Stella's Talk

Porn Star - The Legend of Ron Jeremy

La Momia azteca contra el robot humano (The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy)

With a movie title like that, how could I pass it up? By conventional standards this movie is horrible. By certain camp standards, it can be a lot of fun watching with friends. It has all of the right ingredients; a mad scientist named Dr. Krupp a.k.a. The Bat, a mummy looking for lost love, a damsel in distress, and a hero with a "Just For Men" hair-do. Most of the film is told in a series of flashbacks, which really doesn't matter since not much is happening on the screen at any given time. It's obvious the filmmakers tried to reach the feature-length running time by stretching out dialogue and other parts. The robot that Dr. Krupp creates is one of the most ludicrous screen creations I have ever seen. The robot legs (or robot pants) would seem to be the cheapest looking inventions ever, until the film features close-ups of the actual robot itself. Just when one thinks it can't get any better, there's the actual fight between the mummy "Popoca" and the robot . Too bad that most of the final thirty minutes of the film is spent with The Bat talking about how he will finally defeat the mummy and bragging about the robot he has made.

Overall, the Aztec Mummy trilogy (Curse of the Aztec Mummy, Attack of the Aztec Mummy and Robot vs. Aztec Mummy) are disappointing relics of Mexican cinema, but can still be enjoyable in a juvenile, brainless way. What these films lack in technical mastery, they make up for in cheap 1950s pop culture zeal ideal for late night viewing.

Is this a good movie? No.

Did I enjoy it? Definitely.

John Tucker Must Die

Death is a bit harsh but I don't think anyone involved with this production should ever work in film again! This film is about as believable as a High School having its own TV station. If John Tucker had gone to a British comprehensive, he'd have been killed long ago!

The Room

Billed as a 'dark comedy', one gets the distinct impression that the laughs are purely unintentional. The true value of this 'film' is that it gets worse as it goes along, which actually makes it better. Ed Wood would be so proud!

Where the Wild Things Are

A troubled, rambunctious boy travels to an imaginary land where wild beasts anoint him their king, but discovers that socialization is a struggle even in his imagination. It's incredible how Maurice Sendak's drawings are brought to life and there are several wondrous scenes, but it's really more for adults than children: the lack of focus in the plot will bore them, and the symbolic exploration of a child's psyche will go right over their heads.

A Serious Man

I am not sure if a fully understand this film but I still enjoyed it. Like some films by the Coen brothers it really makes you think. There is a good lead performance by Michael Stuhlbarg. If you like the Coen brothers then definitely check this film out.

Sleuth

I Am Legend

Just saw this with half an eye again. Being up, doing nothing at 3.30 am will make you watch anything.
But seeing this again really puzzled me as to how I could give this two stars. I made some comments about acting and some other bullshit which probably had merit. But as I sat through my nightshift rewatching this, I got angrier and angrier. Twice have hollywood tried adapting Richard Matheson's sci-fi gem 'I Am Legend' and twice have they pissed all over him. How can they claim this is inspired by his book when they have turned it around and made it about the exact opposite of what the book tries to convey?

So this film is worth not even half a star. It's worth zero. Instead I will now recommend the book for you guys. If you haven't read it you should do it before reading this 'review' since I will reveal some things best left unknown before you read it to prove why this film stinks. Seriously. Read it.
The book starts after the world has succumbed to a disease that has turned every human into vampires. Everyone but Robert Neville who is immune. He spends his nights locked in his house that he has fortified and the vampires come to this house as he is, obviously, a rarity they'd like to feed upon. But at day he is the hunter. He scavenge for resources and food and hunts for vampires of course. He both wants to kill them but also study them as he hopes for a cure. He even has to study the vampires of legend as he knows theres a possibility that Dracula and his kin have really existed.
But as he does this he becomes the boogeyman of the nightmares. As the vampires evolve from the diseased bloodthirsty beasts into 'civilized' creatures that lives in cities and make laws to keep order, Neville becomes the monster that strikes at 'night' when they sleep. Killing them in their sleep, dragging them into the streets/sun so they die while the other vampires watch in fear from the shadows, kidnapping children or parents to experiment on them. In the end the vampires are the frightened mob, like the one that storm castle frankenstein in the films, attacking that which they fear or do not understand.
So in the end, when Neville stands trial and are sentenced, it even makes sense to him because he is the monster. He is Dracula. He is legend...
So, even though we know humans are 'humane', is he in his right to try and destroy a new civilization that rises when ours has fallen? Even if we know it to be evil? And that is what this film could have done so beautifully in it's time with Bush fucking around on his high horse forcing his good ideals and righteous ways down the throat of others.
And then they make this simpleton film with some cocked up 'I am legend because I save humanity'. Put aside that I'm not a big fan of humanity, this film could have been beautiful even to a philanthropist who I am sure could have appreciated the irony had it been made in Mathesons image.
So... if you've seen the film and hated it, I beg of you, read the book. It deserves the vindication!

