Cats

The film is flat, without any of the camp, kitsch high energy that characterised the stage show, but its wrongness is never less than mesmerising.

You can't believe what you're looking at because it's so hideous to behold.

There's a digital veneer of horror and farce and glazed looks, and it just doesn't work, it's not sensibly thought about.

While the performances are brilliant and the songs are great, the story isn't as strong as it could be.

The movie "Cats" is-forgive the critical jargon-pretty good.

However amazing the trickery may be... the characters fall awkwardly into the crack between animal and human, and the plot, which requires them to sing and dance in competition with one another, is scarcely more convincing.

It is unlikely anyone will be feline good after witnessing this cat-astrophe because ultimately it was the morbid curiosity that killed the Cats…

I’m sure Taylor Swift’s next big hit will be a song about the jilted experience.

If by some chance, “Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat” doesn’t make you want to poke your ears out and wish that music had never been invented, bless your sincere, furry hide.

At best, it’s an ambitious misfire. At worst, it’s straight-up nightmare fuel that will haunt generations. Enter into the world of the Jellicles at your own peril.