silentwanderer2
Name JoEy M
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I'm From UK ...
Member For394 days
Last Login Fri. Aug 8
Profile Views769
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Movie: Ratatouille | Scream | A Nightmare On Elm Street
Actor: Angelina Jolie | Michelle Pfeiffer | Robert Englund
Director: Wes Craven
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About Me
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I HEART MOVIES..

I wanna be a moderator :(

JoEy's Recent Reviews

Along Came Polly Along Came Polly PG-13 4.0 Stars
So cool! So funny!
The Break-Up The Break-Up PG-13 4.0 Stars
The relationship between Vaughn and Aniston is great. Well at least I thought it was.
Stardust Stardust PG-13 4.0 Stars
Brilliant. Just wow.
Diary of the Dead Diary of the Dead R 3.0 Stars
Worth seeing just for that grotesque ending. It is painfully stupid at parts, but even if it was dull - it was still fun. Average.
Bean Bean PG-13 3.0 Stars
Quite humorous.
Halloween II Halloween II R 3.0 Stars
Not as good as the orinal, but then again - you rarely find a sequel that hits the notch that the original did, apart from maybe Scream 2.

JoEy's Favorite Movies

Scream 1. Scream R 5.0 Stars
Better than all the other horror films I have watched throughout the years, Scream lives up to all of the challenges of horror-making, and leaves a little thrill and references to other horrors in between. Brilliant, just brilliant.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith 2. Mr. & Mrs. Smith PG-13 5.0 Stars
Sharp dialogue, twisted sense of humour. Added touch of good-looks and guns, and this creates a superb remake of a sexy classic. A beautiful film.
Enchanted 3. Enchanted PG 4.0 Stars
Possibly the best Disney film. You gain something from this masterpiece. Lovely.
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider 4. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider PG-13 5.0 Stars
Created from the Tomb Raider Franchise, Jolie stars in this sexy game-based action adventure in which she has to find her father and a particular artefact, but of course somebody else is after it - the villains. Noah Taylor and Daniel Craig star belongside Ms.Croft in the best game-based film ever made.
Open House 5. Open House Unrated 4.0 Stars
I have watched this film twice now, I look back on the first time watching it and I cried. This Lahti drama is more than good, this drama packs all the crap from the original novel and places it in a well-casted and well-written television film.
The Village 6. The Village PG-13 4.0 Stars
Terrifying. Really good fun. When I was young I had nightmares fort two weeks.

JoEy's Talk

  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    The Cell The Cell
    3.5 Stars by Todd
    Much like Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth,this is a visionary film that completely breaks the mold,unlike Pan's however,this film is virtually unheard of.I must start off saying that this is like no other serial killer film ever made-Jennifer Lopez (Who isn't THAT irritating in this)and Vince Vaugh are two detectives searching for a girl stuck in a cell much akin to the cell in the original SAW,that fills up with aqua until she drowns in it.To do so,however,Lopez must tour the twisted channels of this deranged man's mind (Who they discover has a rare schizophrenic disorder and can no longer talk.)Within this realm,she sees twisted portraits of females,the man's family,self,and the devil.I'd recommend this to people that have a sense of phantasy (no typo),therefore if you liked Narnia,Pan's,Harry potter,but also enjoy films like Hostel,Silence Of The Lambs then you will enjoy this.
    A visionary film that until yesterday, I had never known was so-well,visionary.
    posted 11 hours ago
  • jadieknoxs
    Check out my new profile widget!
    posted 19 hours ago
  • marceyness
    I recommend you see...
    Stuck Stuck
    3.5 Stars by Marcey
    Being a fan of Stuart Gordon I was really looking forward to this. I had no idea how this would work as a film, the real story is awfully disturbing and I remember hearing about it. Leave it up to Stuart Gordon to make something very unique and disturbing, with his own twist. Story goes a young caregiver (mena Suvari) who is up for a promotion at work, goes out, has drugs/alcohol and decides to drive home, she hits Tom (Rea) who is a now homeless and unemployed. But she doesn't just hit him, he goes through her windshield, where she just leaves him. Brandi starts of as a likeable character but when you see her going to drive home despite the state she's in you automatically think what a stupid idiot. You really sympathise with Tom, played so well by Stephen Rea. And once she hits him, and she just leaves him there, you really just want to throttle her so badly. Mena Suvari is actually quite perfect in this role, displaying all the things her character is going through which ultimately like I said makes you want to throttle her. You can't help but want Tom to get away, but it seems things just go from bad to worse. The ending is a bit over the top but I did like it though. Something different from Stuart Gordon who will forever hold a special place in my heart for bringing my Re-Animator. This is not an easy film to recommend, but I would say if you are a fan of Stuart Gordon, Mena Suvari or Stephen Rea you really should check it out. And yes, this is based upon actual events, look it up, it is very disturbing!
    Not an easy film to recommend but I think it is worth checking out
    posted 2 days ago
  • ilovetina
    Hey - try this quiz and see how we compare

