Lantern's Lane

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Not in the "so bad it's good" way, and not in the "you should watch it because it's funny how bad it is" way. Just in the way that I'm mystified that people paid money to produce this garbage that was nothing but a boring high school film from beginning to end. It's not comedy, it's not horror, it's barely even a movie. Anyone who rated this above a 3 was trying to artificially inflate their score, or is a complete idiot who's also entertained by jingling keys. Don't waste your time

It's horrible. I made an account just to review this movie. It's boring, nothing happens, the characters suck, the dialogue is horrendous, and I haven't even finished the movie yet. The wounds are barely wounds. The killer looks like it's just some normal person. I hate this movie. Don't watch it.

Totally STUPID! These people do everything EXACTLY OPPOSITE of what anyone in their position would do, and against all common sense. One of them escapes and literally stays around the house the killer has her friends trapped in, playing hide and seek instead of running as far away from the place as she can and bringing back help. When her friend even tries to suggest she go for help, what does she do instead? Insist on sneaking back into the house to be trapped inside with her friends instead! These are brainless wonders for people if I’ve ever seen.

A Slasher Film Lost in the Shadows of Mediocrity. Attempting to be a slash-and-dice extravaganza, this film feels more like a lost trick-or-treater wandering into a poorly decorated haunted house. The script might as well have been scrounged from the bargain bin of horror clichés, lacking the spine-tingling, nerve-wracking elements fans crave. Gathering in a haunted lane should be hair-raising, but it's about as terrifying as a trip to the dentist. The film's direction is akin to a driver on autopilot, missing every opportunity to rev up the tension. Performances are as exciting as a deflated balloon, leaving characters as deep as a kiddie pool. Lantern's Lane is a flashlight in desperate need of fresh batteries—watch at your own risk if boredom beckons, but don't expect spine-tingling thrills.

It watches like a Hallmark channel movie. This movie hurt my brain. Will never recover brain cells.

My only question after watching this horrible movie is why didn't they just phone the police? At least it didn't cost anything to watch. Imagine spending $ to sit through this turkey

This movie was irredeemable, other than that man with the mustache. He was cool. The acting? Well, it wasn't the worst. If this movie were any slower-paced, I would fall asleep. The "twist" was not even that surprising. The set design was wholly distracting, but probably the best part of the entire film. If I could taste this film, it would be leftover pasta from the back of my fridge that I reheated and threw back up. It has potential, but every aspect of how it's made it a terrible, no-good, and horrid movie.

This movie came about 40 years too late. The big reveal at the very end is completely obvious from heavily expositional dialogue in the first five minutes. Nothing happens at all for the first hour. The title and backdrop of the story are totally meaningless and have no impact on the story. The rationale for most of the characters even being there doesn't make much sense. I can't understand why this is labeled at a horror-comedy on all the streaming websites, as no humor in the movie is intentional. I seriously question why someone took the time to write this screenplay and who liked it enough to bring it to life.

truly mediocre acting. it seemed like it was trying to be a horror movie but landed flat

Noted.....make sure to come back to your home town more often so you don't get killed lol