Robert Crosbie (theoneandonlytony)


Robert 's Recent Reviews


The Fourth Kind The Fourth Kind PG-13
Ok, I know this movie is getting a lot of either Love it or Hate it reviews. I personally Hate it... but only because it scares the crap out of me!! Seriously! Usually I come away from "Horror" movies un-satisfied and just generally bored by the lack of diversion at another gimic-style movie. This time, the movie has really stuck with me.

Thanks to this fucking movie I've dreamt about owls for the last few nights!!
But more importantly... I can't get the image of Dr Abigail Tyler's 'Ringu style' face out of my head when she goes under!

Fucked up and very effective.

(I might just be a big wimp)
Triangle Triangle R
Confession time again... Yeh, I might have closed my eyes a few times whilst enduring the same monotony this movie had to offer. But... I was really tired and this movie kinda sucked. It just constantly kept covering the same ground. Over and Over again. -And you know what? It like just constantly kept covering the same ground. Over and Over again. -See! It can be annoying can't it!? Think Vantage Point, where every scene is the same but ever so slightly different, but on a boat! Its tolerable... but just barely.

Melissa Georges attempts appear desperate in trying to give the movie some form of dimension despite its mediocre/lazy direction and piss poor script -courtesy of Christopher Smith.-Guy who made that CREEP movie so it kinda figures! But a girl can only run around a boat for so long before the movie eventually grinds to a complete halt! Even the rest of the cast have a tendency to look incredibly bored, but then again who can blame them with the invariable overuse of the clichéd wondering "whats down this long creepy corridor" approaches the movie constantly seems to be taking. Seriously, at one point the supposed alpha-male believes that the "missing" crew are literally just hiding for shits and giggles. Yeh, I'd find it degrading to play a character that fucking stupid too. Either this movie really underestimates its audience's intelligence... or it is generally just that terrible!

Its everything you expect from a horror film thats been done before. But one thing that lets this movie down especially, apart from like everything else, Lack. Of. Gore. The distinct lack of all things bloody makes you feel like you are watching porn without the payoff. It teases you. But it just isn't what you are after or what you are being led to believe you are going to get. Theres no squirms, theres not jumps (maybe one), and there just isn?t enough to keep you interested.

The one and only redeeming feature for this film has to be its ending. Thats only because this movie decides to go where most horror movies usually don't, and thats one beyond when all the action/screaming has finished. Where most horrors end when the damsel in distress escapes whatevers been chasing her this one doesn't, and its almost like we get to see part of this genre spill over into the real world... with a slight twist.

Then again to top it all off.... I dont really get the ending or exactly sure what the movie was about all along. Which you'd think in your typical horror genre the production company would make an effort to try and simplify! But no! Possible *Spoiler* but I think it could have been something to do with making a promise to a Taxi Driver/Aeolus (the geek god of wind)... but you know what... I might have just dreamt that...

Robert 's Favorite Movies


Casablanca Casablanca Unrated
Ooooooooooh I dunno possibly the most fantastic movie ever made! In the history of the world ever! This has got to be my all time favourite movie. I really don't think anything can or will ever top it. The atmosphere is amazing, the chemistry between the actors is just mind blowing and the way the entire movie is made is just inspirational. Just to be able to escape into the raw emotion of it all! Extremely strong performances from both Bogart and Bergman, Bogart's performance especially for wrongfully losing out on an Academy Award to Paul Lukas (Watch On The Rhine). You see, for me this movie isn't just your not so average love story it's so much more! I mean the guy doesn't get the girl, so it isn't your stereotypical happy Hollywood ending in a time when there were no unconventional endings! The whole movie is simply about watching Bogart's character searching for closure, it's just phenomenal! In order to move on from his past he has to unexpectedly confront it. A movie with real worthy characters.. you don't feel like you're just watching any old movie... you're actually watching something real. Something genuine. Something worthy. The music. As time goes by...... How each scene seems to smoulder and melt before your eyes. The Dialogue! (Some of the most memorable quotes in cinematic history) Oh and credit due to Michael Curtiz for pulling this out of the air with no finished scripts on a failing budget. It?s just incomprehensible. Seriously, how can this not be one of the best movies ever made? It's magnificent. Absolute Perfection in every way.

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