    Name the Actor/s
    posted 2 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead
    3.0 Stars by Todd
    The only reason I'm gracing this film w/t three stars is for the fact that lying underneath all the cheezy crap in it,there were characters and a plot-line that I cared about.The main problems were the Home-Alone carbon copy kid,and the black lesbo.The film would have easily gotten atleast three and a half stars w/o them,and then the Evil-Dead 2 copies,and the ROTLD zombis were just further insults.Save you'r money for when Oblivion gets released on the 28th.
    Save your cash for when Phantasm Obli1Vion comes out.I certainly wish I did!!
    posted 3 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Troll 2 Troll 2
    4.0 Stars by Todd
    The Best Worst Movie Ever!!!After 'trolling' the net, I have finally found a way to watch this for free on you-tube.Go to www.youtube.com and type in the search bar 'Troll 2 taelaf' then it should come up as Troll 2 (! of 10),Troll 2 (2 of 10)and so on.This really is one of the absolutely funniest pictures ever made."They're eating her,and then they're going to eat me too.Oh my goooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    B/c I'm such a good friend,I have found you guys another free-bee!This one is the infamously bad Troll 2-enjoy!
    posted 5 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Phantasm II Phantasm II
    4.0 Stars by Todd
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4140212533604305387&hl=en

    Type this in your address bar to watch this film for free on Google video.

