| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Outlander - R | December 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Something, Something, Something, Dark Side - Unrated |
Every bit as mediocre and disappointing as Family Guy's first spoof, Blue Harvest. The dialogue is made of about 70% FG characters just quoting the original film verbatim, and the other 30% is their jokes, the vast majority of which fall completely flat. There were about 5-6 genuine laughs in the entire show - One laugh every 10 minutes? NOT a good ratio.
Even the animation is (once again) lazy - even by Family Guy standards. Any shots of spaceships, etc were just traced from the original film - no effort at making it their own. No, they just traced over entire scenes. They could learn a lot from Robot Chicken - whose Star Wars spoofs are 1000 times funnier. |
December 12, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Princess and the Frog - G | Full Review soon... | December 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Home on the Range - PG | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Brother Bear - G | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Beauty and the Beast - G | December 11, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Zombieland - R |
It's easy to, as many people have, immediately start comparing this film to Shaun of the Dead, but it's really unfair to simplify it so much. Just because they are both comedies that deal with zombies does not make it a knock-off.
No, this film is original, well-done, and a helluva lot of fun. As a comedy it succeeds completely, with plenty of laughs from beginning to end. Extra points for a hilarious cameo appearance (which I won't spoil here - seriously, avoid reviews until you see the film and beware of spoilers!) And even as just a zombie film it works on every level. I'd say it already ranks as one of my all-time top three zombie flicks. Ruben Fleischer is going to be a director to watch in the next few years. |
December 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Angels & Demons - PG-13 |
They're right, you know - some books just should not be made into movies. Why? Because in a case like this, a boring, self-indulgent book makes for a boring, self-indulgent movie.
I had thought they would learn from the mistakes of the first film, but it would seem there's nothing they can do to overcome weak source material. Once again, this movie is two hours of blatant exposition speeches, strung together with unlikely puzzle-solving by Robert Langdon (who conveniently knows more about Vatican history than anyone at the Vatican), and sprinkled with short forced "action" segments to try to keep the audience awake. Ewan McGregor was the best thing about this film, but he's too good for this. Likewise, I can't blame Tom Hanks (or Ron Howard) for wanting a franchise of their own for steady work and paychecks, but they deserve better than this bore of a series. |
December 7, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Funny People - R | December 6, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Constantine - R | December 5, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Crimson Tide - R | December 5, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Terminator Salvation - PG-13 |
(updated) Let's get this out of the way first - This is NOT "T4". This is "Future War" #1. It is the first in a new, separate series of films that happens to have connections to the earlier trilogy. If you keep that in mind when seeing this, you'll enjoy it much more. But I know a lot of people aren't going to like this, because they are going in expecting it to be just like the others.
A lot of people are dumping on McG. Yes, he has a dumb nickname, and yes he made the atrocious Charlie's Angels movies, but he has shown some talent in other projects. People are too critical of anyone but Cameron doing these films, but as Cameron himself pointed out, fans were worried when he inherited the "Alien" franchise from Ridley Scott much like McG has to follow in Cameron's footsteps. The direction here is fine. The casting choices are a bit of a mixed bag. Anton Yelchin is surprisingly the best of the group as Kyle Reese. I like Bryce Dallas Howard, but she's barely in it, nor is Helena Bonham Carter (what was the point?). Christian Bale, while doing a fine job, didn't add much to the role. Anyone could have played it here (and the "gruff" voice he uses for his action fims is getting a bit old). Same for Sam Worthington. He's fine in the role, but nothing special. He's become the latest "it" actor Hollywood wants to shove down our throats (this, James Cameron's Avatar, the Clash of the Titans remake), but I haven't yet seen anything to merit the hype. The biggest disappointment is the writing. Rather than just give us the humans vs. machines war we wanted, they decide to introduce a "good" terminator, and have the story focus WAAAAAY too much on him. Big mistake. Overall, this may not have everything we all hoped for in the "Future War" film, but it's an okay start. Let's see where it goes from here... |
December 3, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Ninja Assassin - R |
The 11 year-old kid inside of me has been waiting all his life for a great ninja movie... but he'll have to keep waiting. What could have been a great film is instead a great disappointment.
Bloody and violent would work well in a movie like this, but here they've made it over-the-top and cartoonish, which really detracts from the film. There was far too much obvious CG - especially in terms of blood and weapons. The filmmakers also became far too obsessed with one weapon in particular (essentially a blade on a long chain) and 90% of the action is just him whipping that around - I' feel like Im not watching a ninja, I'm watching Indiana Jones with a bullwhip. Too much backstory and the pointless involvement of Naomie Harris' character also really cripple the film. But the biggest problem is the action. Behind-the-scenes videos like this one (watch the whole thing!) had me so excited for this film. But any impressive acrobatics and fight choreography there might have been has been neutered by darkness and over-editing. Ninja movies are always fun, but this one fell far short of what it could have been. |
November 30, 2009 | N/A | |||
| 2012 - PG-13 |
Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla...Nobody but Nobody does end-of-the-world mass destruction like Roland Emmerich. The man has certainly found his niche. He has a formula, and 2012 is no different. It essentially boils down to 30 minutes of character setup followed by two straight hours of destructo-porn - just money shot after money shot after money shot (unfortunately almost all of which were shown in the trailers).
Is it believable? HELL no. Much of it borders on ludicrous. There are scenes of the characters outrunning nature that make Day After Tomorrow's laughable "outrunning the cold air" scene seem downright realistic. But is it fun? Yes. You know what you're getting into going into an Emmerich film, and he delivers exactly that. A cast of great actors including John Cusack, Chiwetol Ejiofor, and Oliver Platt really helps to give the film what little weight it has, despite the cliched dialogue. |
November 30, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Jersey Girl - PG-13 | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Last Samurai - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Confidence - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Training Day - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Amelie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain) - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| U-571 - PG-13 | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Kissing A Fool - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Mask of Zorro - PG-13 | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Saving Private Ryan - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Shakespeare in Love - R | November 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Fools Rush In - PG-13 | November 29, 2009 | N/A |
2287 ratings
169 reviews
