Diamantino

This is wild, wacky stuff, as Carson might say. It went places right out of left field. There's the all-world soccer player who blows a penalty kick in the World Cup and is left shattered, but driven to do good for the world. You get these twins who are pure evil. There's an evil Minister of Propaganda. A gene specialist (also evil, who woulda thunk it?). They all want to use Diamantino's skills for their own monetary gain, not realizing his blatant dimwittedness will be an asset to him. And just as you think you might know what's up, they go into transferring genes, a lesbian scene, an island of green (and a full prism of other glorious shades), and a final battle scene. And of course, there's the fluffy puppies. Wow, Credit to directors/writers Schmidt and Abrantes for this zany flick, and to cinematographer Anderson for making it look so glorious. And kudos to the sisters Moreira and also Joana Barrios. But mostly to lead Carloto Cotta as the clueless Diamantino and the lovely Cleo Tavares. 3 stars for general cult-y wackiness and cinematography.

An unforgettable experience, with the absurd cloning story but it ends up fitting, because the rest of the narrative is AMAZING, we stay inside the character's mind and understand all his decisions, and have moments to make us cry. (10/10)

This movie is exactly what cinema needed. Cotta outing himself as one of the greatest actors of our time.

Just silly, not surreal.

The Matt Gaetz story (it makes as much sense as anything he came up with), also known as 'Diamantino', a Portuguese film. It never takes itself too serious, and if you don't you'll be rewarded with an irreverent concept and one of the oddest love stories on film. This is a low budget B movie and as far as they go it's pretty darn great! Don't think about it or try to figure it out, just let the absurdity of it all wash over you! Final Score: 7.5/10

A truly surreal picture that always manages to have a firm foot in reality, Diamantino, a title I still can't pronounce on the first attempt, tackles a series of issues in bizarre yet rewarding ways. The copy I watched had very iffy subtitles, so I can't fully comment on the dialogue, but what I understood often made me laugh, and there's some very insightful conversation into the nature of talent and how people exploit those who possess it. The lead is fantastic, a loveable everyman in the Forrest Gump mould, brought to life by a vibrant and sensitive performance by Carloto Cotta, an actor I'm keen to see again in the near future. The movie doesn't shout any of its messages, and instead allows them to pay out naturally through our heroes' highs and lows. The spy subplot might not go anywhere, but for the most part the movie keeps focus on its eponymous lead and takes us through several of his life-changing experiences. A movie that might offend the palates of casual viewers, but for those looking for something different, Diamantino delivers just that.

"You mentioned Cristiano Ronaldo – but in Portugal, everybody believes him, which is really shocking." -Gabriel Abrantes What is it that they believe and why is this shocking? What is truly shocking is how you actually portray this national icon when he stands for hard work, success and love for his fellow human beings.

DIAMANTINO, written and directed by Daniel Schmidt and Gabriel Abrantes is a wonderfully bizarre Portugal film where at the center lies an incredible warm-hearted sweetness. The title character, played by Carlota Cotta, is a soccer player (clearly inspired by Cristiano Ronaldo), who is responsible for a cultural disappointment after missing a penalty kick during the final moments of a World Cup championship game. Diamantino decides to make good for himself by adopting a refugee. Unbeknownst to him, the adopted refugee is actually a lesbian secret service agent who is investigating him for money laundering. Diamantino's problems worsen once his money obsessed siblings decide to hand him off to a mad scientist with plans to clone his genetics for a government plot to strengthen Portugal's power within the EU. The under the radar queerness is almost undermined with the muddy sexual dynamics of the narrative. The film veers into the dangerous old school notion that male charm is irresistible, even for a lesbian. A notion that hopefully contemporary audiences have enough sense not to buy into as an argument for sexual preferences instead of orientation. Additionally, the lesbian/secret service/refugee character Aisha, who is pretending to be a young boy and calls Diamantino ‘daddy' while watching the character development between the two becoming more intimate had me absolutely squirming in my seat with its implications. The redemption of the film is the compassionate message about finding acceptance and love, even if gender bending, genetically modified breasts are involved.

Great story, acting and directing. It takes so many turns.

Hit or miss? Definitely a miss.