    Great,great sequel to Don Coscarilli's Phantasm,too bad it's not on DVD in America and most likely never will be.
    To watch this film for free,follow the instructions in my review,for some reason a space went between half of the link and the other-rid of this when you do so.(You can't find this film in America unfortunately,which is why I seeked it out on the internet.)
    posted 5 days ago
  • nohalobaby
    I recommend you see...
    The Good Son The Good Son
    5.0 Stars by Emily
    I seriously love this movie. I don't think anyone understands how much i love this movie. Amazing, standing ovation
    Hey, you should really see this! Really good, oldish, but good!
    posted 6 days ago
  • jadieknoxs
    Check out my new profile widget!
    posted 6 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Phantasm Phantasm
    4.5 Stars by Todd
    Can't quite say that I expected to love this film as much as I did,and as of right now I can't explain why I did.I could say that Angus Scrimm was phenomenal and creepy as The Tall Man,I could say that Don Cosacilli is a great horror director,but this HAS already been said.So I guess I'll add one thing to the list:THIS FILM HAS BALLS!!!!!!!!!!
    Check this out...if you've got the balls!(HA!!PUN!!)
    posted 7 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Hostel: Part II Hostel: Part II
    2.0 Stars by Todd
    How do I come to review a films as hated as the Hostel series?Well,I could say that I mucho dugg the original,I could also say that the sequel did absolutely zilch for me-so I must say,thank you Eli Roth for ruining your perfect slate of films...NAAT!!!The torture sucked (We get an off-screen kill,MEH,),and the characters come off about as two-dimensional as the printer-paper lying beside my feet as I type this.(The geeky girl anyone?)The ending was SO exaggerated by fan-boys and ghoulies (Yea,I talk like the Cryptkeeper when I review cheezy horror flicks,so whut?)that when I did watch it,I just laughed-and NOT in a good way.The dude's shlong looked WAY unreal,thus losing all impact when it goes under hte knife!!Come on KNB!!Also it is brought up in many reviews that the aspect of an e-bay-esque sub-plot-and I must say that IMO it sucked harder than Paris Hilton at a sausage-fest!!The opening of the film showing what happens to Mr. Hernandez's character was so 'effed up I can't even say-he moves in with the chick from Club Dread,then gets his head cut off with a chainsaw by whom you may ask,your guess is as good as mine,and his cat is seen licking from the severred neck WTF!!?I know a good in-joke when I see one-this was NOT!!!However,there are good aspects to this turd-fest of a sequel,Bijou Phillips was a great lead,better than Paxton in part 1.Oh,I lied when I said good aspect"S",my apollogies.Save your time,watch The Howling 3:The Marsupials instead-you'll atleast get a few chuckles from THAT sequel.
    I've gotten a few messages as to why I recommend films that I give a total of only two stars-I consider the act of doing this recommending to STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS FILM AS POSSIBLE.
    posted 8 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Doomsday Doomsday
    4.0 Stars by Todd
    In the inspired tradition of Grindhouse,Niel Marshall homages films in the irk of Escape From New York,and Mad Max (The latter of which I have yet to see).The story is pretty much straightforward,Scottland is sealled off and its up to one-eyes Rhona Mitra to come in and find a cure for the deadly reaper virus.Sound familiar?It is,but its okay,because Marshall wasn't going for originality with this one.I should probably say that for about 20 minutes of the film the cast goes into medieval times to find Malcolm McDowell,apparently people weren't too pleased with this,and I can't blame them,but if this was going down I'd be hiding in a castle w/t horses and arrows too!My complaint for this is that it felt like Marshall was afraid that this may be his ONLY chance to film a big-budget film and tried cramming ALL of his ideas into one big movie,which MAY have actually been somewhat of an attribute towards the film.
    Hey, you should really see this!
    posted 10 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Doomsday Doomsday
    4.0 Stars by Todd
    In the inspired tradition of Grindhouse,Niel Marshall homages films in the irk of Escape From New York,and Mad Max (The latter of which I have yet to see).The story is pretty much straightforward,Scottland is sealled off and its up to one-eyes Rhona Mitra to come in and find a cure for the deadly reaper virus.Sound familiar?It is,but its okay,because Marshall wasn't going for originality with this one.I should probably say that for about 20 minutes of the film the cast goes into medieval times to find Malcolm McDowell,apparently people weren't too pleased with this,and I can't blame them,but if this was going down I'd be hiding in a castle w/t horses and arrows too!My complaint for this is that it felt like Marshall was afraid that this may be his ONLY chance to film a big-budget film and tried cramming ALL of his ideas into one big movie,which MAY have actually been somewhat of an attribute towards the film.
    Hey, you should really see this!
    posted 10 days ago
  • BBB21
    I recommend you see...
     The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2) The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2)
    2.5 Stars by Stevie
    Ugh, so many years since the series ended, you think they could have come up with a storyline that was a little more exciting than this. It's not a bad movie, and i'm torn between giving it 2.5 or 3, but fuck it, considering how well made some of the episode back in the day were, this fails in comparison.
    The whole thing just kinda....plods along at a slow pace and doesn't even go anywhere, there were hardly ANY supernatural things in it, it was more of a crime thriller.....except, it wasn't thrilling at all. The first movie was MUCH better, more cinematic and a more interesting storyline. After the long wait, you think they could have gone a little more ALL OUT with doing something SCARY and fun. But it was all so standard and dull.
    In saying that though, Gillian and David still have good chemistry, and my favourite moments in the movie were when they were on screen together.
    Not a BAD movie, just very disappointing considering what else they could have done. Once the movie ends, it feels very "what's the point?". A missed opportunity.
    Be weary of it, it's not BAD, but it's not as good as it could have been either. Still nice to see Scully and Mulder together. Even if it is a little stale.
    posted 11 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Lost Boys 2: The Tribe Lost Boys 2: The Tribe
    3.0 Stars by Todd
    A complete mixxed bag of a sequel to the cult classic The Lost Boys.Not one aspect of the film could be given a solid rating:the acting,the special effects(The one girl turned to stone!?WHAT!!?),the characters,and the story which was a complete rehash of the original's.To give this film credit,they did manage to bring back all of its predecessor's leads in what short roles three of which (Counting the Saxophone Guy)ended up with,atleast Fieldman got a decent amount of screen-time along with a Tom Savini cameo.However all the lesser known actors were all on and off at times,and couldn't convince me to root for them.

