| Movie | Rating | Review | Date | Your Rating | Match | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sunshine Cleaning - R | November 7, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Fired Up - PG-13 | Surprisingly entertaining. Don't write this off as a "cheerleader movie". It's actually more geared towards guys, and I laughed quite a bit. It's not art, nor does it pretend to be. It's just fun. The plot? Oh, it's totally predictable. The cast? No WAY are 90% of them high school students, but it's still fun. Eric Christian Olsen is a very funny guy who deserves to be getting more comedic roles. | November 6, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Away We Go - R | November 6, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| The Open Road - PG-13 | Timberlake and Bridges' performances are good, but the story is slow and rather unteresting. | November 3, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Monster Squad - PG-13 | I'm not sure how I went 20 years without seeing this one. I only thought to watch it now because I just found out it was (co-)written by Shane Black (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Last Boyscout, Lethal Weapon). It seems like just the kind of thing I would have loved as a kid. As it is, though, seeing it for the first time at this age, it's a fun kid flick, but nothing more. There's some bad acting - some REALLY bad acting, but who cares in something like this, right? It's just cheesy, mindless, (very) 80's fun. Unfortunately, it's not even very good by 80's cheese standards... and it loses some additional points for shamelessly imitating Goonies and also E.T. in several scenes. | October 30, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Shaun of the Dead - R | October 29, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Scream 3 - R | October 28, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Scream 2 - R | October 28, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Paranormal Activity - R | Don't believe the hype! There is not one SINGLE scary moment in this entire film. It is 100 minutes of watching a couple hang out at home, with an occasional slamming door or knocking. So if that's all it takes to terrify you, then more power to ya, but otherwise this is just another case of manufactured (and wholly undeserved) hype. How anyone thought this was a) a good film or b) scary at all is completely beyond me. | October 27, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Night of the Living Dead - Unrated |
THIS is considered a classic? WOW. This one belongs high on the list of most overated movies of all time. After all these years, I finally watched this film, and it was still too soon.
There is NOTING scary about this film. The zombies just looked like old people shuffling around on the lawn. Is this supposed to be a comedy? There is no menace, no terror, no tension.... just a whole lot of bad acting, bad camerawork, bad FX makeup, bad music... If I didn't know better, I'd say it was meant as a spoof of horror films. People bash horror films, especially most modern horror films. But I will say that even the worst one made in the past ten years looks like an Oscar winner compared to this. And don't give me those lines about "it was the first" or "it was groundbreaking at the time." Just because something had to be the first, doesn't excuse it for being horrible. ....and oh yeah, I'll take modern day fast zombies over these laughable "zombie shuffle" ones any day. |
October 27, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Couples Retreat - PG-13 | October 18, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| A Perfect Getaway - R |
I can't review this film without hinting at MAJOR SPOILERS, so consider yourselves warned.... Still here? okay.
Why does every thriller feel it has to have a big "twist"? What could have been a decent flick is completely thrown away in favor of a lame twist that not only can we see coming a mile away, but that was made even more obvious by the TV commercials touting its big twist. And once again, the surprise is one that makes many earlier scenes make no sense whatsoever. Worse still is the movie's wink-wink self-awareness, as the characters discuss a movie's need for Act II twists and red herrings. All these attempts to be clever and original have exactly the opposite effect and kill the movie. Technically, it's a fine film. The direction works, the acting is sufficient, and best of all, the setting is beautiful - hell, it made me want to jump on a plane to Hawaii. Too bad the script was such a waste. |
October 17, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Drag Me to Hell - PG-13 |
Drag Me To Hell has its share of genuine creepiness and chills. For most of the first half of the film, I was fairly impressed. It's refreshing to have a genuinely effective horror film that isn't all about gore. But unfortunately, there are overly cartoonish moments (and they occur more frequently as the film goes on) that would feel right at home in some of Raimi's earlier works, but here they clash with the tone of the rest of the film and feel completely out of place. Moments like these really detract from the film.
Alison Lohman doesn't do a horrible job, but she didn't impress me at all. I would have preferred to see it with the originally cast Ellen Page, but after shooting to stardom following Juno, she left this project to do... Whip It? A shame - this would have been a much more interesting choice. Justin Long has the thankless boyfriend role that isn't big enough for him to do much with. Minor vague spoilers ahead: It bothered me that they tried to play the "mix-up" as a big surprise. Did anyone NOT see that coming from the very first hint of it? But, I gotta say, I definitely did NOT see the very ending coming at all. The way it played out was both bold and surprising. |
October 16, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Losers - Unrated | October 16, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Year One - PG-13 | October 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - PG | October 13, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra - PG-13 |
No one expected this to be a great film, but if any of you, like me, held out hope that it may at least succeed at just being silly popcorn fun, well... abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Where to start? The writing: HORRIBLE - The backstories and flashbacks are laughably bad. Lame jokes fall flat, but we have ample opportunity to laugh thanks to some unintentionally hilarious bad scenes. Then they thought they were being clever by shoving every catchphrase from the cartoon into the first half hour ("kung fu grip" "knowing is half the battle", "real american hero", etc) The action: could be exciting and fun, but is ruined by the bad jokes and even worse CGI. The direction: Sommers is a hack - pure and simple. The main makes people like Brett Ratner and McG look like Spielberg and Scorsese. Then there's the worst offenders of all - the acting. It's cast with a plethora of C-list actors who don't fit the parts in the slightest. Channing Tatum may very well be the worst actor of the 21st century, and can't deliver a single line convincingly, and his non-verbal acting is even worse. Marlon Wayans is annoying and fails completely at adding humor to the film. Rachel Nichols is almost as bad an actor as Tatum, and might I add not nearly as attractive as they try to pass her off as. I am simply baffled as to why a few talented people like Dennis Quaid and Joseph Gordon-Levitt chose to participate in this mess. They are far too good for this film. Paychecks, I guess. Levitt, in particular, takes on a terrible role with a stupid look and an even more ludicrous voice. Hey, I'm all for dumb fun, but this was just terrible, largely due to its cast. At least one good thing came of this film - Thanks to the nostaliga it drummed up, I made a ton of money putting my old toys up on eBay. |
October 11, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Trick 'r Treat - R |
Delayed for two years and then dumped onto DVD, there has been a lot of praise and hype for this film. Unfortunately, all that anticipation does is set expectations high and it ends up disappointing.