Capitalism: A Love Story

Muckraker Michael Moore examines the mortgage crisis, the financial bailout, and the growing gap between the rich and the pure [sic], and concludes that capitalism is pure evil. Manipulative socialist propaganda that is intermittently entertaining and exposes some concrete injustices, but it seems irresponsible to deal with such complex and consequential issues in a 2 hour rant without any fact checking, meaningful context, or dissenting opinions. Whenever you see character actor Wallace Shawn brought in as the economics expert in a documentary, you should sense something is wrong.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

I remember talk to my good flixster friend Riley about "Up" and we mentioned that men don't cry, we just have mist coming out of our eyes during movies. Well ladies and gentlemen, you could be mother f*cking love child of but your going to weep like a 5 year old who just stubbed his toe watching "Precious". The best way to describe this film is a poetic sukerpunch of a masterpiece. Yes I get it the story has been done a million times. Poor, illiterate black girl trying to make life better for herself but trust me nothing prepares you for the sheer power of this film.
Part of the reason for this is that when you look at the cast and director clearly showing a love for the novel and a personal connection with the character that it brings out unforeseen power in everyone involved. Seriously how in all hell does the star of "Glitter" and the host if "Charm School" pull this off? Simply put then cut the bull sh*t out of their performances. Mariah Carey pulling a complete 180 degree turn, proves to have the subtlety and fearlessness that suggests that personally makes "Glitter" nothing but a real bad memory in my eyes as far as her career goes. Also props to Lenny Kravitz for a very solid acting debut.
However, every year there is one performance, that just blows everything else out there, like a hurricane of performance. This year it has to be Mo'Nique as the abusive mother. Why because anyone can play the b*tch from hell and make her an absolute monster and that would be fine. What she does here is go past all of that and finds the tormented and tragic soul Mary and makes us even sympathize to a certain degree. Its a risk not even the majority of Hollywood's A-list is willing to take but Mo'Nique runs with it and excels.
Though lets not take the credit from two less showy but equally powerful performances. Paula Patton is given the most difficult job here, providing the source of light in a film that is about as dark as an Alaskian night and without the big oscar moments is sure to be the most overlooked performance of the year. Which is unfortunate because she is amazing here, there is nothing sugar coated and certain about her teacher role but its her drive and hope that sets up the film's spirit.
Though none of this would be any good if the lead did not deliver and Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidbie is something that cannot even be described, it simply has to be seen.
As for director Lee Daniels, I got to admit this is a huge surprise for me. Not being a big fan of "Shadowboxer" but what he does here is amazing. What is essentially a combination of a black "A Serious Man" and a Tyler Perry, Daniels delivers an amazing understanding for both the darkness and beauty of life and none of it feels either corny or preachy but not overly dark and hopeless. Its amazing accomplishment and I'll be the one of many pushing for the academy to give this man the credit he deserves. As everyone else involved in this masterpiece.
So how do I end this review, simply put "Precious" is not a film I recommend you see or hint that it maybe worth your time depending on your mood. This is a film you MUST see! Seriously can't find a screening near you I'll look, I'll pick you up, hell if it comes down to it I'll even pay for your ticket. Just don't miss this movie!

Princess Mononoke (Mononoke-hime)

Batoru rowaiaru II: Chinkonka (Battle Royale II)

What in the shit happened here?

When veteran director Kinji Fukasaku died during the making of Requiem, his son Kenta took up the reins. Does it ever show. One can't help but compare the film to its' predecessor which focused on the personal dynamics of the students and left the audience to draw their own conclusions as to what the film had to say. The dark humor and social commentary in the first film (which can still be debated) are replaced by highly cartoonish action and even sillier interaction. Also, we have Beat Takeshi's "wearied school-teacher" character replaced by Riki Takeuchi, who looks as if he's stepped off a tour bus with rap group Public Enemy. His acting is just too over-the-top and without any emotional depth to be taken seriously. His scenes would be perfect in director Takashi Miike's tongue-in-cheek action flicks but in this film, it's a waste of credibility.

Some points are awarded to the editing and the rhythm of the film. Camerawork is nice and you can say that too about the sound design. I'm sure this looked really good on paper, but without a strong director at the helm, you end up with results like this.

Battle Royale With Cheese.

Michael Jackson's This Is It