut the electricity to Nakatomi Plaza and they do it right on schedule, Argyle has faith that he?ll be the first jive-talkin? black sidekick in cinematic history not to die a horrible, disposable death, and he is (controversially) still alive as the credits roll, while John McClane regularly demonstrates remarkable faith that the laws of physics will temporarily suspend themselves every time he calls somebody a motherfucker, and he pulls off so many reality-bending shenanigans I?m almost certain he was using hacks.

Unlike other, slightly less terrorist-based Christmas movies, however, in Die Hard having faith let?s you bungee jump through explosions on a fire hose, hurl office chairs that detonate with the force of an atomic bomb, and hang Germans with lengths of industrial chain. Unless there?s a deleted scene in Miracle where Susan Walker parachutes through an inferno on the American Flag, Die Hard?s faith makes all other faiths look like pussies.

So when it comes time to choose that Christmas classic for the family to gather ?round this year, take your lessons from John McClane and make it Die Hard. If you run into any resistance, simply strip down to a tank top, accuse everybody present of copulating with their mothers, and shoot somebody two dozen times in the groin. Bruce Willis has done it in literally every movie he?s been in, and look at him! He grew up to be Bruce Willis!

Thanks to Robert Brockway of cracked.com for this wonderful article!

The House of Mirth

I watched this shit with my moms yesterday. I'm sorry to say that it was boring as Heeeeell. No one in their right mind can say that Gillian Anderson did a good job in this jawner. It was just as fun as watching Winona Ryder in 'The Age of Innocence'.. Poor, poor acting.
Dan Aykroyd is so out of place, he goes out and then back in again, if you follow me.
Eric Stoltz is the only one that shines.
But that's just one mans opinion.. go make one for yourself!

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

I have never seen an animated movie have so much fun before. It hast non-stop wit and laughs and the characters are all very endearing, great voice cast, the food looks delicious and it is a wild, joyous ride all throughout. Love Anna Faris, adore Bill Hader and had an ear to ear smile the entire time.

Moon

This one-man show is worth all the praise it can get.

The ambience is eerie, but never gets awkward.
Sam Rockwell is amazing as always. The man never gives a dull performance!
I'm really looking forward to Duncan Jones next film.

(500) Days of Summer

So, after so many movies that have exploited the archetype of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, this film finally shows us that other side of the desirable, unattainable woman that makes us gloomy men want to live again; I'd call this film an anti-Garden State of sorts, as well as an anti-romantic comedy, despite being funny and romantic (in a soul-croushing, dreams-shattering kinda way). Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the hapless romantic who follows Zooey Deschanel (playing Zooey Deschanel) who wants nothing to do with relationships. Though on paper it might sound like a simple reverse of the roles, the film manages to bring both life and a sense of reality into these people because we've all been a Tom or a Summer and the type of relationship this film portrays is the one I believe we get stuck in the most. Mark Webb does a fine job at adding his own indie/music video touches and quirks without drowning the film with it making the all-around experience one worthwhile. To laugh, cry, think and reflect, (500) Days of Summer is a breath of fresh to a genre in the worst decline possible and a nice alternative to all the other summer fodder.

The Messenger

For 10 years I have been saying that Ben Foster is a natural talent, probably the best one of his generation, and everytime he releases a film I go "maybe this is the one that puts him on the map"; they never do, but he still continues to amaze and engage me with every performance.