There's a reason it didn't open in theaters. It's just not a strong enough film and would have bombed hard. But it's the perfect kind of film to rent with some friends and watch during the Halloween season. It's light-hearted and simple fun. Just don't go in expecting too much. |
October 5, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Whip It - PG-13 |
A passable, if forgettable, film that has its share of fun moments, and most of the cast does a fine job, especially Kristen Wiig, Ellen Page, and lesser-known Wilson brother Andrew. On the negative side: Jimmy Fallon and a horrible soundtrack.
First time director Drew Barrymore seemed far more concerned with the personal relationships than with the action, and that shows, as the actual derby scenes were surprisingly lacking in much excitement. Still, there's nothing really to dislike in the film - it's just not all tt it could have been. |
October 5, 2009 | N/A | |||
| State of Play - PG-13 |
While I'm always annoyed a bit at movies which portray the press (especially newspapers) as so noble and important, there have been a few that I've really enjoyed (The Paper jumps to mind). Often it's all contingent on the cast. Originally this was to have starred Brad Pitt and Edward Norton - a reteaming I would have loved to see - but after seeing the film, I'm not sure Pitt would have been right for it. He would have done fine, I'm sure, but it would certainly have been a different film. I didn't care much for Crowe early on - his look, his character... but he grew on me. And as the face of "new" journalism in the internet age, Rachel McAdams was perfect, if a bit underused. Still, it's nice to see her resurface after an extended absence from the big screen. Helen Mirren and Jason Bateman turn in their usual great performances... The entire cast does, really. Affleck is the weakest link, but even he does a sufficient job (though I still don't buy him and Crowe as old college buddies).
The story itself was a decent thriller, though by the end the twists, turns, and revelations got to be a bit much. I'm not quite sure I would care to see the whole original BBC miniseries, as this film's running time was more than enough to cover the story. Anything more would be just filler and unnecessary tangents. |
October 5, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Horsemen - R |
Oh my, did that suck.
Dennis Quaid is one of the most underused, underrated actors around, so when I see he has a new project coming, I'm always optimistic. This one obviously wanted to be Se7en, but instead it was just another sad knock-off, and one of the worst at that. Quaid does fine, but the story and script are just duds from page one. But the absolute worst aspect of the film is Ziyi Zhang. It's safe to say she has a LOCK on worst actress of 2009 for her performance here. Yes, her English is still spotty, but even if you forgive that, her acting is still atrocious. Dennis Quaid deserves better than this. Come to think of it, looking back on his career, he's ony had a handful of really good films and a lot of mediocrity and duds. This guy needs a new agent. I hope this year's Pandorum with Quaid and Ben Foster is better. |
October 5, 2009 | N/A | |||
| The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 - R |
Denzel and director Tony Scott have done some amazing films together, but even they can't save this disaster. A movie with plotholes so big you can drive a subway train through them, and an ending that makes no sense at all. Travolta, as usual, is WAY too far over-the-top in his cheeseball acting, and this time he also manages to sport his silliest look since Battlefield Earth. Please, John - stop making movies. (Seriously, looking back over his filmography, the man has made about 3 good movies, and even those were good not because of him, but despite him)
A big disappointment considering Denzel and Tony's track record. |
October 5, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Dance Flick - PG-13 | October 2, 2009 | N/A | ||||
| Wanted - R |
From the very beginning, its Fight Club envy shows - the self-loathing of the humdrum, meaningless, comfortable life; the narration that is remarkably similar both in content and tone; the sudden appearance of a stranger who can break you free of this mediocrity and let you truly live through pain and violence... From there the story kicks into gear, and is quite enjoyable. It's just that first 10 minutes (and a snippet at the end) that are trying too hard to make the movie someting it is not and be a social commentary.
The director has a flare for staging some crazy action, and creates some amazing visuals. Unfortunately, the movie, entertaining as it may be, is much emptier than than the film I suspect he thought it was. It's a case of style over substance, though not to the extent of, say, 300 - another movie that was great fun and had extraordinary visuals, but was light on substance. What it is, is exactly what the trailers sold it as: a great over-the-top suspend-your-disbelief actioner in the spirit of things like Transporter and Crank. Leave your brain at the door and just enjoy it. |
September 27, 2009 | N/A | |||
| Duplicity - PG-13 | September 25, 2009 | N/A |
2339 ratings
171 reviews