    If we the fans get anything out of this it would be one step closer to the anticipated Lost Girls,or atleast a Lost Boys 3 featuring Fieldman,Haim,and Newlander as the leads once again.(Even though Haim & Newlander haven't aged well IMO.)
    I can't entirely recommend this because it was somewhat of a let-down,however if you feel the need for some Fieldman action and both Lost Boys and Stand By Me are out of hand,you could brave this...and wonder why we never got The Lost Girls.
    posted 15 days ago
  • pier007
    Hey - try this quiz and see how we compare. IF YOU HAVE SEEN 'GILDA'

    Gilda
    posted 17 days ago
  • jadieknoxs
    hi wuu2 2day
    posted 18 days ago
  • pier007
    I recommend you see...
    Milagro en Roma (Miracle in Rome) Milagro en Roma (Miracle in Rome)
    3.5 Stars by Pierluigi
    It is good to know that there's another cinematic nexus between my two countries (Colombia and Italia) besides that gruesome exploitation movie 'cannibal holocaust'. I would have liked this even more if director Lisandro Duque would have had a little more technical proficiency. Nevertheless, he made a little heartwarming and sharply perceptive social commentary based on a short story by Gabriel García Marquez, about the helpless condition of a father who loses his daughter and years later he witnesses her body has not decomposed while she was on her grave. The townspeople in their recalcitrant catholicism wish to send the couple to the pope in vatican city, hoping the church to declare her the first colombian saint, despite the lack of help of the local authorities. What the father doesn't know is that the church will be reluctant to fulfill his wish, and in their incompetent bureaucracy, they will force the poor man and his daughter to wander through the streets of Rome in a seemingly aimless crusade.
    Hey, you should really see this!
    posted 21 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Brutal Massacre: A Comedy Brutal Massacre: A Comedy
    3.5 Stars by Todd
    A funny documentary about what not to do making low-budget horror brought to you by LMB (Lick My Balls)Productions.Starring the stars of Evil-Dead,Clerks,American Werewolf In London,Texas Chainsaw Massacre,and Dawn Of The Dead.
    posted 24 days ago
  • thatsyiwonanemmy
    I recommend you see...
    Blood and Chocolate Blood and Chocolate
    2.5 Stars by Todd
    Why so jumpy?That was not only a bad rip-off of the Dark Knight tag-line but also a question I asked the characters of the film.It becomes pathetic how many times the shape-shifters leap into the air,I soon became unsure as to if they were actually shape-shifters or (Plot twist!)professional athletes.It wasn't all bad, the premise of a graphic novelist (Who nonetheless writes about werewolves)ends up in a town full of them,but it wasn't the main plot of the story and was VERY underused.So again,why so jumpy?
    Why so jumpy?
    posted 24 days ago

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